Getting out of the Friend Zone
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Most guys know the pain of the “friend-zone” all too well. But once you know how to start dating a friend you won’t have to suffer that pain any longer. To learn how to turn those platonic friendships into something more intimate, check out the following tips on how to start dating a friend.
Plant the seed
One reason a guy might get stuck in the “friend zone” is because the girl simply has no clue he’s interested in her. And if he’s the type of guy who doesn’t date much or talk openly about his dating life, she may not see you as being particularly interested in dating women at all. If that’s the case an important step when looking at how to start dating a friend is getting the girl to see you in a different light.
What you want is to get the girl to see you as a sexual being with your own wants and desires. How do you do this? By sprinkling in comments about sex and dating into your conversation. Using sexual innuendo for example, will bring sex into the conversation in a fun, playful way. You can also ask her about her dating life and openly talk about your own. Just be sure to keep the conversation light (otherwise you risk become her “therapist”) and positive (i.e. no complaining about your dating life). Talking about your dating life and how none of the girls you’ve met have measured up can then be your segue to expressing your desire to date her.
Increase the sexual tension
A key part of learning how to start dating a friend is learning how to increase sexual tension. That means touching the girl more and more during your conversations. You can start light, by just tapping her elbow and shoulder, and slowly work your way up to resting your hand for longer periods of time on her shoulder, back, leg, etc.
Doing this is going to help you for a few reasons: First, it gets the girl more comfortable with physical contact from you. Secondly, touch releases chemicals in the brain that makes her feel good. As a result she’ll not only feel better when she’s around you, but she’ll begin to crave your touch more and more.
Going for the kiss
Invite the girl over and watch a movie. At the beginning, just look to cuddle with her. Cuddling is no big deal and probably something she’d enjoy, so it’s a safe first step. As time goes on start to stroke her hair, lightly rub her thigh, etc. As the tension builds turn towards her and make eye contact. If she holds that eye contact, slowly lean in for the kiss, stopping when you’re a few inches away. If she doesn’t pull back and continues looking at your eyes or your lips, she’s ready for you to kiss her.
Guys who want to learn how to start dating a friend often want to know how to ask the girl out without making it seem like a date. Don’t be one of these guys. If you want a date, ask for it. Invite her out – just the two of you – for drinks, dancing, a trip to the zoo… whatever (for more on what to do on the first date, read this). Be clear and let her know it’s an actual date. Doing so shows you’re a confident man who goes after what he wants, which is going to make you that much more attractive.
After seeing you as “just a friend” for so long it may take her a while to wrap her head around the idea of dating you. So if she’s not immediately into it, know that any hesitation may simply be part of the process. She’s got to get used to this new way of seeing you.
If you try the tips above and she doesn’t go for the date or doesn’t want to be kissed, just take it in stride. Let her know it’s perfectly okay if she doesn’t feel the same way at that moment. If you can let her react however she reacts without being fazed, you’re going to come across as incredibly confident and much more attractive. Then as she becomes more familiar with the idea of dating you, she’ll be more inclined to give it a shot.
Date other women
Learning how to start dating a friend isn’t just about learning what to say and do in your interactions with this girl. It’s about showing her that you are the high-value guy she’s been looking for all along. And one way to do this is to continue dating other women.
Actively dating other women is going to help you in a few ways. First, it’s going to get the girl to see you in that dating/boyfriend role. This gives her the chance to imagine what it’d be like if she was that girl by your side. Second, it’ll keep you busy and enjoying your life. By not being so dependent on whether or not that friend wants to date you, you’re going to avoid “needy” behaviors and naturally come across as confident and attractive. Finally, it lets her see that this window may close. It gives her incentive to act soon, before she loses her chance.
If all you want is to date this girl then don’t settle for being just friends. You don’t want to become the guy sticking around as “plan B” – waiting there while she dates guy after guy. This might pay-off in the movies, but in real life? Not so much. Cutting her loose completely, rather than enduring a friendship you don’t enjoy, is going to make you much happier in the long run. It’ll also be a great test. It gives her the chance to see just how different her life is when you’re not in it. She may discover just how much value you added to her life, and start looking for ways to get you back.
How to learn more
If you found these tips on how to start dating a friend helpful, then be sure to follow the Art of Charm on Facebook. That way you can stay updated on the latest podcasts and articles filled with tips and advice for taking your dating life to the next level.
Falling in love with your best friend really is one of the greatest things that can happen to a person. However, at the start of a relationship between best friends there may be concerns over the risk to the friendship you share. If the relationship doesn’t work out, many friends worry that they would no longer be able to have a friendship. You have to decide if you want to take the risk of taking your relationship further, if you are willing to work at your relationship then it can be worth that risk.
Of course there is no guarantee that just because this person is your best friend that you will be the perfect couple, break ups do happen and this is often the worry for friends who want to take their relationship further. You have to make sure that becoming a couple really is what you both want; once this decision is made there is no turning back.
What if you break up?
If the worst was to happen, would you still be able to be friends with the person? It is a difficult question to answer, but if you really do have a strong friendship then the answer to this question should be yes. Of course there is always the chance that your relationship will end badly and you simply won’t be able to remain friends anymore. You both have to decide if you want the relationship between you to change badly enough that it out weighs that risk.
How is dating a friend different?
Dating a close friend is completely different from dating someone that you hardly know. In most relationships the first few weeks or months are really spend doing nothing more than getting to know each other. When you are dating your best friend you will already know most everything about one another, so you bypass this stage altogether.
Of course, knowing someone so well is also a good thing, you already know what each other likes to do so planning your dates will be a lot easier. There will not be any of the usual awkward getting to know you dinners, you will also already know that you enjoy spending time together and likely have similar interests.
The trick is when dating your best friend, not to rush into anything. Make sure that it is in fact what you both want, and remember that just because you know each other well as friends doesn’t mean that you know each other as partners. There are still things that you will have to learn about each other, like any other relationship communication is key.
Your relationship will change
Be prepared for the change in your relationship, not just with each other but with those around you. Some people may think it strange that after such a long time being friends you suddenly decide to date, don’t be put off by this it is simply other people adjusting to the change in your relationship. Keep people informed so that they do not think that you have been secretly hiding your relationship from them, as this is a common thought when friends start dating and can make people think that they are not important to you or you would have told them sooner.
At some points in our lives, it is inevitable to fall in love with a friend and want to date them. Dating friend is rather tricky. If you are looking for some practical tips on how to date a friend, then you are at the right place because here we will show you tried and true tricks on dating friend. Use these tips from Wikiyeah.com and you will be able to create the attraction in love soon.
How To Date A Friend Without Ruining The Friendship
1. Give Them Your Attention
This is considered as one of the most basic tips on how to date a friend. Let that friend know that you like them and pay much more attention to them than to anyone else. It will show that you are really interested in getting to know that person better, and concurrently, it also helps to bring the two of you closer.
However, always keep in mind that giving them your attention does not necessarily mean that you always have to accept what they say. Keep your own points of view, yet still let that person know that you respect them by giving your undivided attention. [Read: how to show your love]
2. Flirt With Friends
The tip above might sounds vague at the beginning, yet you need to create chemistry before moving into another step. Friends do not really flirt, if they could not look at a certain friend as a potential partner. Thus, to know how to date a friend, you should warm them up to begin flirting with you. One of the best manners to begin flirting with friend is to smile and get blushed. When you like someone really, it will come naturally. Yet, smiling as well as blushing automatically will create an ideal atmosphere for those flirty conversations. [You may want to read: how to seduce a woman or girl]
Sometimes, the line between friendship and romance is a little blurry. You spend a lot of time together, you care about each other вЂ” but is it actually a good idea to date a friend? On the one hand, you could ruin the friendship, but on the other hand, you already have a strong foundation for something more. And sometimes, that’s a great thing.
“Dating a good friend is often a good idea,” relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW tells Bustle. “Relationships based in friendship already have a solid base.” That being said, it’s always going to be a risk, so if you’re thinking about dating a friend, then it’s important to be sure that you’re ready for the consequences.
It’s important to remember that the criteria for friendship doesn’t always line up to the criteria you have for someone you want to be in a relationship with. “The best way to tell if you are better off as friends is [asking yourself] how much you respect their values,” life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle. “We can be friends with a lot of people with varying values, but it’s totally different when you start dating them.”
Still, if they seem to tick all of the boxes and the chemistry is there, then it may be something to consider. Here’s what love experts say you should know before you date a good friend.
It Can Be Awkward AF At First
The first time you go on a “date” or even have sex with someone you’ve been friends with for a long time, it can feel a little awkward. It may take some time, but if you can’t seem to get used to having a romantic dynamic you should pay attention to that.
“I think that if you are more comfortable just hanging out with a person than when you are on a date, the friendship card might be too strong to ignore,” Rob Alex, who created Sexy Challenges and Mission Date Night with his wife, tells Bustle. “If you feel different when you are on an official date with this person, it is time to step back and figure out if your friendship with them is more valuable than a possible romantic relationship.”
Senior Lifestyle Reporter, HuffPost
We all have that one perpetually single friend who keeps striking out in their dating life, despite being an amazing person.
It’s frustrating to watch because you just know there’s someone out there who’s worthy of them, if only they could find that person.
If you feel bummed out over the situation, just imagine how burned out they’re feeling about the whole thing.
In these dire Tinder times, chances are your friend could use a little encouragement ― and maybe a little outside help in finding someone decent. That’s where you come in. Below, dating experts share six tips for becoming the best wing-person possible for your bestie.
1. Set them up with someone who’s just as amazing as they are.
You might not be able to save your friend from dating another fuckboy, ghoster or commitment-phobe, but you can set them up with people you think have potential.
Scout for your friend: Get some intel on that cute guy at the office who always opens the door for everyone. Think about friends you have in other circles who might be your friend’s type. Once you’ve zeroed in on a few people, get busy making intros, said Lori Zaslow, a Manhattan-based dating coach and matchmaker.
“The great thing here is that you can build them up to the person you’re setting them up with and help establish a positive vibe before they even meet,” she told HuffPost. “That will give your friend more confidence walking in the door versus that awkward feeling of a first date with a total stranger.”
2. Focus on listening more than lending advice.
Don’t lend your friend the same tired advice they’ve heard a million times before: “There are plenty of fish in the sea” or “You’re a great person, so just be yourself!” Also, don’t assume whatever you did to meet your S.O. will work for them; falling in love isn’t prescriptive. We all take different paths.
As well-intentioned as your advice may be, what your friend needs most is for you to listen. You need a sounding board ― or a good therapist ― after your umpteenth bad Tinder date.
“In general, I’d say avoid unsolicited advice and canned platitudes, which can make your friend feel frustrated and invalidated,” said Jessica Engle, a psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay area. “Instead, focus on listening and empathizing; offer solutions and feedback only if requested directly.”
3. If the red flags are mounting up, say something.
We’re all guilty of slipping on rose-colored glasses when we meet someone who seems good on paper. The problem is, those rosy sunnies make red flags all but impossible to see. If you sense that something’s off with your friend’s new S.O. ― they’re quick to fits of anger or already seem disinterested in your pal ― offer some real talk, said Kimberly Seltzer, a dating coach and the owner of Elite Image Makeovers.
“Often friends see red flags right when they meet a potential match, but they may not say anything in fear of hurting them,” she said. “Be honest. Let the friend know about the concerns and tell them how that person might not be as good of a match for them as they think.”
In This Article
“Let’s be friends!” We’ve all heard it before.
Think back, do you remember hearing these words over and over and not knowing what to do and feeling frustrated, mad, and going through a hard time accepting it?
They wanted to be your friend, but for some reason, you twisted and turned it and did everything you could to try to convince them that being friends was not what you wanted. You wanted a relationship. Take heart as it may not be another case of unrequited love.
Developing friendship before the relationship is eventually a good thing for both of you.
We are often caught between the reality, and what we want
After trying to convince them, you may have finally decided it was time to give up and walk away. Yet it took you a long time to let go.
Many people have been through this. Many people want to be with someone who doesn’t want a relationship and only wants to be friends or just be friends before dating .
So is keeping a friendship before relationship good or bad? Let’s find out.
What it means to be friends before dating
Friendship is the first thing you need and very important when it comes to developing a relationship. Being friends gives you the opportunity to get to know the person for who they are and gives you the opportunity to learn things about them that you would not have learned otherwise.
When you jump into a relationship without being friends first, all types of issues and challenges may occur. You begin to expect more from the person and sometimes set unrealistic expectations.
By putting friendship before a relationship, you can easily decide whether they are the perfect one to date or not as there will be no pretense and more open space to talk about things that matter.
Friends first, then lovers
Why put so much pressure on someone because of your own expectations and desires? When you develop a genuine friendship, there are no expectations. You both can be your true selves. You can learn everything you want to know about each other. You don’t have to worry about pretending to be someone you’re not.
Your prospective partner can relax in knowing that they can be themselves, and not worry about if you’re going to ask about a relationship.
Developing a bond of friendship before a relationship may be better than just letting attraction get the better of you and discovering later that you can’t even be good friends.
You can date other people
When it comes to a friendship, there are no strings attached and you are free to date and see other people if you like. You’re not tied or obligated to them. You don’t owe them any explanations for the decisions you make.
If your prospective partner asks you to just be friends with them, take it in your stride, and give them just that. Give him friendship without expecting it to blossom into a relationship. You may find that being friends is for the best and that you don’t want to be in a relationship with them.
It’s better to find out during the friendship phase that you don’t want a relationship, instead of finding out later, when you have connected emotionally with them. Being friends before lovers also ensures that the initial infatuation wears off.
You are able to see the other person for who they are and also present your real self to them, which is an excellent foundation for a long-term relationship. In any case, friendship in such a relationship is also important to keep the cogs turning.
Scarlett Johansson and Bill Murray did it (Lost In Translation), Uma Thurman and John Travolta did it (Pulp Fiction) and best of all Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulroney did it classic style (My Best Friend’s Wedding).
Well, they all placed friendship before relationship and their platonic bond worked out just fine. And it can happen just that way in real life too. Only if building a friendship before a relationship is a priority for you.
Building a friendship before dating
Being friends before dating is never a bad idea as it means that there is nothing superficial about the relationship. In fact, the chances of having a successful relationship also go up if you are a friend first.
But before forming a friendship before a serious relationship, you may have genuine confusion and questions like ‘how to be friends first before dating’ or ‘how long should you be friends before dating.’
Well, it all depends on what your initial chemistry is like and how it develops as you get to know each other. For some, the transition from friends to lovers happens within months while others may take years.
So, the next time they ask you to just be friends, consider saying okay, and remember that this is an opportunity for you to get to know them without being emotionally tied. It’s not the end of the world to put friendship before the relationship.
Though it’s not what you want or expect, there’s nothing wrong with being their friend and accepting that this is what they want. Many times, being friends is the best option.
Here are 12 reasons why accepting let’s be friends, is the best thing that could happen to you, because-
1. You get to know their real self and not who they pretend to be
2. You can be yourself
3. You don’t have to be accountable
4. You can date and get to know other people if you want
5. You can decide if being friends is better than being in a relationship with them
6. You don’t have to be under pressure to be yourself or be someone else
7. You don’t have to convince them to like you
8. You don’t have to convince them that you are the “One”
9.You don’t have to talk about entering a relationship with them
10. You don’t have to answer their calls or texts every time if you really can’t or don’t want to
11. You don’t have to obliged to communicate with them every day
12. You don’t have to convince them that you’re a good person
The bottom line
Putting friendship before a relationship gives you the opportunity to be free, free to be who you are, and free to choose to be in a relationship with him or not.
Hopefully, after reading this, you will realize that “Let’s Be Friends” is not such a bad statement, after all.
Going to this page allows you to view the Facebook friend requests you’ve sent, but this doesn’t show when each friend request was sent.
Is there any way to find out when a friendship request was sent, and sort all my sent friendship requests by date?
2 Answers 2
No, as of now there is no such feature (officially) available which shows sent friend request date.
To know when you have sent a request to someone you have to check the Activity Log.
I was finally able to definitively determine the answer to this question. As serenesat mentions, the feature is accessed by the Activity Log, but is a lot more intuitive and a lot easier than that makes it sound, especially since the newly-designed interface was introduced.
To browse sent friend requests by the date you sent them
- From any Facebook page, click the settings arrow at the top right of the navigation bar, and in the menu that appears, click Activity Log
- Click the More button under the left sidebar. In the expanded list of options, select Added Friends to narrow the activity displayed down to those involving only friends.
- Click the Sent Friend Requests sub-option to further narrow down the activity displayed to only the friend requests you’ve sent.
- You’ll now be able to scroll down through the history of friend requests you’ve sent to people on Facebook. To get the exact date and time that a particular request was sent, simply roll the mouse over its entry.
The Moment You Decide That Person Is a True Friend
If someone is your friend, it’s easy to tell, right? Not so fast. There is a difference between friendly and being friends, or being a casual friend and being a true friend. Not everyone has the right to be called friend, and you need to know the difference so you can keep comfortable boundaries in your friendships.
One of the most common things people wonder when they meet new people is how do you know when you can actually call someone a friend? Labels are a hard thing to process for some people, and they get caught up on the level of friendship, rather than the relationship itself.
The exact moment in time when you can call someone a friend will vary with the relationship and people involved. For your own peace of mind, here are some signs that the person is actually a friend.
They Care About You
Caring can mean all kinds of things, from acting in a pleasant manner to doing nice things for you. Generally someone that cares for you will:
- respect your feelings
- apologize when they do something wrong
- be concerned about you
- call or email even when they are busy
Caring doesn’t involve a checklist but a feeling that your well being is handled in a positive manner. Not everyone is a hugger, or shows their emotions as well as others, but if you feel as if someone truly believes in you and wants you to succeed, chances are they really do care.
They Haven’t Betrayed You
While betrayal can happen at the hand of someone who is (or was) a friend, odds are that if you’ve been stabbed in the back, something in the relationship has changed. This means that someone you thought was on your side wants to see you fail or become unhappy. Once someone betrays you, it’s a safe bet that they are no longer your friend.
The difficulty with this, however, is that people aren’t perfect, and even our best friends can break our trust at times. If that happens, a true friend will be sorry, apologize (and mean it), and want to make things right. If someone gives you a non-apology or doesn’t seem to care that they betrayed you, then you know they aren’t really a friend.
They Make Time for You
Have you ever had someone who just couldn’t get together with you unless they needed something? If you want to chat or hang out, they claim to be too busy. But if they want a favor they somehow have all the time in the world.
While any of one of us can claim to be busy, a true friend will make time for you. Maybe they can’t talk right now, but if you need to they will find time to call you back promptly. Or, if their schedule is really booked for the next few weeks, they will still try and put a date on the calendar to get together with you at some point. They don’t blow you off.
If you’re consistently trying to pin down someone and they seem to begrudgingly get together with you, they may just be keeping you in their social circle for their own benefit and therefore don’t really think of you as a friend.
You Enjoy Spending Time Together
If you really don’t like someone, it’s difficult to really call them a friend. Think of all the times that you were forced to see people who irritate you. How do you act with them? When they talk are you genuine in the questions you ask as part of the conversation? Or do you count the minutes until you have to leave?
Think of these distinctions when you’re out with someone you aren’t sure is really a friend. How do you feel when you’re with them? Do they seem snarky? Bored? They might not enjoy your company. More importantly, do you enjoy theirs? If you don’t, why even bother trying to determine if they are a friend? Find new friends who nurture your spirit and make you feel positive.
Stay up to date on the latest Friendship news and learn more about meeting new people, forming friendships, and keeping great pals in your life. Sign up for our free Friendship newsletter today!
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As seen on Fox
What is RentAFriend.com? RentAFriend.com is a unique website that allows people to place free profiles on RentAFriend.com to advertise their friendship. RentAFriend.com is NOT a dating website, rather it’s a website where people can “Rent Your Friendship”. It’s the first and only website where you can rent out your friendship and get paid.
There are millions of people in the world who are looking to make new friends, learn new talents as well as have someone to attend events and activities with. These people are willing to pay great money for you to accompany them, teach them new skill, or just be their friend.
The website is based on a simple search. People can visit the website and browse through the profiles. If they decide they want to contact you, they become a member of RentAFriend.com and they contact you directly to set a time, date, location, activity and price. You negotiate all the details with them and get paid directly by them
How To get started
First you need to fill out our application. Once you are approved (usually within an hour of signing up) your profile is made live on RentAFriend.com. People can search their zip code or city/state/country for Friends in their area. If they are interested in your profile they will contact you directly. You then negotiate your time, price, and activity with the member. You then meet your new friend, have a great time, and get paid!
The Benefits For Becoming a Friend on RentAFriend.com:
- Only paid Members of RentAFriend.com can contact you directly, so if someone contacts you and says they saw your profile on RentAfriend.com you know they are serious about meeting a new friend. Paid Members of RentAFriend can call, text, or message you through the website. You can write in your description how you would like to be contacted by the Members.
- It’s 100% free to have your profile on RentAFriend.com. There is never any cost to you plus you get to keep 100% of the money you make from meeting new friends.
- There are no obligations to be friends with anyone. You decide who you want to be friends with, how much you charge, and what times you want to work. You make all the rules! You are your boss!
Frequently asked questions:
How much money can I make?
It’s up to you! We have some Friends on RentAFriend.com making over $2000 a week full time. Then we have some people who just do it on the weekends and make $300-$500. It all depends on how much time you decide to work. Check out our estimated income chart below to get an idea of the potential. Of course you could make more or less depending on how much you work.
|IF YOU WORK PART TIME (3 days a week)||IF YOU WORK FULL TIME (5 days a week)|
|If you charge $20/hour||If you charge $50/hour||If you charge $20/hour||If you charge $50/hour|
|Weekly $480||Weekly $1200||Weekly $800||Weekly $2000|
|Monthy: $1920||Monthy: $4800||Monthy: $3200||Monthy: $8000|
|Yearly: $23,040||Yearly: $57,600||Yearly: $38,400||Yearly: $96,000|
What kind of activities will I get hired for?
Being your own Boss, you get to decide what you want to do. We have had members contact friends to attend concerts, sporting events, special VIP events and much more. It’s all about what you are interested in doing.Here are a list of some of the things that members have contacted friends for: Sporting Events, Family Functions, Giving Tours, Traveling, Going to Beach, Skiing, Snowboarding, Video Games, Parties, Concerts, Picnics, Business Events, Personal Advice, Shopping, Going to Park, Wine Tasting, Golfing, Amusement Parks, Museums, Baking/Cooking, Pottery, Religious Events, Casinos, Psychics, Bike Riding, Workout Partner, Teaching Manners, Introducing You To New People, Wingman/Wingwoman, Music, Zoo, Photography, Hot Air Balloon Rides, Hiking, Site Seeing, Bowling, Book Stores, Comedy Shows, Coffee House and much more! If you have a special skill, talent, or job make it clear on your profile. People are always looking for something new to learn! Such as dancing, a foreign language, different cultures and more. Do you live near a popular tourist destination? There are people right now looking to hire locals to show them the hot spots and best restaurants and attractions in town.
As a friend what am I entitled to do? Is there any form of sex involved?
NO. RentAFriend.com is a solely a platonic friendship website only. You are not required to do anything you don’t want to. You are the Boss, and make all of the rules. It’s extremely important that before you meet to discuss all of the details including the time, date, location plans and payment. Once all of those minor details are worked out, you will be able to enjoy your time much better. Remember you are NOT going on a date. RENTAFRIEND IS NOT A DATING WEBSITE. RentAFriend.com is strictly a platonic friendship website where people can rent your friendship. We have a very strong stance on physical contact. There is no physical contact at all during your time you spend with a member! You are there to provide friendship only.
How much will it cost me to join?
Becoming a Friend on RentAFriend.com is 100% Free.
How does RentAFriend.com make money, if they don’t charge me to be a Friend or take a percentage of my sales?
We charge the members (the people who want to contact you) a small fee to access our website. They pay a small fee to us, which allows them to contact you. There are 2 great benefits to a system like this. The first benefit is that this only allows you to be contacted by paying members of our website, meaning you won’t have random people contacting you. The second benefit is that if a member contacts you to make plans, they have paid a membership fee and are 100% serious about hiring you.
Do I have to work a certain time?
There are no schedules or minimum amounts of time you have to put in. You work when you want to.
How do I get started?
It’s simple. Just fill out the application and then you will be emailed within a few hours to confirm your membership! If you have any questions, contact us.
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So, you’re officially seeing someone. It’s exciting, but it may come with a to-do list вЂ” change your Facebook relationship status (Mark from Econ needs to know), call your mom, and upgrade from a twin bed (OK вЂ” this might just be me). But you may also want to let your friends know, which means the time has come to send a group text to announce you’re officially dating someone. Your friends want to be kept in the loop, so for tips on how to craft these messages, I got you covered.
You’ll want to send a text that lets your friends in on the excitement. Maybe they know the person you’re seeing, or maybe they don’t вЂ” either way, one thing is for sure: They want you to be happy. They also might have questions, particularly if they don’t know your new partner well. Ideally, your text will be both clear and concise, while also expressing your enthusiasm and telling the whole story. This will help your friends get on the same page as you immediately, and share in your joy. You’ll also don’t want to alienate someone who has recently gotten out of a relationship, but not to worry вЂ” I have text tips on how to do that, as well.
Read on to find nine texts that’ll let your friends know that you’re officially off the market.
Hey, we made it official. I’m excited!
Maybe your friends know you’ve been seeing this person for a while, and they expect things to get official real soon. In this case, send a short and quick text. This will let them know that the deed has been done.
Hey, I’ve been seeing this person for a few months. I wasn’t sure I was looking for a relationship, but our chemistry is amazing, and we decided to give it a try. I’d love for you to meet them soon!
You may have friends who aren’t as looped into your dating life, but you still want them to know you have an official partner now. If that’s the case, try sending an explainer text. This fills them in on the details they might have missed, and when they do meet your partner, they don’t feel behind.
ASCGHESDJ. CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE OFFICIAL!
If you’re beyond excited, let your friends know. It’s totally fun to send a text that’s, well, barely legible. They’ll know exactly what level of excitement to respond with.
Hey, I know things were rocky with them in the beginning, but they’ve expressed a very strong desire to commit, and we’re going to give it a try, so I hope you can be open to them вЂ” your opinion is really important to me.
This type of text works if your friends might not necessarily be on the same page as you about your partner. Perhaps, before the DTR stage, you might have been on-again, off-again with your partner, because you were unsure of next steps. Your friends could be onboard with this, or they could be suspicious. If they are wary, send a text like this one. Your friends want you to be happy, and they’ll appreciate the info.
Hey, so I’m officially seeing this person now, but I’m not disappearing! Let’s catch up soon!
This is one to send a friend who might be having relationship troubles right now. It’s always OK to not text a friend (you don’t owe people answers about your love life), but if you do want to update them on your life, I’d recommend something short and quick. Try a message that lets them know you still plan to prioritize your friendship with them.
Hey, it’s us here, and we just want to let you know we’re officially dating! Excited to hang as a couple soon! Lol
You and your partner could write a text together if you have a lot of mutual friends. To do so, pick a phone, and then text friends saying something along the lines of the above. Your mutual friends will appreciate that you see them as a joint friend, rather than belonging to one person or the other. Plus, it’s a little silly!
Hey friends! I’m now official with this person, can I bring them to trivia Wednesday?
If you’re crunched for time, or you just love group-texting, you may send a text to a group of friends at once. This can be similar to any of the above messages, but you can also include a line about doing a group hang soon. Consider a text that lets your friends know you want to incorporate your new partner into the group.
Hey, we’re now officially seeing each other, which means instead of sleeping at each other’s houses only on weekends, we’ll be there during the week, too.
This is a useful text if you feel like you and your partner have been together for a while, but now that you’re official, you’re starting to plan the future. “Official” can mean different things to every couple, so your particular type of official could be more serious. If this is the case, try a text similar to this one will give your friends some explanation for what “official” means to you, especially if you and your partner have been together for a while is helpful.
Maybe your friends know the DTR convo is coming. In this case, they might just be waiting to hear good news or not, so something like a smiley or a thumbs-up emoji could be enough.
Letting your friends know about a new relationship is tricky. You may have many different friends who all have their own unique perspectives, so it can be helpful to have a bunch of options for how to let them know. Starting a new relationship can be extremely exciting, and these texts will help your friends share in your joy. No matter what, have fun! The beginning of a new relationship can be magical.
By As told to Bianca Farmakis | 7 months ago
In 9Honey’s Dating Diaries series, Aussies share their experiences of looking for love – and all the highs and lows that entails. This week, Cindy*, 30 a social media manager from Perth, shares their (residual) relationship issues – that are all thanks to her closest friend.
“My best friend and I have been in each other’s corners since we met in the final year of high school. We ran in different groups, but thanks to one stress-induced crying fit during an exam we both had in the school bathrooms, we met and have been inseparable since.
When I turned 24, I met the love of my life, and naturally, there’s been lows here and there, but we’re solid and strong.
“My best friend and I have been in each other’s corners since we met in the final year of high school.” (Unsplash)
It was a realistic relationship and a lasting one – though I probably wouldn’t have said that when it first started.
But for my friend, fortune hasn’t necessarily favoured her when it comes to love.
She’s been cheated on, ghosted – whatever dating trends there are about, she’s experienced them. About two years ago, the woman she’d been dating for four years broke up with her ‘out of the blue’ (in her words), and it’s been solid months of drunken crying every time we go out since.
I listen to her stories of bad dates, her terrible one-night stands, and how she’ll ‘never’ find anyone again.
While the pandemic brought me the sweet relief of not having to hold her hair back while she threw up from drowning her sorrows in alcohol, or comfort her on a night out when she crashes a date with my partner and I, I’m starting to realise my tolerance is wearing razor thin.
“I don’t know how to tell my best friend she’s the problem in her relationships.” (Unsplash)
I’m also realising she is the problem – a lot of the time – in most of her failed romances.
Considering our friendship, I know her well – as wonderful as she is, when it comes to serious situations, she tends to drift off into the realm of overly dramatic, argumentative and destructive rather than taking opportunities to grow and progress.
Put simply, I don’t know how to tell my best friend she’s the problem in her relationships – and I truly don’t know if our relationship would survive it if I did.”
If you’re questioning whether your relationship will survive by sharing your truth with your friend, you may have just hit the core source of the issue.
“It’s important to think about whether it’s your place.” (Unsplash)
Can your friend handle negativity or (constructive) criticism without falling apart? Or does it descend into the type of moderately-socially-acceptable chaos you’ve described?
Secondly, it’s important to think about whether it’s your place.
You’re not in a romantic relationship with her, but a meaningful platonic one, and while that’s significant in helping someone develop, it doesn’t always warrant being involved in their intimate affairs.
Has she ever asked you why her relationships don’t work out, or are you coming from a place of delivering unsolicited advice?
Is your friendship is the longest relationship she’s successfully had outside of her family? (Unsplash)
It can be a very thin catwalk to stroll down between nurturing a relationship and destroying it. Think about the way in which you could help her recognise the patterns that keep leading to unsuccessful romances, rather than shining a harsh mirror in her face and telling her to “look”.
This, of course, has nuance – if it’s getting to the point where it’s implicating your relationship with her, that presents another, more approachable avenue to discuss. Framing her destructive behaviours in the context of your relationship and how it’s being impacted may be the wake up call she needs to change her behaviour.
Have you ever considered whether your friendship is the longest relationship she’s successfully had outside of her family? It may be that you’ve formed the beacon of support in her life, and discussing boundaries would be the best next step to take.
In a perfect world, the person you’re in love with would feel the same way. Sadly, that’s not always the case. Dealing with unrequited love can be really tough. But what do you do when you have unrequited feelings for a friend? According to experts, it may be tough at first. But it is possible to have a friendship with someone you have feelings for.
“The trickiest part of maintaining a friendship with someone you’re in love with is that it absolutely requires you to accept this person exactly as they are,” Dr. Mark Borg Jr, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in relationships, tells Bustle. That means you have to accept this person as a friend who doesn’t feel the same way.
It may seem obvious. But due to the way people are wired, it’s a lot easier said than done. “Because of our own psychological defense system that serves to protect us from emotional pain and being overwhelmed by anxiety, it’s not always possible to know for sure that we accept the fact that this person doesn’t love us back,” Borg says.
According to Borg, time, a commitment to friendship, and a willingness to be honest with yourself, are “the necessary ingredients” to maintaining a friendship with someone you’re in love with.
So here’s what you should do if you have unrequited love for your friend, according to experts.
Take Some Time To Heal
It can feel nearly impossible to be around a friend that you’re in love with. As Dr. Deidra A. Sorrell, licensed professional counselor who specializes in relationships, tells Bustle, “The only way to heal from this is old-fashioned time and distance.” If that means having to take a break from your mutual friend group in order to heal, you may need to do it. “Time with this person is like re-injuring a broken bone,” Sorrell says. “You won’t heal if you’re constantly around them.” It’s important to know that you can’t rush the healing process. Everyone does it at their own pace.
Put Yourself And Your Needs First
Loving someone who doesn’t feel the same can be emotionally exhausting. When you’re spending some time alone to heal, the main goal is to put yourself first. Practice self-care, and take the time to figure out what you really want in a partner. According to Sorrell, take inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses so you’re more focused on your needs when you meet someone new. Therapy or just talking to a close friend can also help you gain perspective on what you may need to do differently in the future.
Pursue Other Relationships When You’re Ready
“Unrequited love hurts, but time heals all wounds,” Grace Lee, dating coach and CEO of A Good First Date, tells Bustle. “Maybe even pursue some other relationships.” You don’t have to look for a serious relationship right away. But if you’re spending time away from your usual friend group, don’t be afraid to meet new people. It doesn’t have to be people you’re attracted to or romantically interested in вЂ”В you can aim to meet new friends. For instance, if you take a class, introduce yourself to the person next to you. Start conversations and make connections. Once you feel ready to go back to your old friend group, you can. According to Lee, you may want to start with a group hangout. “You’ll know right away if you can tolerate being around that person without feeling extreme pain,” she says.
Commit To Seeing Them As Just a Friend
You don’t ever need to write someone off completely. As Dr. Melanie Ross Mills, licensed clinical counselor who specializes in relationships and author, tells Bustle, you just need to put them in another category. “You can remain friends with them by moving them to a less personal category,” Mills says. “For example, in this case, put them in the Acquaintance Category. This allows you to still connect without expectations of becoming besties. It also gives both of you the option to become closer in the future.” When you do this, it’s important to let go of any feelings of hurt and bitterness. If you can’t, it may not be the right time to have a friendship.
Figure Out If Maintaining A Friendship Is Worth It
When you have a strong connection with someone, it can be easy to fall in love with them. It’s natural to want to keep them in your life, even if they don’t feel the same way. But it can do a number on your self-esteem if you’re not careful. According to Kim Egel, licensed therapist who specializes in relationships, you have to be honest with yourself about whether maintaining a friendship is worth it. “If this begins to chip away at your sense of self-worth or makes you miserable, it’s just not worth it,” Egel says. “If you can still enjoy and gain from the friendship without negative feelings getting in the way, then sounds like it’s working for you for now. Just be mindful to stay honest with yourself and check in from time to time.”
It’s tough to deal with unrequited love in general, but it’s even harder when it’s someone you’re friends with. The important thing here is to be honest with yourself. If it’s too hard to be around them, it’s OK to distance yourself for a bit. You may find that with time, a friendship with them can be possible.
Dr. Deidra A. Sorrell, licensed professional counselor, owner of Synergy Wellness Therapeutic Services
Grace Lee, dating coach and CEO of A Good First Date
Dr. Melanie Ross Mills, licensed clinical counselor, author of The Friendship Bond