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How to dance with a girl in a club

This article was co-authored by Hebert Aguilar. Herbert Aguilar is a Professional Dancer, Choreographer, and the Director of Timba Heat Dance Company. With more than a decade of experience, he specializes in performing and teaching dance styles such as Cuban Salsa, Hip-Hop, and Acrobatics. Hebert has performed at a variety of venues and locations including San Francisco, Washington, Hawaii, and Miami.

There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 1,102,921 times.

Going to the club and dancing with a girl may seem daunting for some. It’s loud, space is tight, and no one really knows anyone else. But everyone is there to have some fun and let loose — and this is really the secret of dancing with girls at the club. Just be confident, have some fun, and let loose. If you’re willing to put yourself out there a bit, you’ll have a partner in no time.

Hebert Aguilar
Professional Dancer & Choreographer Expert Interview. 25 October 2021. Simply put yourself next to her and start talking — you’re already ahead of 90% of the other men.

  • If you’re having trouble making conversation, just go out onto the dance floor and start dancing, usually with friends. Again, this just shows the kind of confidence that will make it easier to find women.
  • You will get rejected sometimes — but it is not personal. [2] X Expert Source

    Hebert Aguilar
    Professional Dancer & Choreographer Expert Interview. 25 October 2021. A girl may have a boyfriend, want to be with her friends, or just not feel great. Rejection is inevitable, so move on and find someone else. [3] X Research source

    Hebert Aguilar
    Professional Dancer & Choreographer Expert Interview. 25 October 2021. As you dance, look around for women who are dancing by themselves or in a small group. You don’t want to rush at them, but any women looking for a partner will likely have her eyes up as well.

    • If you’re uncomfortable dancing, just sway back and forth with the rhythm of the drums. Lift each arm individually with the beat and keep your joints loose and relaxed. You’ll blend right in.
    • If a woman is with a group of friends, dodges eye contact, or seems busy with another man, just move on. Plenty of people go to clubs to find someone to dance with, so don’t waste everyone’s time chasing a girl who doesn’t want the attention.

    Women love to dance, and the misconception is that men think they have to be amazing dancers to get the attention of a woman. Being a good dancer is like being a good communicator, and the key message of your dance is to convey positive meanings to the woman you’re interested in.

    Ask yourself, “What do I want to convey to a woman when dancing with her?” If you’re clueless, then that’s what your dance moves will look like. Jumbled, confused, and awkward. Instead, be confident within your limitations and do something as simple as a two-step to begin. There are numerous resources on YouTube to assist you in finding a basic move.

    Another alternative is to find a dance studio and get instruction. Each club has music that caters to a style of dance whether it’s hip-hop, salsa, EDM, or whichever. Depending on which one you prefer, you can take classes to learn the style of dance and try it out next time you’re there.

    Once you already have the moves down, it’s time to start meeting some beautiful women. Women don’t normally dance alone in a standard top 40s club, and they’re usually in a group. This is a perfect opportunity to move in and get in.

    It’s best to dance around the group without appearing to want any attention. Keep a smile on your face, as the hope is that you’re genuinely having fun. The moment you see one of the girls smile at you, smile back. Eye contact is key, be sure to look in the eyes, but don’t stare. Keep dancing near them, as most likely one of them will leave an invitation to join.

    Keep dancing with each girl in the group in the best way you know how, as eventually they’ll get tired. It’s at this point where you make introductions and get to know everyone.

    Still feeling nervous about trying out your new moves or want to familiarize yourself with the club scene? Join a bootcamp for some real infield practice and club experience with a coach by your side and you too will be ‘tearing up the rug’ like a pro in no time!

    Ok my problem is not looks, i;m ok looking.

    Its simply confidence, and knowing what to do.

    So last week there were 2 girls, and one of them was blatantly giving me the eye.
    I just didn’t know “how” to initiate a dance with her, where to touch, whether to start grinding immediately etc.

    don’t grope them too much either.

    (Original post by benjamin4572)
    Ok my problem is not looks, i;m ok looking.

    Its simply confidence, and knowing what to do.

    So last week there were 2 girls, and one of them was blatantly giving me the eye.
    I just didn’t know “how” to initiate a dance with her, where to touch, whether to start grinding immediately etc.

    it’s simple really –

    step 1: catch her eye then howl so she knows your interested
    step 2: get closer by humping your way towards her, this draws attention to your penis
    step 3: now you are within striking distance remove her friends by kicking them in the shins then rolling them away
    step 4: you are now alone and free to dance with your new female, if all goes well this will in turn lead to coitus in the club toilets

    simplicity is wonderful

    plus i dont complain when guys do it to me

    (Original post by _s_c_o_u_t_)
    simplicity is wonderful

    plus i dont complain when guys do it to me

    (Original post by kayzy)
    it’s simple really –

    step 1: catch her eye then howl so she knows your interested
    step 2: get closer by humping your way towards her, this draws attention to your penis
    step 3: now you are within striking distance remove her friends by kicking them in the shins then rolling them away
    step 4: you are now alone and free to dance with your new female, if all goes well this will in turn lead to coitus in the club toilets

    It’s honestly all about the eyes

    Single life can be complicated sometimes. What if you don’t want to go on any dates, you’re not really arsed about Tinder, but you kind of want a quick snog with a stranger? Well, that’s what clubs were made for, and this guide on how to pull in a club will mean you’re guaranteed to get kissed quick.

    Turns out it’s not about the music, or spending time with your friends. Let’s be real, we’re all here for the same thing. We all want to pull.

    But that doesn’t mean you can just walk into the club like “what up I gotta big cock” and everyone will be all over you, no sir. Having a good game is essential.

    Enter the Disappointed Girls. We’re here to help you, with our tried and tested pulling methods. And if you follow our advice, you will not be left lonely on the dance floor.

    They both read this article clearly

    Give them the sexy eyes

    It’s all about the eye contact. If you see someone you fancy, shoot them the sexiest eyes you can and you’ll quickly know if you’re in luck. Once you’ve got the eyes back your way, it’s just a case of maintaining it, with the occasional bashful look away. When you look away, do a sexy dance or laugh with your friends so you look like you’re having a really fun time and you don’t really need them, but always flash them the look back again so they know you might not need them, but you definitely want them. Alice, 22

    Eye contact is the way. Lock eyes from across the bar, flash a smile and the boy is yours. Turn away, have a laugh with your girls and then look back at them so they know you’re game. They’re bound to come over but don’t turn around too quick, play it cool, you know the drill. If you’re feeling really flirty, mention you want a drink and take the excuse to grab their hand as you walk to the bar. Then the ball is in your court . Grace, 21

    Try to get them dancing with you alone

    If you’re in a group dancing with all your friends and there’s a certain someone you fancy, try to get yourself next to them, without making it super obvious – don’t just make a beeline and hope for the best. Once you’re in the prime spot next to them, try to get physical contact. Bump into them a little bit (not like you’re a clumsy dancer, but like there’s not enough space and you’re sexy hips just won’t quit) and try holding their hand for some one-on-one dancing. You’ll soon know if they’re as into it as you are. Chloe, 19

    Bump. And. Grind. You find me any guy who doesn’t want a girl’s ass pressing up on his dick, I dare you. He’ll be yours in no time. Alesha, 20

    Get them in a one-on-one conversation

    If you’re a smoker, get them into the smoking area for a chat, just the two of you. You can get some good flirty banter in somewhere you can actually hear each other. When you head back inside, grab their hand as you go through the crowd and then you’ve already got the physical contact and can easily do some sexy dancing with them once you’re back on the dance floor. Alex, 21

    If you can shoot some witty banter their way (but keep it flirty – you don’t want to end up in the friend zone) you’ll have their attention in no time. Maybe even make a joke about fancying them, laugh, but then look right at them. If that’s not an invitation to kiss you then I don’t know what is. Holly, 21

    “SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MEGHAN AND WES ON LOVE ISLAND . “

    Get them to buy you a drink

    Find the guy you like across the dance floor then wait to see when he goes to the bar. There you can chat and be super flirty, and they’ll probably buy you a drink. After that they won’t be able to stop looking at you. Tara, 24

    Buy them a drink

    Whoever said the boy has to be the one to buy the drink? I always impress a man with my independence and bring him a drink so he knows who’s boss. Charlotte, 23

    It was the rum and coke what did it

    Wear something you feel confident in

    Whether you wear a next-to-nothing sexy outfit, or just a t-shirt and your favourite jeans, if you’re confident in what you’re wearing, your personality will shine through and everyone will be drawn to you. Confidence is irresistible! Ellie, 22

    I always pull when I wear as little as possible to be honest. Boys can’t resist a bit of booby on show and they know what you’re there for. Why send mixed messages? Get the job done. Melissa, 19

    Sexy perfume is key if you want to brush up close to someone to entice them. When a human likes a smell they’re drawn to it. It’s biology and it works. Trust me. Zara, 23

    She does look good tbf

    Make them jealous

    Once you’ve made eyes at someone and you’ve clocked that they’re interested, but they’re just not coming over to make the move, start dancing with someone else. Sexually. They’ll realise what they’re missing and come over to dance with you in a flash. Louise, 20

    She made him jealous and now he’s come running back

    Just ask

    Literally walk up to them and say I fancy you let’s do this. If they fancy you back you’ll blow them away with your confidence. If they don’t fancy you, then, well, fuck em. Annabel, 22

    Other articles this writer would recommend:

    Let me get this out of the way: I love both going to the club (dancing and music are great!) and dudes (they’re so cute!). But dudes absolutely ruin the club. There’s a reason ladies often get in for free or cheap: Both dudes and non-dudes are happier when the dude ratio is lower. Just a small sampling of things that have happened to me in the club: A dude put my hand on his boner and said, “You did this.” A dude threw his drink on me when I ignored him. A dude I was actually dancing with whispered, “Are you on birth control?” A dude started waving (a laughably paltry amount of) money in my face when I said I wasn’t interested. And I’ve lost count of how many dudes have grabbed various parts of my body without anything remotely close to my say-so.

    You will notice a commonality here in the doers of these actions. Sure, those are extremely insane things that you would (I hope) never do, but there’s a million other smaller ways dudes make the club stressful and shitty, mostly by hitting on girls when we really, really are just there to dance. But I know: The girls are so hot, and there’s so many of them, and they look so good while they’re dancing, and you want to do it with them! Well, if you insist on bugging us, here’s some rules you can follow to keep things chill and fun for everybody.

    Have another reason to be there. The club is for dancing and having a good time with your friends. And yeah, sure, people of all genders go there in the hopes of hooking up. But if that’s the only reason you’re there, you’re leeching off of the good energy the fun-havers are putting out there and bumming everybody out.

    Don’t lurk. A lot of dudes will just loom near girls who are dancing, seemingly in hopes of eventually touching or talking to us. Stop that, dude: You’re killing our vibe. Even putting aside the truly important consideration of our vibe, it is totally antithetical to your goal of seeming attractive and cool. No girl has ever been like, “Ooh, see that guy lurking over there? Yeah, girl, the lurk-y one. Wish he’d lurk around in my bedroom, if you catch my drift.”

    Wait for her signal. This is some “best practices” shit that I know you’re not gonna follow, but if she thinks you’re cute, she’ll make eye contact and maybe smile a little. “But,” you protest, “if I only hit on girls who clearly want me to, then I’ll never get to hit on any girls.” Hmmm. Maybe let that one marinate for a few.

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    Approach from the front. I hope this seems insane to you, dear reader, but there are dudes in the club who will sort of dance behind girls, inching closer and closer in a hopeful manner until they are “dancing with” you. I don’t quite get what the thought process behind this maneuver is, if they think it’s like a frog in boiling water, and we won’t notice it happening since it’s so gradual, and then once they’re dancing with us, we’ll just have to be like, “Oh, I guess this is my new life, this is fine”? Sorry, but that is not a thing. Don’t sneak up on us. Pretend like we’re horses. I mean, not generally, just if for some reason you need help remembering not to approach us from the back (weirdo).

    Say hi and introduce yourself. Normal human stuff. Don’t do any pickup-artist shit, like vaguely insult our hair or ask us a “zany” question or whatever. We’re onto you, and we hate it.

    Offer to buy her a drink. It’s not a bribe—it’s a good-faith gesture demonstrating that you respect the value of her time. (Equality, shmequality—we’re all adults, so let’s not pretend we don’t know whose time is more valuable here.)

    See if she’d like to dance. This is the fun part! If you don’t dance, why are you at the club? Go use Tinder , dude.

    Hands off, Handsy. Definitely never start an interaction by touching or grabbing her. And I want to tell you that once you’re dancing, and she’s throwing off major vibes, touching her waist or whatever is cool, but I don’t trust you, so keep your hands to yourself unless you’re sure. Are you sure you’re sure? Also, even if you’re touching her and she’s cool with it, don’t get greedy and grab around all willy-nilly. That’s for home, or maybe the cab.

    Respect. The. Curve. This is by far the most important thing on the list, and if it was followed rigorously, the club would be basically a chill utopia. Here are some examples of curves you should respect:

    * “I have a boyfriend.” This is very possibly a lie, but that’s not your business, and don’t pull that “you can’t have friends?” shit. She is telling you to go away; don’t be obtuse. (One time, a guy tried to make me show him pictures of my [imaginary] boyfriend on my phone to prove my [imaginary] boyfriend was real. That is crazy and not a thing you should do.)

    * Avoiding eye contact.

    * Going to the bar to get a drink and not coming back.

    * Being very absorbed in her phone.

    * Any form of “no” or “not interested.”

    Here’s what respecting the curve means: Be cool and leave her alone. You’re not going to talk her into liking you, and you’re making her night shitty for no reason. (If you can’t handle rejection without getting pushy or upset, please don’t talk to girls until you’ve been in therapy for awhile.) And even if she’s been dancing and flirting with you, she still has the right to curve you at any time, including after you’ve left the club.

    Respect the cockblock, too. Female friendship is real as hell, and our friends are, with rare exceptions, on our team. They want us to get it on with someone cool as much as we do, so if her friends are intercepting you to dance up on her themselves or dragging her off somewhere, chances are your presence is unwanted, and she’s made it known. Our girls are our secret weapons against creepers, not jealous haters trying to keep us from the D.

    If she’s really drunk, just don’t. I hope I don’t have to explain this one. If she’s super drunk and super feeling you, that’s great—get her number and text her when she’s sobered up. And if you’re really drunk, go home. Chances are you’re being obnoxious, your vibe-reading abilities have been dampened, and you’re not feeling the social inhibition necessary for a civil society.

    Have fun! I know dudes are reading this thinking I’m a hater, but I really do believe that consensual club flirting is a beautiful thing, and I partake all the time. Flirting should be fun—it’s not an adversarial process unless you make it one. Don’t treat us like bodyguards who are trying to keep you from having sex with us. We are us. So help us help you have a good time with us.

    Lily Benson lives in Massachusetts and tweets from the club @lil_mermaid .

    Image by Tara Jacoby.

    Adequate Man is Deadspin’s new self-improvement blog, dedicated to making you just good enough at everything. Suggestions for future topics are welcome below.

    Here’s the setting:

    I’m at a popular nightclub, and on the main dance floor there’s a girl who is dancing with her friends; they seem to be having a great time and her body language, e.g. her dance moves, I would interpret as her being comfortable with getting attention and being approached, if the guy were respectful or is a good dancer himself.

    The question is:

    Now, if she doesn’t obviously seem to be paired off with anyone else, i.e. she may not have a “date” for the night or a significant other, how could I ask her whether she would like to dance with me?

    Some context:

    The music in the club is usually Top 40, R&B, Hip Hop, and electronic.

    Motivation for the question:

    I’ve seen mostly aggressive and creepy approaches – in particular, drunk guys just going up to girls and dancing right behind them, aka “grinding”, and often initiating unwanted physical contact, e.g. putting their hands around a woman’s waist.

    So, I’m wondering whether there’s a better and more respectful way of asking a girl to dance.

    Some obvious difficulties:

    The music is loud, and the dance floor is crowded with people, on a busy night.

    7 Answers 7

    I happen to be a girl, so I’m writing the answer below based on what I liked in the approaches that worked for me and what I observed in the other ones.

    The key here is respect.

    As the other answers said, approach the girl from the front, not invading her personal space. Make eye contact with her, refrain from scanning her body or other plainly sexual attitudes. Enjoy the moment of dancing with her. Your face and body language should tell “I’m here to have fun and dance, do you want to do it with me?” and not, like the guys you mentioned, “You look like a fine piece of meat, I want to have sex with you so let’s jump at that part”.

    I think that the first contact between the two of you should be nonverbal: at first just let the girl see you and make up her mind about you. If she rejects you after this approach (for example she turns her back or dances away), do not insist too much: trying another time to dance with her (always in a respectful manner etc) it’s OK, if you didn’t understand well what her message for you was, but no more than that.

    It’s also important to accept the rejection in a good way: she’s only telling you that she’s OK in dancing by herself and NOT expressing a judgment on your person. I’m telling this because there are lots of guys in clubs who act offended if the girl rejects them, as if it was their right to dance with them.

    If she communicates with her body language that she’s ok to dance with you, you can start a conversation with her about whatever topic you want.

    Since the OP is asking for some perspective from the POV of a girl, I’ll give mine more specifically here. Just personal view here.

    I didn’t like much when the approach of a guy in a club was verbal. It boils down on either asking the girl to dance with him or telling something unrelated to it. I didn’t like the question because it didn’t give me the time to make up an opinion about the guy (OK, more a feeling than a proper opinion), who entered my visual field a second before. I didn’t like the other option either because I felt like the guy was awkwardly beating around the bush. Moreover, the dancefloor is not the best place to have a talk, where you have to scream for everything so saying “DO YOU LIKE VIRGINIA WOOLF?” may not be the best move.

    If we’re on a dancefloor, well, let’s dance. If we have fun dancing together, we could enjoy a drink together, or we could just keep dancing and that would be great as well.

    If you’re planning a night out, you may be wondering what exactly you should do if you want to be sure to meet someone new, a potential casual dating partner.

    That’s okay, it’s something that makes most people nervous! While dating apps have taken over the world, you still have great chances of finding a date on a night out. Before you spend your night chatting on a hookup site like SPdate, then consider heading out to the club instead after you’ve read our tips. Here’s our guide to meeting someone new in the club and hooking up.

    What to do to meet someone

    There are so many options that are always open to you. Here are just a few:

    1. Look around. You may think that everyone is looking at each other, or looking to hook up, but just as many people are looking for something completely different. Don’t give up just because you don’t see someone to talk to right away, because you never know what you’ll discover.

    Go around and look for someone interesting, try to get closer to them. Look for those that seem interested in talking, or who are at the club alone, or maybe a group of friends. Sometimes just starting a conversation can do the trick!

    2. Ask someone to dance If you’re looking to talk to a specific person, or maybe just introduce yourself, dancing is a great way to do so! Dance together.

    How to keep the conversation going

    Before you even think about meeting someone, you need to find a seat that’s not too hot or too cold. You don’t want to look like you’re sweating from your forehead (after all you are in a club).

    The idea is to talk to as many people as possible to get a good conversation going. For this you’ll need to have a lot of energy. You can’t get nervous when you’re new to the club scene so you have to pretend that you’re already comfortable with the environment.

    If you are lucky, you will be able to approach somebody attractive or you will at least get a chance to chat to the bartender or the bouncer. They will be the ones who can tell you if there are any single guys and girls there and that’s where you can start a conversation. At that point, you might have to get lucky with some sweet talk.

    How to meet and chat with people

    Get a drink or some snacks and set up at a table in the middle of the club at a table.

    Pick a group activity like dancing, line-dancing or game playing to get everyone to mingling.

    Talk to strangers. Ask them to join in on a game or activity and watch for those with similar interests.

    Look for a cute guy or girl with a nice smile or a party girl.

    Hug a few people as you walk through the club.

    Talk with people who seem friendly or interested in talking.

    Have someone watch your stuff as you dance.

    Do what the group is doing and chat with anyone you like.

    Do what you usually do when you’re at a club and watch everyone. Sometimes people get chatty when you start to just watch.

    Do something. Anything. Don’t sit in one place or you’ll probably get ignored. Do not ignore people.

    How to ensure you are not being too forward

    If you’ve ever been to a club or an event and come across a guy who caught your eye but then realized he is on the market, the embarrassment might have prompted you to swipe right fast so he can swipe left.

    We have some thoughts on this: remember you’re out with your friends and in a social environment. For people in long distance relationships (L.D.s) or just living in different cities, this is very hard for you to do in person.

    If you get too caught up on trying to impress someone you come across and you come off as being too forward, this can mean an uncomfortable silence that can last for the rest of the night.

    Instead, as we’ve talked about before, open yourself up and be vulnerable and ask them if they want to chat. More often than not, they will.

    How to find the right person at the right moment

    When you’re in a club, you have to do a lot of work. One good method is to meet with your friends, talk and gossip, make good plans.

    But when you find the right person for the moment, you have to be able to send a strong signal to your friend.

    One way to do this is to introduce your friend to a person you like, or a friend of a friend, or anyone you know. This is something you can do after you meet, with a little planning on how you approach the situation.

    How to be attractive

    Of course, you have to approach girls in the club. So the best way is to look good. You can’t just wear a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. It should be stylish, in good shape, and not so low cut. You also have to smell good. In the club, you have to be able to stand out.

    Conclusion

    When looking to meet someone in the club, you need to make sure that you’re confident, comfortable, and looking your best. Most of all, you need to go out and try to meet someone.

    You never know what amazing stories you’re going to get and what amazing people you’re going to meet. Have fun, play it safe, and go out and meet someone!

    Clubs are great. The music, the dancing and, of course, the girls. But a lot of men can leave feeling demoralized if they strike out consistently all night. We’ve all been there before. What you might not know, however, is that there are simple, straightforward ways to approach women and build attraction every time. Try this approach next time you’re figuring out how to pick up a girl at a club and see your batting average improve.

    The Right Approach

    Attraction and picking up girls doesn’t begin when you first talk to her. It begins before that with your approach. In fact, your approach begins from the second she sees you. This is why you should always have a solid smile (with your whole face, not just your eyes) and good posture, both of which project friendliness and confidence.

    When you do see a girl that you want to approach at a club, do it right away. Take a couple of seconds, man up and approach her with the most confident posture possible.

    Opening the Conversation

    What to say after you approach a girl – how to pick up a girl at a club? We here at The Art of Charm are big believers in starting out with playful, content-free banter. Something jokey that opens up the conversation and gets her interested in talking to you more.

    The trick here is not to get the girl at the club to fall in love with you based on the first thing that you say. You’re not looking for the perfect pickup line. On the contrary, you just want something that’s going to make her smile and get her interested in what you have to say next.

    Remember to commit to whatever it is. Try and take the conversation to its silly extreme. It will get her smiling, get her interested and keep the conversation going.

    When and How to Show Interest

    Eventually, you’re going to have to get more serious. The best way to do that when you’re trying to pick up a girl at a club is to be very simple, but also very straightforward about it. Say something to her like “You seem pretty cool” or “I dig you.”

    Short, quick and to the point. That’s what you’re going for. If you want, throw in some compliment about anything other than her appearance (she already knows that you’re attracted to her, she wants to know that you’re also interested in who she is as a person) and you’re going to be good to go.

    Getting to Know Her

    Once you’ve done that, you two can start getting to know each other better. The best way to do this is to use open-ended questions. This gives her room to talk as much or as little as she wants. For example, asking her what she does for a living has a very definite (and short) answer. On the other hand, asking her what she likes about what she does for a living, or what she would do if money were no object, is a much longer answer — one that keeps the conversational ball rolling and makes you look more interesting.

    Bridging the Touch Barrier

    Here’s an inside tip that a lot of men are missing out on: Touch. Shoulders, upper back, arms and hands are all “safe” places that you can touch a woman. This creates a sense of intimacy between the two of you, and don’t be surprised if she starts touching you back.

    When your significant other goes out to a club/bar – How would you clarify the boundaries of dancing with another woman? And by dancing, I am speaking about the freak/grinding type? Am i being too jealous – ??

    You’re being jealous. I understand, because I feel that way too. But when I go to the club and dance; I don’t think anything about it, most of the time I’m wishing my boyfriend was there (when I’m involved). You can’t really make boundaries because dancing involves two people so it depends on the person he’s dancing with a lot.

    As long as he doesn’t kiss anyone it should be okay.

    You could always go with him =)

    Just let him know you love him and you’ll miss him. Don’t give him a hard time because it could agitate him. If you have reason not to trust him, then maybe sit him down and talk about it.

    If you cannot let go this feeling I suggest you should talk to your boyfriend. You should let him know that him dancing with other women makes you feel uncomfortable.

    I guess it really depends on a guy though. I watched many guys going to clubs and dancing a lot, but not approaching any girls. Your man could be that type.

    However, I was unlucky. My ex used to go clubbing quite a lot. We switched to a long-distance relationship for two months because I had to move out to other country. That time he was going out a few times a week with his friends. He was swearing that he goes there just to dance and relax after studying hard. I chose to trust him, and never asked anything about his nights out.

    When I came to visit him I found out that he actually had slept with some of those girls who appeared on his Facebook photos from the club nights. (I unintentionally saw his correspondence with a friend where he was discussing details of his adventures)
    I couldn’t believe this! He was also telling his friend that the way one chick was dancing made him so excited that he keeps thinking of having sex with her for already a week, that he tried to approach her, but she seemed to play games. He was even asking an opinion of his friend about this chick and if he thought she looked ***** enough to be easy to have sex with him.

    Well, it’s just my unlucky experience.
    I’m sorry that I might put you into panic.
    But really it kinda taught me it’s never innocent if a guy dances with other women a lot.

    Talk to your boyfriend and set your rules about it.
    You have right not to feel happy about it.

    Do you want to know how to approach a girl at a club?

    And do you also want to know how to get her home?

    Today is your lucky day because this is the most comprehensive guide on this topic that has ever been written. This is the ultimate step-by-step instruction to open, talk, dance with, and pickup girls in this loud environment.

    Why did I decide to write this guide?

    Because I sucked in clubs!

    My game was solid…but only in broad daylight. My nightgame was terrible. I tried the exact same approach that worked on the streets of Berlin and London…and I failed.

    How about you? Did you also try to use daygame at night?

    You can admit it. It’s okay. I’ve done it so many times and I failed every single time. Eventually, I learned why getting girls in clubs is so different and how to do it WITHOUT alcohol and WITHOUT stupid pickup lines.

    Here’s what you’ll learn today:

    That’s only the tip of the iceberg.

    Let’s uncover the rest of the iceberg that’s swimming in the deep overpriced Martini glass…

    How to Get Girls at the Club: The Basics

    Approaching girls at the club is not that hard.

    But you have to understand a few basic rules. Unfortunately, a lot of guys mess up before they even leave the house. They prepare…but preparing the wrong way can also lead to failure. And not understanding club dynamics leads to even more failure.

    Do you want to fail? No?

    Then have a look at the following key principles…

    1. Barney Stinson Style Beats Ed Hardy Style

    Okay, I have to admit it.

    It’s not that bad anymore. Ten years ago it has been worse. I don’t know about the USA, but in Germany every second moron was hitting the club in an Ed Hardy T-shirt. My friends and I loved to play “idiot spotting”. Ahh, good times.

    Maybe Ed Hardy has been replaced by some other fad.

    I’m sure there’s some style everyone has nowadays…just like the Hitler Youth Haircut. Avoid it. Don’t be another clone for the army. Clubs are chaotic environments and if you look like all the other minions, you won’t get laid.

    Instead, show that you have class.

    You don’t have to run around like Barney Stinson, but the following style is perfect:

    Look different and better and you’ll get different and better results.

    2. Her Arrogance is Insecurity in Disguise

    “It’s so hard to pick up girls at clubs…”

    I heard it so many times. Skype coaching clients told me it’s impossible. Then I gave them a step-by-step guide and they did it. My one-on-one coaching clients told me it’s not doable. Then I went to the club with them and we did it.

    I just had to help them to overcome THIS limiting belief:

    Party girls are arrogant!

    Here’s the truth:

    Some of them are, but most of them aren’t. Most of them are the opposite of arrogant. They are insecure and loaded with daddy issues. They just pretend to be arrogant. It’s a mask they put on. It keeps the “whooo” coming out of their mouth and the tears behind their eyes.

    Arrogance protects fragile hearts.

    You can’t change the fact that this environment wants them to act arrogant. But you can change the way you look at these girls and see them as the insecure human beings they are.

    Come on. You can talk to a human being.

    3. The Competition Doesn’t Sleep (Literally)

    I hate staying up late.

    That’s why I tend to schedule the nightgame session for the last day of every coaching. Most men don’t seem to have this problem. Approaching girls during the day is easy because nobody else does it. There’s not competition.

    What about picking up girls at clubs?