- How to Tell When a Guy Just Wants You as a Rebound
- Why Some Men Aren’t Successful With Meeting Women
- How to Know If a Guy Finds You Intimidating
- How to Know If Your Guy Friend Would Date You
- How to Know if your partner is lying
Beware the player in the dating world. Men often get the reputation of being players, but women can be just as deceptive with the people they date. Knowing what a player is and learning how to spot the signs can help you avoid the heartbreak that comes along with dating one.
What Is a Player?
What is the definition of a player in a relationship? There’s some variation in the definition of a player in dating, but the general consensus is that it’s a person who doesn’t want to commit but makes his partner believe he does. Players often know just what to say to make dates believe they are ready to settle down. Players often use mind games to convince their dates that they are interested when they are actually emotionally unavailable. They are usually charming and may sweep you off your feet with their romantic talk and gestures.
Why People Become Players
You know the definition of a player in relationships, but understanding the reasoning behind the behavior isn’t always as easy. Players often find satisfaction in getting people to fall for them. It feels like a victory to win the affection of someone else.
People often behave this way because of poor self-esteem. Feeling in control and having lots of people fall for them boosts their ego. The power means they don’t have to show their vulnerability and risk getting hurt themselves. They might feel as if they aren’t worthy of love, so they avoid committed relationships in favor of short relationships they can control.
For many players, getting someone to fall for them is a bit like an addiction. It provides a feeling of euphoria to know that charm and slick talk convinced someone to fall hard. When the excitement wears off, the player moves on to the next “catch” to continue pursuing the thrill of the chase.
How to Spot a Player in Real Life
Spotting a player before you fall for the bait helps you avoid heartache, but it’s not always easy to tell what you’re dealing with. Players often have plenty of practice and know just what you want to hear. It’s easy to get caught up in that fantasy world. If you can step back a little, you may be able to spot some signs that you’re dating a player, including:
- Your date has very limited availability. If she’s always unavailable on weekends, for example, she may be a player.
- He’s constantly texting or doesn’t want you to see his phone. He may be hiding his interactions with other women.
- She doesn’t let you meet her friends or take you to her place. You can’t expect an immediate invite, but if you’ve been dating a while and still haven’t met a single friend or seen even the outside of her apartment, you may not be the only one.
- He moves quickly, trying to convince you to fall for him right away. He may be very charming, enthusiastic and say what you want to hear. He may try to convince you that your life would be horrible without him.
- Boasting or unsubstantiated claims may be an indicator of player tendencies.
- You feel as though the situation is too good to be true. Follow your instincts if you have a gut feeling that something’s not right.
How to Spot a Player on Dating Apps or Online
It can be a little more difficult to spot a player online or on a dating app. It’s easy for people to deceive one another from behind a keyboard. The same behaviors that apply in real life may pop up in online dating, but you may see other signs as well. Look for telltale signs in the dating profile, and pay attention if you meet in person. The following signs may reveal your date’s player tendencies:
If you are sincere about learning how to be a player and getting endless sex, love and affection from women, then don’t leave my website until you learn my secrets.
My name is Dan Bacon and I transformed myself from a dateless nice guy into a confident, alpha male who has lived the player lifestyle for more than 10 years now.
How did I do it?
My approach is to make women feel intense attraction for me during an interaction, based on my conversation style, body language and vibe.
I pretty much always have sex with women on the first night or first date and after that I don’t call them.
Yes, you read it right.
If you want to be a player, I recommend that you have sex with the woman and then don’t call her or text her.
Let her chase you after the sex has happened, while you keep having sex with the other women in your life.
Treat her well when you are with her, but don’t commit to her and only her.
If you want to be a player for real, you need to have more than one woman in your life.
If you only have one girl, then you will most-likely fall in love with her, develop “strong feelings” for her or feel as though you need her because you can’t get other girls.
When you’re living the player lifestyle for real, you don’t need any woman, no matter how hot she is.
She might be a 9/10 with a stunning body, but another girl sucked you off last night and she was just as hot.
The irony of being a player is that women actually want you more and love you more because of it.
They will complain, but secretly they love it and are excited to have finally met a guy who has his choice with women.
A woman wants to feel LUCKY to be with her man, rather than feeling as though she has settled for a guy who couldn’t get any other woman so he has latched on to her.
When most women meet a player, they get excited and hope to the girl who finally gets him to settle down.
If you do show her any signs of commitment or love, it feels so much more valuable to her compared to the love of a desperate guy.
My Story: How I Became a Player With Women
I used to lack confidence in myself and as a result, most women didn’t feel sexually attracted to me.
One day, I got lucky and hooked up with a girl at a party and we then started a relationship.
A year and a half into the relationship, she cheated on me and then dumped me because I had become jealous, over-protective and insecure.
The break up sent me into a downward spiral where I lost even more confidence in myself.
I was single, alone and frustrated for many years after that and no matter what I did to improve myself (e.g. working out at the gym, buying expensive clothes, etc) women didn’t like me.
Since confidence is the #1 thing that a player needs to succeed with women, I was essentially out of the game.
I felt intimidated by beautiful women, sucked at keeping conversations going and didn’t know how to flirt with women.
If I did manage to get laid, it was usually with an ugly girl or a drunk woman who would realize her mistake when she sobered up.
After a while, I got sick and tired of settling for second best because I knew that I deserved better.
I realized that I was going to have to become more confident, charismatic and alpha around women if I ever wanted to live the player lifestyle I was dreaming of.
There weren’t any websites like The Modern Man back then, so I had to work it all out on my own.
I began getting rid of my nervousness around women, eliminating my insecurities and becoming more confident guy.
The more confident I became, the more that women liked me and wanted to have sex with me.
After a while, I got to the point where I was dating and having sex with multiple women at once.
Instead of rejecting me or seeing me as a try-hard player like they used to, women were now opening themselves up to the conversation and were completely comfortable with me touching them and escalating to a kiss within about 10-20 minutes.
When I discovered what I now teach here at The Modern Man, everything changed and women began flooding into my life.
For around 10 years, I’ve had at least 2 new women coming over to my place each week for sex, until recently settling down with my girlfriend.
While living the player lifestyle, women were always trying to make me choose them as my serious, long term girlfriend, but I just wanted to be a player and enjoy what I had been missing out on for so long.
I eventually got to the point where ANY time I went out to a club, I would be able to pull a hot woman back for sex.
I was no longer the confused, frustrated guy who had to approach 100s of women to hopefully get lucky with one of them; I was a legitimate player.
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Are you ready to begin the exciting, rapid transformation from who you are now into a complete player who has more women wanting to have sex with him than he has time for?
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Some guys are “players”. Their only motive is to seek sexual pleasure from a girl and ditch her when they no longer find her stimulating enough. These guys, in general, are quite cynical about the very concept of “love” and their only interest is in surface level pleasure. They use sex as a means of adventure, and achievement, without ever connecting with their partner at any emotional level.
Guys who are seasoned “players” can be very shrewd and subtle in their tactics. They are very good at hiding their true intentions. Girls usually have a “gut” instinct about players, but some guys are so good at hiding their “player” nature that they can get past the defenses of the most intuitive girl.
A weakness that many girls have is that, for them, “attraction” overrides intuition. So when a girl is deeply attracted to a guy, she usually ignores her intuition. Players know this, and they use it to their advantage. They exhibit “artificial” behavior intended at increasing a girl’s attraction for them; and once she is hooked in her attraction they go for the kill.
So as a girl, how do you know when a man is only interested in having sex with you, or when a man is plainly being a player? There are certain signs that you can watch out for, which can be a helpful indication.
How To Tell If A Man Is A Player?
Here are some signs that indicate that a man is a player:
1.) He is Too Smooth
When a guy is a player, he is adept at striking conversations with girls, and is usually suave in his flirting. Players know that girls are inherently attracted to “studs” who are self-assured and confident, so they usually project a image of being super cool and cocky.
They practice their opening lines, their conversation starters and some “flirty” jokes and punch lines, with professional alacrity. They can “impress” a girl quite easily with their mannerisms, body language and talk. Of course, most of it is completely artificial and a “put on” purely for the purpose of catching a girl’s attention and spiking her attraction.
2.) He Flirts Openly and Boldly
When a guy is a player, his intention is to “capture” as many girls as he can. The only way he’s going to accomplish this is by “flirting” as much as possible with as many girls as possible. He will not lose time when he spots a likely target.
He will usually start off with deliberate eye contacts; you will notice that a player maintains steady eye contact and does not look away when you look back at him. In fact, he will give you a bold “playful” smile and wait for your reaction. If you look inviting, he will start initiating friendly conversation and before long he will have your contact number and may be even a “date”.
Men who are Players are really good at making eye contact. In contrast, most “normal” guys are quite shy about making eye contact with a girl, and would usually look away when the girl meets their eye. Players are bold in their approach, and don’t come across as being shy about making eye contact, smiling or starting a conversation, and flirting. It’s the quickness and boldness of their approach that should tip you off.
3.) He’s a Bit Too “Interesting”
If guy triggers your attraction within a few moments of interaction, there’s a huge possibility that he’s a player who is adept at pushing your buttons. When a guy is only interested in having sex with you, he’s not going to waste time on “non sex” hours. So he will try to up your attraction as quickly as he can. He will project himself in such a manner that he comes across as the most “interesting” guy you’ve ever met. For your own good, you should be cautious when a guy comes across as being too interesting too soon.
4.) He’s Keen on Physical Intimacy
Guys who are players don’t want to waste their time on developing any “emotional” intimacy. The only thing they are interested in is physical intimacy and they go for it as quickly as they can. They will start touching a girl by the first date, and might even try kissing her. By the second date, they usually try to initiate some form of physical intimacy. If they sense that a girl is too reserved or cautious, they usually move on to more interesting prospects. You can almost sense a sexual tension in their voice and body language, when they are with you on a date.
5.) He Shows a Lot of “Fake” Interest in You
A players knows that the easiest way to get a girl “swooning” over him is to give her the “initial” importance. So he praises her, he “listens” to all her opinions and views, he lets her talk and pretends to be really interested in everything she says, he pampers her with attention, and basically he makes her feel like she has found her “prince charming”.
6.) He Triggers “impulsiveness” in You
Girls can get really impulsive when they are blinded in the moment of attraction.
A guy who is a player, knows this weakness in girls. So he will instigate feelings of “sexual” attraction by his mannerisms and then quickly get her to act out the impulse. Basically the players are looking for girls who are “easy”, these are the ones who are impulsive and short-sighted when blinded by attraction. When you are in the throes of attraction it’s easy to act out of impulse and have sex with him, only to realize later that you’ve played for.
It’s actually easy to weed out a player. Just make him wait for sex, and if he starts losing interest you know what his agenda was to start with. If a guy really loves you, he will not mind waiting for sex till it feels right. This is how you know if a man really loves you or just wants to have sex with you.
Just remember that if a guy comes across as being too smooth in his approach, it’s basically because of the practiced ease – he’s just playing you like he has played others. The only problem is that as a girl, you can get blinded in your attraction.
Before we get into the how of spotting a player, let’s first discuss what one is. In the simplest terms possible, I find good synonyms to be schmuck, loser and jerk. You may have your own favorite jargon, of course, but the man himself is always the same. His primary goal in life is gaining attention, as this fills the void his poor little heart can’t fill from within. He moves from one woman to the next, often so smoothly that said women never see the move coming — and he does so because he can’t commit to anyone in particular, lest he be forced to stand still long enough to get a look at himself in the mirror.
Being in my line of work, I’ve met a lot of players over the years. More than a lot, really. They come in all shapes and sizes, some of them slimier than others, but they’ve all got several characteristics in common. Some will have more, some will have less, but if the man you’re dating has several of these in one go, you could well be dating a player.
1. He expressly denies being one.
In my experience, the men who come straight out (unprovoked) and proclaim that they aren’t players, tend to be precisely that. He will announce this the first time he screws up, or senses that you’re leery about him. And he’s operating on reflex. You see, he’s so used to being accused of being one, that he instinctively plays offense from the start, in the hope you might be gullible enough to believe what you hear, rather than what you see.
2. He’s too smooth.
Does he have an answer for everything? A really good answer for everything? I’m not surprised. as it comes from years of practice. He’s made all the big mistakes and has plenty of experience with smoothing things over. He knows what you want to hear, because he’s learned well from his previous enablers. Don’t add yourself to the list.
3. He’s always slightly aloof.
He pays just enough attention to make you crave more, but little enough to make you wonder how interested he really is. This ploy is designed to make you want more — which is what most of you end up doing — and some of you will go out of your way to get his attention via methods you wouldn’t normally lower yourself to. That’s exactly what he wants; you crawling on your knees for his attention.
- University of Pennsylvania
Are you wondering if you’re dating a player? While you may really like this guy, are looking for a serious commitment, and can see a future with him, it’s important to be able to recognize if he’s actually a player. He may seem like the perfect guy, but there are eight key signs that can help let you know if you’re on the path toward happiness or if you’re getting played instead.
1. He’s Constantly on His Phone
One of the clear signs that you’re dating a player is that he’s always texting other people. For instance, if you notice that he’s always on his phone, smiling, giggling, and sending photos, this can help let you know that you’re not the only person he’s communicating with and that you’re not the only person on his mind. When you can’t seem to capture his attention when you’re together, this is a key indicator that he’s playing the field.
2. He Won’t Make Long-Term Plans
Another top sign that he’s a player is that he won’t talk about your future together. While you may want to start planning trips as a couple and like to talk about your future hopes, dreams, and goals, he’s tentative to commit to anything far in advance. For instance, he may turn down a request to accompany you to a cousin’s wedding in a few weeks or won’t give you a clear answer about spending the holidays together because he doesn’t want to be tied down in any way.
3. He Breaks Plans Last Minute
Speaking of not being tied down, an additional sign that he’s a player is that he’s unreliable. While you may have plans to meet for brunch, see a movie, or hit up a farmers market, he constantly changes plans with you, leaves you hanging, and cancels last minute. When you’re dating someone who you can’t count on, you can count on the fact that you’re getting played.
4. He’s Vague About His Whereabouts
Another key indicator that you’re dating a player is that he tends to stay on the vague side regarding his daily occurrences when you’re not around. For instance, he may generalize about his job, keep things ambiguous regarding his weekend plans, or keep your conversations on a superficial level. If you’re dating someone who never seems to give you a straight answer and leaves you guessing and wondering, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s probably playing you.
5. He Won’t Introduce You to His Friends
When it comes to being vague, a clear sign that you’re with a player is that you haven’t met people who are close to him. For instance, if you’ve never met any of his friends and yet he’s met yours, this should raise a red flag that something’s a bit off. In order to get to know someone and establish a connection, it’s important that both of you take steps to include each other in your respective worlds. However, if he’s unwilling to include you in this aspect of his life, this is typically the sign of a player, as it shows that you’re just not that important to him.
6. He’s a Flirt
An additional sign that he’s a player is that he’s a big flirt. For instance, while he may flirt with you, he tends to flirt with the hostess, the waitress, or the barista when you’re out together. You may also notice him checking out others even when you’re with each other. If he seems to have a wandering eye, this can be a key indicator that he’s playing you.
7. His Needs Come First
If you’re wondering if you’re dating a player, another top sign is that his needs come before yours. For example, whether he’s selecting a restaurant, a time to hang out, or a place to meet up, it’ll always be on his terms and satisfy his needs. However, when you’re in a relationship where there’s mutual respect, trust, and compassion, you make each other a real priority rather than placing the focus on yourself.
8. He’s Eager to Be Sexually Intimate with You
Another top sign that you’re dating a player is that he’s constantly trying to get you into bed. But in a loving, happy, and healthy relationship, you should never feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do, even if it’s kissing on a first date. No one should ever pressure you or feel the need to convince you to do something you’re not comfortable with, and if he behaves in this inappropriate way, he’s not only a player, but a loser.
Chris Hoffman is Editor-in-Chief of How-To Geek. He’s written about technology for over a decade and was a PCWorld columnist for two years. Chris has written for The New York Times, been interviewed as a technology expert on TV stations like Miami’s NBC 6, and had his work covered by news outlets like the BBC. Since 2011, Chris has written over 2,000 articles that have been read nearly one billion times—and that’s just here at How-To Geek. Read more.
The VideoLAN project releases regular updates for the VLC Media Player. These updates add new features and fix bugs, but can also include important security patches that help protect your PC or Mac from attack.
VLC automatically notifies you of new updates when you open it, but it doesn’t automatically install them. Here’s how to check manually and get the most recent version of VLC on any platform: Windows, Mac, Linux, Android, iPhone, and iPad.
If you don’t want to use the built-in update process, you don’t have to. You can download the latest version of VLC from VideoLAN’s website. Be sure to only get it from the official website at videolan.org.
How to Update VLC on a Windows PC
On a Windows PC, click Help > Check for Updates to see whether an update is available.
If an update is available, VLC will offer to download and install it for you. Click “Yes” and VLC will download the latest update for you.
VLC will offer to launch the installer once it’s downloaded. Click “install” to close VLC and begin installing it.
Click through the installer to install the new version of VLC. You can just select “Upgrade VLC using previous settings (recommended)” to keep your current VLC options.
Once it’s done, ensure “Run VLC media player” is selected and click “Finish.”
VLC is now up-to-date. If you click Help > Check for Updates again, you’ll see you have the latest version of the media player.
How to Update VLC on a Mac
On a Mac, click VLC > Check for Updates. This option is found on the menu bar at the top of your Mac’s display.
VLC will let you know if an update is available. Click “Install Update” to download it.
When it’s done, click “Install and Relaunch” to install the latest version of VLC and open it.
If you click VLC > Check for Update again, you’ll see a message saying you’re up-to-date with the latest version available.
How to Update VLC on Android, iPhone, iPad, and Linux
On Android, VLC updates through the Google Play Store. On iPhone or iPad, it updates through Apple’s App Store, just like any other application.
The same is true on Linux: Your Linux distribution updates VLC through its normal software update tools.
Just install normal application and software updates to get the latest versions of VLC.