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Happiness is and will always be the most cherished, yet most elusive, of all human desires. Day in and day out, many search for happiness, but end the day empty handed.
Happiness isn’t something that someone gives us, nor is it something that we have to have permission for. Happiness is a state of mind that is created from within. Here are 11 ways to ensure happiness is a part of your everyday life.
1. State your achievements
“There is joy in work. There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.” – Henry Ford
It’s easy to get caught up in day-to-day life and never take the time to reflect on the things we have accomplished. Each of us has done plenty of awesome things in our lives.
So what if life isn’t perfect at this exact moment. It’s okay that it’s taking a tad bit longer with your fitness goals. Don’t worry that you haven’t reached the pinnacle of your career just yet.
The most important thing is that you are moving forward and you’re in a better position today than you were yesterday.
Start a journal listing accomplishments, milestones, and breakthroughs you’ve experienced. After writing this list, take a moment or two to reflect on all you’ve done.
2. Include the little things you love into your day-to-day life
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” – Robert Brault
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “It’s the little things in life that matter.” The little things are the small and often underappreciated aspects of life that truly make us happy. Rather, it’s your favorite cup of Joe, your morning walk along the beach, attending your favorite yoga class, or wearing that outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks.
Schedule your life around the small details that bring you happiness.
3. Do what you love
As Steve Jobs famously said, “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”
People who do what they love for a living tend to live a happier and more productive life, have higher self-esteem, and better health.
4. Paint your perfect day
“To accomplish great things, we must first dream, then visualize, then plan…believe…act!” – Alfred A. Montapert
Everyone has the power to live each day exactly the way they want to. We all have the same 24 hours to work with. It’s up to you to decide how to fill up those minutes.
Ask yourself, are you wasting time watching reality TV, sleeping late, complaining about your job, and wishing for a better life? Or are you going after your goals and dreams, and doing whatever it takes to reach them?
Take these 3 steps to achieve your perfect day:
- Realize you have the power to achieve anything you’ve ever wanted and no one else can do the work for you.
- Figure out what your perfect day looks like.
- You must believe 100% that your perfect day will become a reality.
5. Put yourself above everything else
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in the world.” – Lucille Ball
It’s time you put yourself first and become selfish. While it’s admirable to help others, don’t forget to show yourself some love. Treat yourself to a massage. Take a weekend trip where you can disconnect from the noisy world you live in.
Block out your time and let no one cut in.
6. Tell yourself today will be awesome
“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” – Dr. Joyce Brothers
Happiness comes from within. Happiness starts with reshaping your mindset to be positive and eliminating all negative thoughts.
Be positive and believe in yourself, no matter the obstacles that might stand in your way.
7. Forget being perfect and accept yourself as is
“If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.” – Leo Tolstoy
People often act confident and secure around others but deep down, they’re insecure.
Realize we live in an imperfect world and stop comparing yourself to others (it’s not worth it to play ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’).
Once you learn to accept yourself for who you are, life becomes simpler and more peaceful.
8. Surround yourself with the right company
“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” – Oprah Winfrey
Your friends should bring out the best version of you and help you strive to new levels in life. Think of your company in terms of quality instead of quantity.
It’s more important to have a few quality friends who inspire you, than tons of friends who leave you in a negative state of mind.
9. Stop worrying and keep it moving
“Stop worrying about what you have to lose and start focusing on what you have to gain.” – Author unknown
Life is full of what ifs and endless possibilities. Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen, whether you worry or not.
So, why waste time worrying when some things you have no control over?
If what you are worrying about isn’t within your means to be solved, then move on and don’t let it put a damper on your parade. Embrace the uncertainty that life brings us and get to enjoying life.
10. Get out of your comfort zone and become bold
“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” – Brian Tracy
We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.” – Max Depree
Nothing worth having comes with a 100% guarantee of success, nor should it. Being willing to take risks is what life is all about.
Living in your comfort zone shrinks your world and gives you tunnel vision. Instead of thinking, “If only I had…,” take a leap of faith and maybe, just maybe, you’ll discover the life you always wanted.
11. Have a feel-good song
“Words make you think. Music makes you feel. A song makes you feel a thought.” – Yip Harburg
Everyone needs a go-to song when they need to brighten up their day. It’s been proven that music can make us happy even on our worst of days.
Here’s a go-to song that even the saddest person will have to crack a smile to when listening.
What song is always sure to make you smile and feel awesome? Comment below.
Ask yourself each morning, “What am I going to sculpt today?”
- We’re capable of choosing what to think about and what to do in our lives.
- These choices will have a significant impact on our happiness.
- Each person has the opportunity to make their days happier.
There is a myth that happiness is only accessible through luck. If you’re lucky in life, you’re able to feel more happiness than most. I’m here to tell you that this is not true. We are all capable of creating our own happiness, even if it takes a bit of hard work and effort. Today I want to talk to discuss how we can change our mindset to achieve happiness no matter our circumstances.
Let’s use a metaphor to explore this. Michelangelo created the David, which is considered one of the most beautiful sculptures ever done. Before this masterpiece came to be, it was just a large chunk of marble. But, with Michelangelo’s skill and hard work, he turned the large chunk of rock into a world-famous piece of art. We’re all capable of doing the same thing with our lives.
The first step of this is simply acknowledging the fact that we are all capable of creating our own happiness. We must let go of the thought that our circumstances affect our happiness, and we must tell ourselves that we hold the power to our own happiness. In other words, every thought or action we take affects the sculpture of our life. I ask myself throughout the day, what am I sculpting? Am I creating things that bring beauty and peace? This could be by reading a good book, helping a neighbor, or checking in with a friend. I also ask myself if I’m engaging in things that tear my sculpture down? This could mean thinking negatively about a friend, becoming frustrated by things that are out of my control, and the list goes on. Just like there are opportunities throughout the day to welcome peace, there are opportunities to welcome frustration and negativity.
I challenge you to ask yourself each morning, “What am I going to sculpt today?” I hope you’ll tell yourself that you’re working on your own David.
This kind of work and effort doesn’t happen overnight. Remember, Michelangelo’s statue took years to sculpt, but the end result was exquisite. We can get more out of our day when we recognize that every choice we make affects our overall structure. This includes what we watch on our phones, what we listen to, our thoughts, and how we treat others.
Step number two is to examine what kind of sculpture you are creating throughout the day. Is it one built on positive thoughts or one built on negativity? We have many opportunities to make decisions throughout the day, and the best thing we can do for ourselves is to examine these decisions and make changes when needed. The brilliant thing about this thinking is that we hold all the power to make changes to our lives.
Maybe today you choose to reach out to a friend, find a volunteering opportunity, or simply go for a walk. All of these decisions add up to a more beautiful sculpture and a better version of yourself.
Some of you listening to this may think back on the worst things you’ve done in your life and believe that there is no coming back from those mistakes. I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. Let’s stick with our sculpture metaphor—there is a sculpture called the Winged Victory of Samothrace, and it is regarded as one of the most incredible sculptures ever created. One thing that stands out about this artwork is the angel that was sculpted doesn’t have a head. This example teaches us that beauty can still be created when we’ve lost pieces of ourselves.
If we truly want to achieve happiness and joy, we must embrace forgiveness and kindness towards those that hurt us, but also to ourselves. It’s hard to go through life without hurting someone else. If we can tell ourselves a different story that doesn’t include shame, we can replace it with a story that says, it’s okay to make mistakes, I’m only human. Once we replace the narrative, it’ll be easier to access inner peace and forgiveness.
It may feel daunting if you’ve never tried this practice before. I suggest checking out my extensive library of podcast episodes to explore how we can live happier lives. And if those don’t suit your fancy, I recommend finding a different teacher or mentor to help you on this journey.
Every person can have a beautiful life if they want. For most people the only thing that is holding them back is themselves. If we learn to take an inventory of our inner dialogue and how we spend our time, we can gain a deeper understanding of what we need to be happier. When we learn what those things are, there is nothing that can stand in the way of sculpting ourselves an exquisite life.
This article was co-authored by Rachel Clissold. Rachel Clissold is a Life Coach and Consultant in Sydney, Australia. With over six years of coaching experience and over 17 years of corporate training, Rachel specializes in helping business leaders move through internal roadblocks, gain more freedom and clarity, and optimize their company’s efficiency and productivity. Rachel uses a wide range of techniques including coaching, intuitive guidance, neuro-linguistic programming, and holistic biohacking to help clients overcome fear, break through limitations, and bring their epic visions to life. Rachel is an acclaimed Reiki Master Practitioner, Qualified practitioner in NLP, EFT, Hypnosis & Past Life Regression. She has created events with up to 500 people around Australia, United Kingdom, Bali, and Costa Rica.
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Tolstoy condensed his thoughts on the matter into a handful of words: “If you want to be happy, be.” Fortunately, many others have compiled more actionable advice. Still, Tolstoy’s point holds: Don’t look for happiness, create it. To do so, you need to develop and maintain a positive mindset, set and achieve goals, and connect with others. With a bit of attention to your mental outlook, a pragmatic assessment of what you want to accomplish, and some heartfelt connections to those with whom you share your life, you can create and live in a state of genuine happiness.
If you are asked what you want the most in your life, your answer most probably would be “happiness”. A happy life is something all of us want.
It is not just you. Happiness is a powerful tool and one of the most sought-after commodities in the entire world.
Does it mean that an overwhelming majority of the population is unhappy? Is that why they are chasing their own happiness all the time?
Or does it imply that people are happy because they were successful in the pursuit of their own happiness?
These are tricky questions to answer. Identifying trends about happiness is not an easy task.
Instead, let us try to find answers to questions that are more personal. Such as,
- What does it mean to find your own happiness?
- How important is it to be happy?
- What are the 7 keys to happiness?
- Can you create your own happiness?
- How can you make yourself happy?
This article is an attempt at understanding the power of happiness and the reason why we put a premium on happiness. And, everything you need to know about how to find happiness on your own.
What is the meaning of happiness?
Defining happiness is a Herculean task. It is more like trying to build a castle in the air – a stretch goal. It is hard, challenging, and almost impossible to achieve.
The reason is simple. Happiness means different things to different people. What makes a person happy may not have the same effect on others. But we will give it a try.
Happiness is an emotional state that encompasses the feelings of joy, pleasure, delight, comfort, peace, playfulness, contentment, fulfillment, satisfaction, and more. How a person experiences their own happiness depends on what makes them happy.
Here are some more details about happiness. So that you get a clearer picture.
- Happiness is a feeling or an emotion and not an attribute. It is not part of a person’s character.
- Happiness is not permanent. It doesn’t remain the same way forever. Based on your current experience and mental state, it goes up and down.
- Happiness is a byproduct of fulfillment or satisfaction. Meaning, you feel happy when you achieve what you set out to do.
- Happiness is felt deep inside as well as it is an outward expression or a display for the outside world. It can be either an inside job or an external experience or a combination of both.
- Happiness is a positive emotion. There is nothing negative about it.
Even though the definition of happiness is complicated, the emotion itself is simple to attain. The route to happiness is uncomplicated and easy to figure out.
What are the 7 keys to happiness?
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Gandhi
One of the biggest misconceptions about happiness is that you achieve it only as an offshoot of accomplishing something rather than finding your own happiness during the process. The cause-effect strategy to find happiness has many drawbacks; your own happiness is entirely dependent on the success of the mission. Though there is no harm in embracing this approach.
On the other hand, creating happiness on its own first and working towards success is a more practical and effective approach. Or better still is the approach of enjoying the path to the goal and finding your own happiness in it.
Here are the 7 keys that can open a world of happiness for you.
- Live in the present moment.
- Be resilient and learn to adapt.
- Prioritize your focus and energy.
- Take a step back and relax to activate your creativity.
- Love and treat yourself as well as you love your family and friends.
- Step out of your comfort zone.
- Make your feelings of empathy evident.
How do you achieve Happiness?
Are you born with it?
or can you buy it?
We at Empowered Mind believe that: We Create our own Happiness
We Create our own Happiness
Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.
What’s your definition of happiness?
Research in the field of Positive Psychology & Happiness often defines a happy person as someone who experiences frequent positive emotions, such as joy, interest, pride, and sometimes infrequent (though not absent) negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, and anger (Lyubomirsky et al., 2005).
Happiness has also been said to relate to life satisfaction, appreciation of life, moments of pleasure, but overall it has to do with the positive experience of emotions. [Psychology Today]
The ancient Greeks defined happiness as:
“Happiness is the joy that we feel when we’re striving after our potential.”
HAPPINESS has traditionally been considered difficult to find or a fading thing.
To some, even trying to achieve it is an exercise in futility.
It has been said that:
“Happiness is, as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”
Happiness is not ready-made – We Create our own Happiness
Like the Dalai Lama states so well:
Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.
The power is within us.
“We are the Shapers of our Destiny – I strongly believe we need to actively participate in our own healing (mind-body-spirit) to enhance our Health, Happiness & Prosperity”
The 3-pillars of happiness are: We Create our own Happiness
The foundations for Happiness are good Relationships, good Health, and Abundance (fulfillment, contentment, sense of accomplishment, sense of purpose)
The 3-pillar for Happiness
The dictionary defines relationships, abundance & health as:
Re·la·tion·ship (noun) The way in which two or more people regard and behave toward each other
A·bun·dance (noun) A very large quantity of something.
Health (noun) The state of being free from illness or injury.
Happiness comes from choosing to be happy with whatever you do, strengthening your closest relationships and taking care of yourself physically, financially and emotionally.
Thus revealed a recent survey of Harvard’s class of 1980 – with data likely biased to those feeling good enough about their lives to respond to the survey. Responses were compared between those “extremely happy” and the rest of the respondents. [Forbes ]
Importance of Social relationships and our mental and physical health
The research by the London School of Economics looked at responses from 200,000 people on how different factors impacted their well-being. “The evidence shows that the things that matter most for our happiness and for our misery are our social relationships and our mental and physical health.
The study was based on several international surveys from around the world.
On a scale of one to 10, the doubling of someone’s pay saw their happiness rise by less than 0.2. The researchers said this was down to people caring more about how their incomes compared to other people’s than how it affected them. [ BBC ]
Audio summary published by BBC:
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
-Franklin D. Roosevelt
What’s the secret to a happy life?
Many might say that money is a big part of the equation. But intrigued with discovering the secrets to a meaningful and happy life, a group of Harvard researchers launched a study in 1938. Then, they followed 268 male Harvard undergraduates – for 75 years.
The unique Harvard Grant Study collected data on the men’s lives through surveys and interviews. They looked at all aspects, including relationships, politics, and religion, coping strategies and alcohol use. What they found may surprise you.
Perhaps one of the biggest revelations was that love really does matter when it comes to living a fulfilled life.
The study’s most important finding
Relationships are the only things that matter in life. You could have a successful career, money and good physical health, but without supportive, loving relationships, you’d be unhappy. The ability to take in love is a great human skill. Even our earliest relationships are important to long-term happiness, especially the mother-child relationship. [First things ] We are social creatures and from cradle to grave. We have a range of relationships that we need to navigate and grow i.e. family, teachers, classmates, co-workers, spouse or partner, children, etc.
What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness
What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it’s fame and money, you’re not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you’re mistaken. As the director of a 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life. [TEDTalk]
The 3-pillars are key factors to Happiness. However, the 3-pillars mentioned above i.e. Relationships, Abundance & Health are closely interconnected or intertwined.
At different times in our lives, we can be in a vicious-cycle or virtuous-cycle depending on where we are in our Happiness Journey!.
You see, unhealthy or toxic Relationships can adversely impact you Health and impede your success and be a roadblock to Abundance (i.e. contentment, sense of achievement & purpose). The opposite is also true, poor physical or emotional health such as chronic illness or being stressed, anxious & depressed can definitely impact your Relationships and Abundance. Also, feeling of discontent, feeling defeated, self-doubt, being “lost” and lacking a sense of purpose can have a negative impact on your Relationships and Health. This leads to a vicious-cycle or unhappiness spiral.
On the other hand, if you strengthen your Relationships, with yourself and others, you Health and Abundance/success will increase tremendously. Also, managing your stress, anxiety & depression reduces your risk for chronic illness and/or may help you recover faster. This, in turn, will enhance you Relationships and boost your Abundance & success. This leads to a virtuous-cycle of joy & Happiness.
What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life?
If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy?
So now it’s your turn to begin finding the happiness in you. What brings you joy?
“If you’re happy, if you’re feeling good, then nothing else matters.”
I have this morning ritual: I sit in my living room and write down all the things I love about my life. It’s not really that elaborate. My list is usually quite simple.
This morning I wrote about how much I love my new accountant, how grateful I was that the sun came out today, how good it felt to be sore from the yoga class the day before, and how much I enjoy watching my dog play with her toy.
I do this because I know that what you focus on grows, so why not focus on growing the parts of life that I love?
I once had a teacher who would always tell me, when faced with a decision, “choose life.” I took this to mean: make the decision in the direction of expansion, creativity, joy—life.
In my morning ritual, after writing everything I love about my life, after I’ve gotten into a juicy state of appreciation, I then direct the energy forward by writing what I want in my life.
It might be limited traffic if I’m going to be on the road that day, or gaining clarity on something I need an answer to. Or it might be inspiration for a project I’m working on or money flowing to pay my taxes.
Or it might be something more universal—I want the Haitians to have shelter and a roof covering their heads before the monsoon.
We are so conditioned to be at the effect of our lives that we often forget the power we wield to be the cause. Sometimes the simple act of stating what we want begins the process of creating that end. This is why making a decision is so powerful.
Anyway, while I was doing my morning ritual reading over some of my writing, I came across a passage that actually inspired this memo:
“I want to make feeling good my new religion.”
What would it be like to make feeling good a religion? Does it sound too hedonistic?
I think most of us lean the other way. We have duties, responsibilities, jobs to do. We show up out of obligation. We do something because we think we should or have to or we’ve always done it that way, even though it stopped serving us a long time ago.
We don’t have time. Who has time to feel good? We have work to do! But really, aren’t the simple pleasures in life what create the moments you savor?
Last week I was in LA visiting my family. My sister asked if I wanted to spend time with my niece, who was on spring break, while she was at work. So as an activity, I suggested to my niece and my retired parents that we all go bowling. Why not?
On a Monday morning,we were at All Star Lanes, the only foursome in the place. We were bowling to fifties music and watching as more than one ball went down the gutter, but cheering each other nonetheless.
At the end of our game, my mom took out her camera—she brings it with her everywhere—and asked the guy working the shoes to take a picture.
It was a moment. And it was wonderful. And it went in my “things I love about my life” notebook.
My dad said something interesting to me the other day. They just got back from a trip to Australia and now they’ve decided to plan a new trip to China. He said, “When you’re my age, you have to plan things to look forward to.”
There’s something poignant about this. We all have to have something to look forward to, and sometimes we have to be the ones that create that for ourselves.
We have to be the ones responsible for our happiness. And yes, even though it seems trite, it is important.
Tell me that your happiness doesn’t make an impact on your work place. That it doesn’t make an impact on your children. Or your relationship. That your happiness doesn’t make an impact on strangers. Or your health. Tell me that your happiness doesn’t make an impact on the planet.
Today and every day do something for yourself that brings you pleasure.
It could be as simple as buying yourself a bouquet of flowers to enjoy on your table. Sitting under the sun for a half-hour in the middle of the week. Going on an artist’s date to somewhere new.
Getting all your loose change together and buying yourself a mocha. Discovering a local park trail. Perusing the travel section in your local bookstore and deciding where you’d like to visit.
Pulling out an old recipe book and cooking something new. Spending the extra dollar and buying the vine ripened tomatoes for your salad because it tastes better. Packing a picnic and heading somewhere wonderful with your family. Sitting in your backyard listening to the birds sing.
In other words, find something that will make you happy and do it every day. Make feeling good your new religion.
For self-transformation and planetary change. Or, simply because it makes you happy.
Creating Our Own Happiness
Wayne Coyne is singer and guitarist for the Grammy Award-winning rock band The Flaming Lips. He wrote and directed Christmas on Mars, a science-fiction film featuring the group. Coyne and his wife, Michelle, a photographer, live in Oklahoma City. Michelle Martin-Coyne hide caption
I believe we have the power to create our own happiness. I believe the real magic in the world is done by humans. I believe normal life is extraordinary.
I was sitting in my car at a stoplight intersection listening to the radio. I was, I guess, lost in the moment, thinking how happy I was to be inside my nice warm car. It was cold and windy outside, and I thought, “Life is good.”
Now, this was a long light. As I waited, I noticed two people huddled together at the bus stop. To my eyes, they looked uncomfortable; they looked cold and they looked poor. Their coats looked like they came from a thrift store. They weren’t wearing stuff from The Gap. I knew it because I’d been there.
The couple seemed to be doing their best to keep warm. They were huddled together, and I thought to myself, “Oh, those poor people in that punishing wind.”
But then I saw their faces. Yes, they were huddling, but they were also laughing. They looked to be sharing a good joke, and suddenly, instead of pitying them, I envied them. I thought, “Huh, what’s so funny?” They didn’t notice the wind. They weren’t worried about their clothes. They weren’t looking at my car thinking, “I wish I had that.”
You know when a single moment feels like an hour? Well, in that moment, I realized I had assumed this couple needed my pity, but they didn’t. I assumed things were all bad for them, but they weren’t. And I understood we all have the power to make moments of happiness happen.
Now, maybe that’s easy for me to say. I feel lucky to have fans around the world, a house with a roof and a wife who puts up with me. But I felt this way even when I was working at Long John Silver’s. I worked there for 11 years as a fry cook. When you work at a place that long, you see teenagers coming in on their first dates; then they’re married; then they’re bringing in their kids. You witness whole sections of people’s lives.
In the beginning, it seemed like a dead end job. But at least I had a job. And frankly, it was easy. After two weeks, I knew all I needed to know, and it freed my mind. The job allowed me to dream about what my life could become.
The first year I worked there, we got robbed. I lay on the floor. I thought I was going to die. I didn’t think I stood a chance. But everything turned out all right. A lot of people look at life as a series of miserable tasks, but after that, I didn’t.
I believe this is something all of us can do: Try to be happy within the context of the life we are actually living. Happiness is not a situation to be longed for or a convergence of lucky happenstance. Through the power of our own minds, we can help ourselves. This I believe.
Happiness – it’s something we all aim for, along with health, wealth, and success in our endeavours. However, finding happiness in everyday life can be a difficult task. As a much sought-after emotional state, happiness can appear briefly, or be influenced by many other issues in our work and lives, making it difficult to find.
In this guide, Calmer’s Founder, Tania Diggory, explores what happiness is, how to find happiness within yourself, and the simple steps you can try to feel happier on a regular basis.
What is happiness?
Happiness is the mental state of experiencing positive or pleasant emotions.
In my experience, many people define happiness as the feeling of intense joy, which may make it harder to feel like we’re happy in our everyday lives. In fact, there are many levels to happiness, starting from a sense of contentment, and ranging through to exhilarating jubilation.
Many of us set off on a quest to reach exhilarating happiness highs on a regular basis, and this often ends in disappointment. Instead of happiness, try focusing on contentment.
What is contentment?
Contentment is the mental state of experiencing satisfaction in your present state. It is often felt when practicing mindfulness, or feeling comfortable in your mind, body, and surroundings.
While we all experience a range of emotions each day, it can be helpful to practice finding contentment on a regular basis. Next time you take a tea break, or sit back after completing a piece of work, give yourself a minute or two to practice feeling good in your body, mind, and with your daily accomplishments.
How to find happiness within yourself
Now that I’ve introduced you to the concept of contentment, here’s six steps I tend to recommend to anyone looking to feel more positive in their daily life. Reframing how you view happiness, and where you get your happiness, can be simple changes that really make a difference. Here’s my six-step process to feeling happier in your life and your work:
1. Stop chasing happiness
Many people connect happiness to the achievement of certain goals or aspirations. This practice makes happiness a reward, rather than an emotion that is deserved to be felt on a day-to-day basis.
Instead of chasing goals, and as an extension, chasing happiness, allow yourself to feel happiness whenever it comes your way.
2. Remove your own barriers to happiness
Following on from point 1, the second downside to pinning happiness on external goals is that you may fall into unhelpful thinking habits. By placing your happiness onto something external, you may forget that feeling happy is something that comes from inside, and can be found by looking inward, rather than waiting for an external action to trigger it.
Try reframing how you approach happiness, and instead of making it a long-awaited goal, consider what makes you happy on a regular basis. That may be time with family, friends, or a loved one, or doing a certain activity, such as painting, cycling, or cooking.
Give yourself permission to schedule these moments of happiness into your life on a regular basis.
3. Practice looking inwards
The third step is to practice looking inwards, with a view to discover happiness from within you. This is an activity that takes time and effort, but makes for a worthwhile habit.
Start to regularly check-in with yourself, and identify how you feel. If you’re stressed, try implementing a stress-management strategy, or if you’re feeling like you could take better care of yourself, try setting up a self-care plan.
And if you need support in checking-in with your mental health and wellbeing, try joining the Calmer Community, our membership platform providing a range of activities and practices to do each month.
4. Build your self-esteem
Once you’ve started checking-in with yourself, you can also begin to address any areas that may be troubling you. Often, internal problems can reduce self-esteem, so it may be worth spending some time looking after yourself.
The NHS notes that focusing on self-esteem can make you happy, saying “The best way to improve your self-esteem is to treat yourself as you’d treat a valued friend, in a positive but honest way.”
This is a great way to review how you look after yourself, especially if you also work for yourself. Thinking of yourself as your best boss, or your best friend, can help you to re-frame how you treat yourself and enable you to treat yourself in a kinder, fairer way.
And on top of that, allow yourself to be vulnerable, even at work. Noting your problem areas, or your weaknesses, is an important first step in finding support for them or overcoming your issues altogether.
5. Be present
Similar to practicing looking inwards, taking time to be present across your day will enable you to truly take in your surroundings, and connect with your emotions on a deeper level. Practicing mindfulness at work is becoming a new strategy that businesses like Google and Facebook are encouraging their staff to do, so you may wish to try this in your role, or with your team.
Being present may also enable you to experience happiness on a more regular basis, and on a deeper level.
6. Take time to appreciate yourself
The final step on my six-step process is to take time in appreciating yourself. Appreciate your work, your life, and your accomplishments. You can find happiness by simply reflecting on past happenings, some of them achievements, and others simply pleasant experiences.
If you’re a freelancer or entrepreneur, try reflecting on your journey on a regular basis. It’s easy to get swept up with future plans, and forget how well you’ve done previously. By focusing on your past experiences, you’ll not only re-experience the emotions that certain milestones brought, but also find ways to improve yourself and your business too.
Find happiness with Calmer
I hope that this guide has provided you with the simple steps to finding happiness on a more regular basis. If there’s only one thing you take away from this post, it’s to recognise that you have the power to feel happy within you, and with practice, it can be felt more frequently.
As one of the UK’s leading mental health and wellbeing organisations supporting professionals and entrepreneurs, Calmer believes a happy mind makes for a happy business. Looking after yourself, and those around you, can enable you to work more productively and find business success too.
If you’d like to be supported on your journey to feeling happier, take a look at our new Mindfulness Ecourses which aim to inspire good mental health in all aspects of your life from sleep and stress to kindness.
Truth is…YOU create your OWN happiness and no one can do that for you!
Your friends may give you their advice, their opinions, their beliefs…their ways…but ultimately, you need to find what makes you happy!
Here are a few ways to spontaneously CREATE a happier YOU…but remember – YOU still need to take ACTION!
√ Being healthy is still the number-1 blues buster according to numerous research studies. Let me tell you a little story. A patient went to see her doctor and said she was feeling generally unwell –she had no energy and felt quite down. Upon examining her, the doctor sat down and wrote out a prescription. It read like this: “Move your body for 30-minutes per day, eat healthy, sleep at least 8-hours a night and drink enough water. Do this for 3-weeks and you will be cured. Guaranteed.” Enough said. JUST DO IT.
√ Be prepared to change yourself. Stop blaming others, the country’s state of affairs or life. This just keeps you trapped in victimhood. I read once, “Don’t live the same day for 75 years and call it a life.” Your present life is a reflection of you, your personal responsibility. If you want a different present life? First know yourself, and then change yourself – You will then change your OWN world!
√ Stop comparing yourself to others. Strive to be the very best version of yourself, build you inner resources and measure yourself against the person you were yesterday. “Be better than yesterday.” In this life, there will always be someone richer, smarter or more attractive around. So what! Wish them well! Focus on your OWN life.
√ Find happiness in the small stuff. It’s always great when big milestones are achieved in life, but these are not the only moments when we can experience REAL happiness. Happiness is made up of a billion little-moments of positive emotions and experiences, like listening to your favourite song on the radio, or that smell before a rain storm or hugging your partner or child. Pay attention to them, and appreciate them. Be grateful!
√ Get out of your head (and off your damn phone) and live in the Moment. Sometimes you have to disconnect in order to connect. Be PRESENT. You don’t have to sit in full lotus position, meditating at the crack of dawn for an hour a day. Just pay attention to your life, thoughts, actions and feelings without judgement. Don’t guzzle down your food, taste your food, appreciate your food. While taking a walk with your dogs, notice what thoughts come into your head. Connect to your five senses. Be present to the beauty of your life and the people in it, or it will all just simply pass you by.
√ Stop focusing and fixing your “weaknesses” so you can be just like everybody else. Instead, discover, focus on mastering your Strengths and Talents. This is what makes you, YOU. This is your unique gift to the world and these gifts will support you to truly connect and be successful in your life. Build your life around your uniqueness!
√ Create your OWN unique and defined Meaning of Happiness. Life is not a romantic movie with a happily-ever-after ending. People seem to be chasing a fantasy of what they think happiness should look like according to what society has decided. If you had the freedom to choose; what would give you the most fulfilment in your life? What would make your Soul content? Go all-out towards that. Always ask yourself whether your thoughts, decisions or actions, are taking you closer or further away from your OWN version of happiness.
√ You create your OWN Happiness Place. Stop waiting around for the ‘state of affairs’ to be in your favour before you can be happy or take the next step in your life. Stop just allowing life to happen to you. Conditions will never be perfect, so you may wait a long, long, long time. Get into the ACTION of creating your OWN positive situations or make the best of what you’ve got NOW. There is always a solution, it might just not be the one you had in mind at first. “Happiness comes from within YOU, stop trying to find it outside of YOURSELF.”
√ Move away from pursuing external Happiness, such as money, reward, praise, power, status or beauty. They may give you short-term contentment, but it won’t last long. Humans are super adaptable and soon you will need to chase something else in order to revive the happiness-HIGH of instant gratification. Rather focus on what would fulfil you at a basic level. I mean things like mastery, meaning, purpose, fulfillment, authenticity, curiosity and inspiration.
√ Always remind yourself that you are HUMAN. You are not the only human with these problems. Somewhere out there, there are other people experiencing the same challenges you are, or even worse. You are not alone. Stop beating yourself up. Grow from your blunders and keep moving forward. Practice self-compassion. Your life cannot work without YOU in it. So now is the time to move yourself up to the top of your priority to-do list!
YOU are the most important person in your life!
Start loving yourself FIRST!
Change starts with YOU!
The other day, my daughter came to me in despair, big tears sliding down her plump cheeks as she told me, “Mia said I shouldn’t have colored my dolphin blue, because dolphins are actually GRAY, and that made me feel bad!”
She melted into sobs with those last five words: “That made me feel bad.”
LOTS of things have “made me feel bad” in my thirty-five years of life.
I only wish I had learned when I was her age how much power I had to choose my own feelings.
But some things take time to learn, and this is something I’m still mastering. I imagine I always will be.
This is why I’m so drawn to content, from podcasts and blogs to Instagram accounts and paper products, that remind me that I’m the creator of my own happiness—that it’s not my circumstances themselves that determine how I feel but my thoughts about those circumstances.
Happiness is attitude, perspective, and intentionality—not chance.
Each of the nine podcasts I’m sharing here empower me to design my life with intention, instead of letting life happen to me.
In case you need to hear this today, you are the designer of your own life and the creator of your own happiness. I hope these podcasts help you believe this in your core.
9 Podcasts to Help You Create Your Own Happiness (No Matter What Life Hands You)
1. The Life Coach School with Brooke Castillo
I’m just gonna say it: This podcast has changed my life more than almost anything else I’ve consumed in the last decade. (As Monica Gellar would say, “I KNOW!”) Brooke teaches that it’s your thoughts—not your circumstances—that determine your feelings. Because of this, taking a closer look at your thoughts can radically change how you feel. If you want to clean out your mind and change your life from the inside out, this is a must-listen.
Note: There are a LOT of episodes, and with this show more than most, you really need a foundation before you listen to the rest. So I suggest starting at the beginning or at least with this episode: The Self-Coaching Model – A Review.
2. Better Than Happy with Jody Moore
Jody is a master-certified life coach from Brooke’s life coach school, so if you love the podcast above, you’ll love this one too! Each episode is topical and eye-opening and drives home how much control you have over your own happiness—if you just know where to start. (Hint: It all starts with your thoughts!) I also appreciate that Jody laughs at herself often. 😁
3. Awesome with Alison
If you’ve ever come across Alison Faulkner’s fabulousness on Instagram, you’ll immediately know what’s to love about her podcast. She is a BRIGHT ray of sunshine (and PG-13 dance moves 🤣), encouraging us to love ourselves, embrace our awesomeness, and show up in the world with unapologetic authenticity. This is the kind of show that makes you laugh AND cry in almost every episode.
4. Simple Families Podcast with Denaye Barahona
From mindfulness to ditching perfectionism to fitness for you and healthy eating for your family, this podcast covers so many topics that are immediately applicable to moms. Especially if you want to simplify your home and your parenting. Denaye is a charming host and a genuinely good human being. Enjoy!
5. About Progress
Host Monica Packer believes that you don’t need to hate yourself in order to grow, and I couldn’t agree more. ❤️ Monica is one of the most heartfelt hosts I know of. Her show is about progress over perfection; it’s about intentionally choosing to develop yourself while also accepting yourself every step of the way.
6. 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms
I love me a podcast with a tight structure! Host Rachel Nielson asks each of her guests to bring three takeaways her auience can, well, take away(!) from each episode. This structure makes each episode so much easier to apply in your real life as a mom, friend, daughter, and woman showing up in the world.
7. Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Hosted by the bestselling author of The Happiness Project and her sister, Elizabeth Craft, this show has an easygoing pace, like you might expect between two sisters, but it’s filled with really practical tidbits to help you create your own happiness.
8. With Intention, with Desirae Endres
One of my favorite things about this podcast is how real the host is. Desirae never pretends to have it all figured out; she’s like a friend who’s two steps ahead of you on the journey, sharing what she learns along the way. With Intention is a mix of solo episodes and interviews and covers a variety of topics on intention living, from mental health to decluttering to building habits that serve you and more. (Formerly called Minimalish.)
9. Life On Purpose with Erica Layne
What kind of podcaster would I be if I didn’t share my own show?!
Do you tend to get so busy meeting everyone else’s needs that you forget to meet your own? Through this podcast, I want to give you full permission to slow down, let go, invest in yourself, and believe that you are enough just as you are.
Each week, I share one featured message as well as two additional short segments—like a self-care spotlight, a decluttering tip, an “off ramp” (something I see women doing that I’d love for you to QUIT!), and more.
I suggest starting with the trailer (it’s just 3 minutes) to see if the show is a good fit for you, and if it is, please hit subscribe so you never miss an episode!
More from Episode 26 of “Life On Purpose with Erica Layne”
Here’s what else you can hear in the latest episode of the podcast!
- Off ramp: A segment where I point out something I see women doing that I’d love for you to quit! Do you beat yourself up in hopes of making yourself better? In this episode I talk about why this fails—and what to do instead.
- Declutter, De-stress: A 7-Day Challenge to a Lighter, Calmer Home:I’d love to invite you into my 7-day challenge where we’ll tackle one area of your house per day! A surefire practice to help you lighten your mental load!
Listen to the full podcast episode in your favorite podcast app or in the audio player below! And be sure to hit subscribe so future episodes automatically pop up in your podcasts feed!
I hope you’ve found some new material to fill your mind and heart with as you continue creating your own happiness!
PS. Do YOU see listen to any of the podcasts above? Can’t wait to hear!