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How to date an introvert

How to date an introvert

I closed the door and sighed. Another date over for this introvert.

Technically, there wasn’t anything wrong with him. We’d had a fine-enough time noshing Thai food in a trendy downtown restaurant. We listened to some of the same bands, both liked reading sci-fi, and each had two cats.

But just like all the others, something was missing. Would I ever meet someone I clicked with?

Finding “the one” isn’t exclusively an introvert problem, but we introverts face certain challenges that extroverts don’t. For one, it’s exhausting for us to constantly put ourselves out there. Add to that our dislike of forced socializing, penchant for quiet, and strong need for meaningful interaction, and finding a partner can feel downright impossible.

I can’t speak for every “quiet one,” but here are nine secrets about dating an introvert, based on my experiences and the experiences of introverts I interviewed for my book.

The Secrets to Dating an Introvert

1. Just because we’re not making the first move doesn’t mean we’re not dying to talk to you.

When I saw someone I was interested in, usually the best I could muster was a smile and some intense eye contact from across the room. I know, it’s easier to get away with this tactic when you’re a woman and traditional dating etiquette says the man should make the first move. But often, guys didn’t pick up on my hints. I’d drive myself crazy trying to work up the courage to walk over to him — and then what would I even say? Usually any attempts at this ended in me mumbling some small talk, then giving up.

If you know you’re dealing with an introvert, don’t discount our subtle signals. Whether it’s the first date or our ten-year wedding anniversary, we probably won’t broadcast our interest and affection as loudly as extroverts — but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.

2. We’d take one small moment of connection over someone who does all the “right” things.

Many introverts are intensely interested in meaning. We crave interesting, thoughtful conversation. Some of my favorite “dates” were not actually dates at all, but simply times when the stars seemed to align and I made an authentic connection. Like the time I dragged myself to an extroverted friend’s birthday party at a noisy, crowded dance club (ugggggg) and ended up finding a fellow introvert who also didn’t want to be there. We talked all night, making fun of our drunk friends writhing on the dance floor, and he kissed me when he walked me back to my car.

When you’re dating an introvert, worry less about doing all the right things, like texting at the right time, saying the right thing, or dividing up the check properly. Instead, dive deep and focus on making an authentic connection. Show us your inner world — what you’re passionate about, what you’re scared of, and how you’re really doing.

Introverts aren’t looking for simple give-and-take interactions. We’re looking for a connection that is mind-to-mind..

3. We need time to open up.

In my mind, the first three dates were usually a wash. Meaning, my date didn’t really see the real me. I was one big ball of nervous awkwardness.

Private by nature, many introverts just don’t feel comfortable talking about themselves to people they don’t know well. If you’re dating an introvert, give us time to open up. Soon enough, our quirky humor, thoughtfulness, or altruistic nature will shine through.

4. If we’re ready to call it a night earlier than you are, that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re not into you.

Dating, like all social interactions, drain our limited supply of “people” energy. I’ve been on dates where I really was enjoying myself, but soon, that dreaded introvert hangover struck. I got tired, glazed-over, and snappish; my words weren’t coming out right anymore.

If you’re dating an introvert, don’t take it personally when we retreat to the comfort (and quiet) of our home. Dating can be draining for anyone, but for introverts, who get easily overstimulated because of the way their brains respond to dopamine, it can be downright exhausting. Give us some time alone, and like a dehydrated flower that’s been watered, we’ll perk back up.

5. We’re not going to be that person who goes to every party or event with you.

And you have to be okay with that. We can be social, but for us, it’s all about dosage (see #4). That means saying no to some social events.

6. Honestly, words are hard.

At times, it can be hard for us to get our thoughts and feelings out. That’s because introverts tend to struggle with word retrieval. The thoughts bounce around in our heads, but because we’re so internal, they don’t make it past our lips. At least, not as eloquently as they sounded in our minds.

We’re not asking you to be a mind reader. We know it’s on us to make our preferences and needs known. What we are asking for is that you’ll do your best to understand. Cut us some slack if we “umm” and “ahhh.” Believe us when we say, “I need time to think about that.”

7. Want to impress us? Feed our intellectual side.

Some of my favorite dates have been to plays, concerts, and art installations. Feed our intellectual side, and our hearts will follow.

8. We may struggle with things that aren’t an issue for you.

Many introverts, especially highly sensitive introverts, have unique needs that may not make sense to other people. For example, I hate spending the night at other people’s houses. It takes me awhile, even in a committed relationship, to want to do this. Whether it’s because I can’t control my environment well or the “newness” of it is overstimulating, I’m not sure. But it’s something I’ve always struggled with, even as a kid when I got invited to friends’ sleepovers.

If you’re dating an introvert, please respect our boundaries — even if they are around things that you don’t struggle with. They are valid challenges for us.

9. If you’re in our life, you mean the world to us.

If we’ve made it past that awkward dating phase and have entered committed-relationship territory, you’re special to us. Even if the relationship doesn’t end in happily ever after, trust me when I say it will matter to us.

It takes a lot of energy for introverts to meet and get comfortable with new people. We have to stretch ourselves and step waaaaay out of our comfort zone. As a result, everything — both the good and the bad — takes on 10x more meaning.

You might like:

  • What’s Really Going on When the Introvert You’re Dating Says, “I Need Space”?
  • 10 Subtle Signs an Introvert Is Interested in Dating You
  • 6 Reasons Dating an Introvert Really is Better
  • The 3 Hardest Things About Being an Introvert Looking for Love

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How to date an introvert

Opposites really do attract, don’t they? If you’re an extrovert and your favorite person is an introvert, you might be looking for information about dating an introvert to learn how to be more supportive in your relationship.

That’s great; you’ve come to the right place! Learning more about dating an introvert is going to be especially helpful for you if you’re a full-blown extrovert, the type of person who loves and is energized by social interactions. Taking the time to learn more about dating an introvert will be appreciated by your favorite introvert, for sure!

Table of Contents

What Being Introverted Really Means

Being introverted doesn’t necessarily mean that you hate all large social groups and gatherings, or that you always prefer one-on-one activities and never feel like going to parties. Most of us are a mix of extroverted and introverted, with people who lean more towards the introverted side tending to need more recovery time after social interactions and activities and more prep time before.

Learning more about how to be a better partner to your introverted significant other will benefit both of you!

Tips for Dating an Introvert

How to date an introvert

1) Ask what they need

Don’t wait for them to tell you they need space, ask them how often they like to have alone time, and check in often, asking how they’re feeling.

2) Don’t take their need for solitude personally

Introverts commonly feel depleted after a lot of social interaction, even if it’s just one-on-one with the person they love! Show your support by understanding time alone for them isn’t about time away from you, it’s time for themselves to recharge.

3) Plan dates that work for them

Perhaps your person might be more comfortable going out for coffee rather than going out for a drink in a crowded bar, or going for a hike rather than walking through a shopping mall. Ask for their feedback and take it seriously!

4) Give plenty of warning before a social activity

If you’d like to invite them to a friend’s party, give plenty of notice so they can mentally prepare for it. Surprise social engagements aren’t typically a favorite of introverts.

5) Make space for them in the conversation

Sometimes extroverts can take an introvert’s quieter, slower pace of sharing and speaking as a cue to talk more, but introverts have plenty to share too, as long as there’s space for it! Make an effort to ask thoughtful questions and give space for the answers.

6) Be ready to compromise

For some extrovert/introvert couples, this might look like trading off on date night ideas: one night is the extrovert’s ideal date, one night is the introvert’s ideal date. It also might look like making arrangements for dates where you know you (the extrovert) will probably want to stay longer, so maybe you decide in advance that an uber will be called to take the introvert home when they’re done so the extrovert can stay and fill their cup, too.

7) Don’t try to force them into social situations they are uncomfortable with

Introversion isn’t the same thing as social anxiety or being shy, and an introverted person won’t just “get used to” the same level of social activity that an extroverted person prefers. Relationships require accepting who we are. If you’re trying to change someone, they are not the person for you.

As the relationship progresses and you get to know each other better, you and your significant other will likely find a great rhythm for your relationship. Extroverts often find that they begin to value the quieter, slower-paced activities and times of connection more because of their introverted partner, and introverted partners often find that they enjoy more group social interactions when they have their extrovert partner there to support them.

Some extrovert/introvert couples use a preset “excuse,” code word, or even just a look that can be given when out in public so the introvert can subtly let the extrovert know they need some time to recharge.

You can also learn how to better communicate your feelings for each other by learning what your love languages are, too. Just by reaching out to learn more about dating an introvert, it is likely you and yours will eventually hit your ideal rhythm and your relationship will be all the stronger for the efforts made by both of you to show up as supportive, helpful partners for each other.

How to date an introvert? Fortunately, it is not hard to date an introvert, but there are a few things that you need to know. When dating an introverted partner, you should avoid putting too much pressure on the situation. You should also try to be considerate of their time and space.

Another thing to realize about introverts is that they are not shy, even though some people think so. A shy person will stand outside a group and desperately want to be part of that group, but not be able to join. The introvert will stand outside a group and be happy. The term introvert generally refers to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). The introvert/extravert contrast is one of the things the MBTI identifies. Introversion has to do with energy. Introverts are perfectly fine talking to people, but it generally wears them down. There are many introverts who successfully work in very public jobs, where they spend all day interacting with others. They are successful at their career, and they enjoy it. But it takes a lot of their energy. At the end of the day, they are tired, and they will need some alone time to recharge.

How to date an introvert

How do introverts recharge? By being alone, or at least having peace and quiet. That does not mean that the introvert you are dating will want to spend huge amounts of time without you. Introverts generally have small, close groups of friends. Once you start a relationship, your introvert will be very happy spending huge amounts of time with you. But you have to remember, if they have had a hard day (where they were around a lot of people), they are going to want a quiet evening.

This simply means that you need to do a little planning, or coordinating when spending time with your introvert. If he works from home, or in a quiet office, he will be recharged, and refreshed at the end of the day. He will probably be up for anything (headed to dinner, to your friends, to a bar…). Although probably not every night. If he works in a job where he is surrounded by people all day, he is going to be tired. He will be less likely to want to go out somewhere with you. The planning part? Let him know that you want to go out Thursday night. He will adjust what he is doing at work (if he can), or at least prepare himself for it.

The key to dating an introvert is to remember that he loses energy when he is with a lot of other people. That does not mean he never wants to be around people, but his “default setting” is to be by himself, or with a small, close group of friends. If you are in a blooming relationship, he will want to spend time with you. He is not going to be a social butterfly though. He will be much happier spending quiet evenings with you.

Senior Lifestyle Reporter, HuffPost

How to date an introvert

Dating is rough regardless of your personality type, but it’s especially taxing for introverts who only have so much social energy to spend.

Below, experts on introversion share their best advice for putting yourself out there.

1. Remember that small talk has a purpose.

Small talk is the bane of most introverts’ existence. Why not just cut to the chase and get to real, meaningful conversation? Though small talk can feel a bit hollow and superficial, it’s not supposed to be profound; it’s merely a way of connecting with another person, said Sophia Dembling, author of Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After

“The conversation may or may not go deeper, but trying to start a conversation in the deep end can be very risky,” Dembling said. “It can come off as dumping TMI on the other person.”

Another thing to keep in mind as you go forth and date: Don’t worry if the other person suspects you’re trying to flirt with them ― that’s exactly what you’re trying to do, Dembing reminded.

“Any decent human being, interested or not, will take polite flirtation as the compliment it is.”

2. Party in moderation.

Introverts tend to clam up at big parties, seeking out the nearest snack table, dog or cat. Not going to gatherings ― or decamping to the corner once you get there ― will limit your opportunities to meet new people. Instead, make an effort to socialize on your own terms, said writer and self-professed introvert Jill Savage.

“Introverts do better in smaller groups so instead of staying all evening at the office party, go for a short amount of time and then invite two or three people you like to join you for dessert somewhere else after the party,” Savage said. “You’ll still be socializing but in an environment you’re comfortable in.”

Introverts don’t get ready for a party. They gather strength for a party.

3. Be open to random conversations.

The next time you head out to your favorite coffee shop, don’t be so quick to put in your earphones; Instead, be open to the flurry of conversation around you, said Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, the author of The Genius of Opposites: How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together.

“Opportunities to get off our phones and truly engage are all around if we take the time to look,” she told HuffPost. “I know of several quieter friends who have met their future spouses through chance, random conversations.”

4. Meet new people online.

Introverts tend to communicate better in writing than in conversation. With that in mind, join an online message board for your favorite sports team, or become a fixture in the comment section of a news site, said Laurie Helgoe, a psychologist and the author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength.

“Luckily for introverts, the Internet provides ample opportunities to use our writing skills to reach beyond small talk to connection,” she said.

How to date an introvert

5. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not (like an extrovert).

It won’t do you any favors to skirt the truth when drafting an online dating profile, said Arnie Kozak, a psychotherapist and the author of The Awakened Introvert. If you say you love checking out new clubs and lounges in town, you’re liable to end up at one.

“Clearly state (with pride) that you are an introvert and don’t be afraid to ask someone if he or she is an introvert,” Kozak said. “Knowing all this will make it easier to arrange your first date in a conducive place.”

6. Take the spotlight off yourself.

There are two types of people in this world. Those who walk into a room with a “here I am” mindset and those who walk into a room with a “there you are” mindset, Savage said.

“When you walk into a social setting, instead of being overwhelmed by the crowd and thinking, ‘Here I am, please someone come talk to me,’ pick out one or two people and say to yourself, ‘There you are. I’d like to get to know you better.’ Then focus on striking up a conversation with the person, one at a time.”

7. Keep rejection in perspective.

Try not to dwell too much on romantic rejection, Dembling said.

“It’s not a reflection on you,” she said. “This person doesn’t know you and so the rejection is not personal. It’s most likely about whatever is happening in that person’s life or head at that moment.”

8. Focus on a hobby and meeting people organically through activities.

Be willing to go outside your comfort zone, if only just a little, Helgoe said.

“Take a class, book an expedition, volunteer for a cause you care about,” she said. “Plus, how much better is this option than suffering at a bar, enduring cheesy pickup lines?”

How to date an introvert? Fortunately, it is not hard to date an introvert, but there are a few things that you need to know. When dating an introverted partner, you should avoid putting too much pressure on the situation. You should also try to be considerate of their time and space.

Another thing to realize about introverts is that they are not shy, even though some people think so. A shy person will stand outside a group and desperately want to be part of that group, but not be able to join. The introvert will stand outside a group and be happy. The term introvert generally refers to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). The introvert/extravert contrast is one of the things the MBTI identifies. Introversion has to do with energy. Introverts are perfectly fine talking to people, but it generally wears them down. There are many introverts who successfully work in very public jobs, where they spend all day interacting with others. They are successful at their career, and they enjoy it. But it takes a lot of their energy. At the end of the day, they are tired, and they will need some alone time to recharge.

How to date an introvert

How do introverts recharge? By being alone, or at least having peace and quiet. That does not mean that the introvert you are dating will want to spend huge amounts of time without you. Introverts generally have small, close groups of friends. Once you start a relationship, your introvert will be very happy spending huge amounts of time with you. But you have to remember, if they have had a hard day (where they were around a lot of people), they are going to want a quiet evening.

This simply means that you need to do a little planning, or coordinating when spending time with your introvert. If he works from home, or in a quiet office, he will be recharged, and refreshed at the end of the day. He will probably be up for anything (headed to dinner, to your friends, to a bar…). Although probably not every night. If he works in a job where he is surrounded by people all day, he is going to be tired. He will be less likely to want to go out somewhere with you. The planning part? Let him know that you want to go out Thursday night. He will adjust what he is doing at work (if he can), or at least prepare himself for it.

The key to dating an introvert is to remember that he loses energy when he is with a lot of other people. That does not mean he never wants to be around people, but his “default setting” is to be by himself, or with a small, close group of friends. If you are in a blooming relationship, he will want to spend time with you. He is not going to be a social butterfly though. He will be much happier spending quiet evenings with you.

How to date an introvert

Being an extrovert with a hot temper I find it difficult to deal with introverted people. A few years ago I was dating a very shy man and our relationship collapsed because I couldn’t meet his basic needs and I couldn’t understand fundamental things about being an introvert.

Most people, and I was no exception, credit numerous stereotypes about introverts. Yes, they are reserved, sometimes strange and hard to understand, but they are people as well. Moreover, dating an introverted man can have many advantages. So, what should you remember when dating someone who’s more withdrawn than you? Here are 7 essential tips for dating an introvert.

1 Silence isn’t a sign of estrangement

A different style of communication is the most striking and significant thing about dating an introverted man. My boyfriend kept silent most of the time; thus I had to carry on most of the conversation, which was tiresome at times.

When your man isn’t asking you questions or isn’t joking, most probably he’s not interested in you as a woman. With introverted men, it’s absolutely different. They talk less, but whenever they say something it’s really important to them. Introverts simply don’t waste time on silly talk.

2 Less violent conflicts

If you’re dating an introvert, you will rarely have severe conflicts and fights. Introverts never act and speak rashly. They need a lot of time to reflect on things; therefore their responds are deliberate. Chances are you’ll forget about the argument, but your sweetheart can start talking about it in several days. When you really want to settle a conflict, adopt a patient behavior. An excessive pressure will only lead to distrust and resentment.

3 Your social life will be different

Get ready that your spouse will never be the center of attention at a party, during friend gatherings or a party with unknown people. In fact, introverts don’t lack communication skills and they aren’t anti-social; they just need less time socializing.

You should also be ready to spend a great amount of time at home watching films or reading. Spontaneous and unplanned events are highly stressful and unwelcome for introverted people. You won’t go out every day, but if your leisure time is properly planned, your guy will be more confident and comfortable.

4 Introvert can’t be converted into extrovert

This is the most common mistake most people make when dealing with introverts. You can’t change their temperament and it’s no use struggling with their personality. Being pushy is indeed the worst strategy you can choose. You won’t stir up your partner by asking him thousand questions or telling jokes.

Most probably your man will retreat to save his sanity. You shouldn’t urge your partner to do anything or embarrass him, especially in public. It’s very hard to change yourself and it’s almost impossible to change another person. Remember it.

5 They need more me time

It always made me frustrated, but I couldn’t accept this aspect of our relationship. It doesn’t mean I wanted to spend every second with him, but I suffer when I feel lack of attention. Introverts need more time to recharge their strength and energy.

Stillness and solitude are essential things they will always need. Thus, don’t minimize the importance of me time and try not to take it personally. If you aren’t able to adjust to this need, your relationship would be rather disastrous.

6 Honesty is a huge plus of being an introvert

A great advantage of dating an introvert is that your man will always be honest with you about his feelings and thoughts. Introverts focus their attention on people they are interested in. While extroverts are often superficial and pretended, introverted people say and do exactly what they mean.

Don’t be afraid that you partner is a player or that he might be cheating on you. If you’re dating an introvert, you can be sure you’re the only one in his life. Moreover, introverts tend to stay in long-lasting relationships since they’re very picky when choosing a girlfriend.

7 You should show tolerance and indulgence

Sometimes it’s awfully hard to accept his strangeness and those special needs. It feels difficult to get along with an introvert when you have totally different desires. You want to go to a party, while he tends to stay at home. Or, you’re overflowed with emotions and your partner just can’t take it.

An introvert will never belong to you 100 percent. Introverts seem moody at times because they are utterly introspective and sensitive to their feelings. You should give them a lot of time to process. Remember that a compromise is a pledge of any healthy and long-lasting relationship. Try to understand that your introverted man also makes efforts to handle your relationship, even if you don’t notice that.

It’s up to you to make your extrovert-introvert relationship comfortable and satisfying. Like any other relationships, it requires great work, common efforts and compromise. Just a little understanding and sacrifice will help your relationship flourish and work out. Remember that love is about accepting but not changing a person. Have you ever dated an introverted man or girl?

Senior Reporter, HuffPost Life

How to date an introvert

Introverts and extroverts, different as they might be, often end up as romantic partners. Perhaps it’s a case of opposites attracting; the two personality types balance each other out.

The fundamental difference between innies and outies, as they’re sometimes called, is that introverts require alone time to recharge their batteries, while extroverts gain energy by being around other people. So you can see why they occasionally have trouble understanding each other’s needs.

How to date an introvert

“I’m an introvert while my wife is an extrovert,” relationship writer Seth Adam Smith told HuffPost. “Because of this, the first few years of our marriage were really challenging. I wanted to live in the quiet countryside and spend one-on-one time with her. She, on the other hand, wanted to live in a crowded city and visit with lots and lots of people. In the beginning, our opposing personalities had a negative impact on our relationship.”

Over time, Smith and his wife learned more about what makes the other tick and were able to embrace their differences.

“But after a while ― and, to be honest, after a few ‘heated discussions’ ― we learned that our opposing personalities were actually rooted in the ways we gather strength,” he said. “I gather strength from solitude: reading, hiking by myself or going for long drives. Things like that give me energy, while being around people drains me of energy. As a result, it was difficult for me to understand how my wife gets her strength from being with people. And yet, somehow, she does!”

Below, introverts reveal what they wish their extroverted partners better understood about their “innie” ways.

Note: The last names of some respondents have been withheld to protect their privacy.

1. Small talk is not our cup of tea.

“My wife talks to everyone she meets and always starts conversations with people while we’re out. I just want an invisibility cloak so I don’t have to stand there and laugh awkwardly while screaming inside.” ― Kellie J.

2. But we’re grateful we can lean on you in social situations.

“I’m an introvert in a relationship with a super social extrovert, and after explaining a few things on how we function, he’s incredibly supportive. I feel really safe going out with him. He’s always there to lead conversations when I retreat into my shell and he always makes sure to include me without throwing me into uncomfortable situations. It’s a great combination!” ― Dimitra N.

3. We can turn on our extroverted side when we need to. It’s just really draining for us.

“My extroverted wife always wondered how someone as introverted as I am can be successful at a career that requires a great deal of persuasive human interaction. She would likely believe in my career goals a little more if she understood that introverts often have a secondary personality of sorts that is used to succeed in those situations. Those secondary personalities can effectively communicate with others, but they lack depth.” ― Cody M.

4. We have to mentally prepare before socializing. So try not to spring stuff on us last minute.

“I wish my husband would understand that when we make plans, I’m only mentally prepared to socialize with the people we originally made the plans with. Adding random other people to the mix last-minute can be so mentally exhausting for me, especially if they are people I don’t know well. Although my husband does know this, as an extrovert, he can get excited in the moment and think, ‘The more the merrier’ and invite people out at the last minute like, ‘You are in the area? Come join us!’” ― Nichola Gwon of My Korean Husband

5. Once we’ve hit our limit, we may need to leave the party or event ASAP.

“I’m not someone that is huge on mingling after events. Sometimes my husband would take it as rude when I would go to the car immediately after the event, but I just don’t feel compelled to stay. I don’t like small talk and am already overwhelmed by the actual event, so by the end of it, I am ready to go. I just stay in the car and wait for him to finish. I don’t rush him at all, because I understand that’s his thing and wish he would understand it’s not mine.” ― Temitope Adesina of NaturallyTemi

6. For us, alone time is a necessity. We can’t function without it.

“I hope he understands that when I need alone time, I’m not rejecting him, I’m just recharging. Solitude is a fundamental need for introverts.” ― Marzi Wilson of Introvert Doodles

7. Please, don’t force us to make new friends. We’ll do it our way in our own time.

“My extroverted wife wants couple friends and it would be so much easier to make couple friends if she understood how introverts make friends. Extroverts sometimes try to force the friendship under the belief that an introvert just needs a little help in the friend-making department. That aggressive action usually ruins any possibility of a friendship because it’s way too invasive. If a friendship is going to happen, it will only happen naturally and over time.” ― Cody M.

8. We’re not ‘lazy’ or ‘boring’ just because we need a night in.

“When introverts feel drained, the last thing we want is to be chastised for being lazy or boring. What we truly wish for is a partner with whom we can recharge in tandem. We relish reading or daydreaming in side-by-side silence with the one we love.”― Michaela Chung of Introvert Spring

9. And if we don’t feel like going out, feel free to go without us. We’ll be just fine at home.

“Over the past 18 years, my husband and I have come to an understanding that works for us when it comes to our social calendar. He goes out a lot more often than I do. And it’s important that my alone time be just as sacred on the schedule as his boys’ night out. I am by no means anti-social: I have amazing friends and family that I absolutely adore. But I need quiet time every week to decompress, mentally process all that I’ve taken in and replenish my energy.” ― Kaia Roman, author of The Joy Plan

10. Just because we’re being quiet doesn’t mean we’re mad.

“If I’m quiet and or straight-faced, I’m probably not mad: I’m just people-watching. People fascinate me ― their quirks, mannerisms, inflections in their voice and I’m just observing.” ― Heather T.

Many assume introverts don’t offer enough emotional support. But is it true?

Posted January 16, 2016

THE BASICS

  • What Is Introversion?
  • Find a therapist near me

How to date an introvert

The personality dimension of introversion-extraversion is one of the five basic qualities that psychologists use to differentiate individuals. The “quiet power” of introverts, as identified in Susan Cain’s (2012) highly-regarded book (Furey, 2012), provided long-overdue insights into the many strengths of people on the introverted end of this dimension. Among lay readers as well as researchers, Cain’s findings have had a positive impact.

Because extraversion is so highly regarded as a valued social skill, people who aren’t extraverts (or who try to fake it) may feel that they’re out of sync with our very talkative and oversharing society. But what does this mean for their close relationships? Can you truly experience intimacy if you don’t openly express your feelings? How about the response of the partner of an introvert? How does it feel when your partner prefers silence to your desire to keep up a steady stream of conversation?

Introversion, then, with its associated characteristics of aloofness and a tendency to be withdrawn, might prove to interfere with the support you feel you receive from your partner. When you’re in trouble, will your introverted partner be able to provide the help you need? As cited by Verhofstadt (2007), research suggests that introverts themselves don’t seek social support when they’re stressed. Therefore, they may also be less willing to provide such support when their partners need it. However, in Verhofstadt’s studied of married partners, it was the quality of the relationship, not the personalities of the individuals, that predicted perceived marital support. An introvert will be no more or less likely to help you when you need it, based on this study’s findings.

This is the first piece of good news.

Looking at the broader scope of satisfaction with the relationship, Australian psychologist John Malouff and colleagues (2010) examined the findings of 10 studies on personality and relationship satisfaction among heterosexual partners. The final set of samples that Malouff et al. examined involved nearly 3,900 participants. The news about introversion was not particularly good, in that introverts’ relationship satisfaction was lower than that of more extraverted partners. Moreover, the relationship satisfaction of the introvert’s partner itself was lower than when an individual’s partner was extraverted. This finding held true even when the research team considered the possibility that introverts may tend to marry other introverts, inflating the apparent relationship between personality and satisfaction.

There’s reason to think, however, that it’s not introversion-extraversion, per se, which influences how satisfied people might feel with their partner. This personality dimension does not exist in isolation from other attributes such as neuroticism—the tendency to be anxious and worried—and level of openness to new experiences. The problem with the Australian team’s study was that, as comprehensive as it was, it failed to examine the entire constellation of personality traits when examining introversion.

In fact, most studies of introversion do erroneously examine it in isolation from other personality characteristics, and few look at the impact of attachment style—the tendency that people have to establish secure bonds with others. University of Calcutta psychologists Sangeeta Banerjee and Jayanti Basu (2014) examined personality and attachment style as predictors of relationship satisfaction among 40 couples, including those high and low in marital quality. Among men, lower extraversion was related to poorer marital satisfaction, but so were a set of other qualities including less-secure attachment style and lower coping ability. For women, coping style and perception of social support predicted marital quality.

Returning, then, to the takeaway if you’re currently in a relationship with an introvert: Don’t worry. On its own, your partner’s (or your own) preference for quiet reflection and alone time won’t interfere with your relationship satisfaction. However, if your partner is also higher in neuroticism as well, this could create problems. It can also be difficult to negotiate relationships with partners who are anxiously attached to the point of being clingy. Similarly, partners who are both introverted and high on avoidant attachment may be particularly resistant to efforts to achieve intimacy.

THE BASICS

  • What Is Introversion?
  • Find a therapist near me

To sum up, there are no reasons why introversion on its own should stand in the way of relationship satisfaction. What might be more important to focus on is the extent to which your partner feels comfortable with you. It might mean that, if you’re an extravert who happened to fall in love with an introvert, you need to provide that space from time to time. Your emotional support will be appreciated, and with this sensitivity to your partner’s needs, both your and your partner’s fulfillment can flourish.

Follow me on Twitter @swhitbo for daily updates on psychology, health, and aging. Feel free to join my Facebook group, “Fulfillment at Any Age,” to discuss today’s blog, or to ask further questions about this posting.

By Matt Valentine March 27, 2018

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As an introvert, I know how hard it can be just to ask someone out, let alone have to figure

As an introvert, I know how hard it can be just to ask someone out, let alone have to figure out what you’re going to do– and say– on a date.

Introverts have a lot of wonderful strengths, many of which people are just now coming to appreciate, but interacting with people is definitely not one of them.

Being a bit socially awkward comes with introversion, but a date should be fun. With a little work and some dating tips, you’ll be able to have a great time– and you might just hit it off.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Here are seven dating tips to take the stress and awkwardness out of that first (or next) date:

1. Be yourself– stick with what works

This is a mistake I’ve made several times before, whether for a date or some other big event.

When something special is coming up, we want to make a big impression. However, our first inclination is often to buy new things or act in a different way, thinking that who we are now isn’t good enough.

It is good to want to clean yourself up a bit, but be careful not to swing too far the other way and end up presenting yourself as someone you’re not on your date.

Also, don’t forget– you don’t have to hide the fact that you’re an introvert. Whether they’re an introvert or not, opening up about yourself at the right time can be very endearing and shows the other person you’re willing to honest.

2. Pick something short and fun

Every introvert is different, however, one of the most common traits of introverts is exhaustion from long-term exposure to groups of people.

It’s not that we can’t hang out in groups, it’s just that we really start to lose our energy after a while of being around large groups of people. For that reason, you should pick somewhere– and something– that is short and punchy like dinner and laser tag or a comedy show.

Ultimately, you want the right combination of time to talk and get to know each other and time to just have fun with one another with little talking (in that order). That will not only allow you to keep your energy up, but it will also help you let loose during the second half of the date without having to worry about anything.

3. Choose something you’re familiar with

On the topic of picking the right kind of place (or places) to go on your date, aside from picking something short and fun, it’s also important to go with what you’re already familiar with.

Like the first point, we have a tendency to think we need to do something grandiose to impress our date.

But if you try to take them somewhere new and different, that place will represent who you are in their mind. If things turn out good? Great. If they don’t? Bad. And, if you pick somewhere new, there’s a much higher likelihood things won’t turn out great.

However, if they’re the right person for you, all you should need to do is show them who you are. By choosing something familiar to you, whether it’s a restaurant or activity you love, you know it will be good. And if they don’t like it? Well, that’s probably a pretty good indicator that they’re not right for you.

Plus, you as an introvert don’t have to travel anywhere new and potentially uncomfortable. You can go where you’re already comfortable and therefore will be likely to feel comfortable with being yourself around your date.

4. Visualize the date

Practice makes perfect in just about anything. And, while you can’t exactly predict what will happen on a date, by taking a few minutes before your date to visualize what might unfold, a few things will happen.

First, you’ll be far more comfortable because you’ll have run through everything in your head beforehand. Second, you’ll be less likely to get caught off-guard because you’ll have already thought ahead to each step of the date and what might happen.

And, thirdly, you’ll be able to catch potential issues ahead of time. What do you plan to do when the date is nearing its end? Are you dropping them off, are they dropping you off, or are you each driving separately? How will that change the date? And do you have an exit plan? How will it work?

5. Ask stimulating questions

Great, stimulating conversation is the key to a great date. And the way you create stimulating conversation is with, surprise, great questions.

The quality of your conversation is completely dependent upon your ability to ask great questions and then to listen closely as your date answers those questions. Your questions won’t just tell you what you want to know about the person, they’ll also get your date to open up and allow you both to hit it off, while simultaneously showing them that you really care about what they have to say.

When communicating, it’s really just about getting over the initial hump. If you can get over the awkward phase where both people are apprehensive, you can really start getting to know the other person (and having a lot of fun in the process).

This is also nice because it turns the pressure away from you as much. Once they’ve answered a few open-ended, stimulating questions you feel like you know them better and are then more comfortable with opening up yourself.

6. Shift your perspective

Both sides tend to be far too concerned with impressing the other on a date. As an introvert, you have a tendency to try a little too hard (or think you’re not trying enough, we often can’t decide which).

Let all of that go and instead shift your perspective to providing your date with a fun experience. Whether you planned it or not, just go in to the date thinking, “I’m going to give them an awesome time and have a blast in the process.”

Maintain that as your focal point and you’ll worry less about whether or not you’re impressing them and find it easier to let go and just have fun.

7. Absolutely, positively, do no ruminate

As an introvert, you have a tendency to ruminate. You have a keen memory and a often overthink and ruminate on things. And, more often than not, that rumination leads you to stress and anxiety.

Overthinking rarely has a benefit, and doing so after a date can only lead to bad conclusions. When your date is over, remind yourself that overthinking leads you to skew your perception of past events.

Review the good points of the date and don’t hang on the things that didn’t go so well. Sometimes, what you think didn’t go so well are aspects the other person actually enjoyed.

When I was a kid, I had “introvert” written all over me.

I had friends, but I didn’t love talking during class; I was busy listening.

When I got home from school, I went straight to my room and spent hours there. Sometimes I did homework, other times I drew, read or just sat still and looked out the window. I needed time to myself so I could reflect on the day behind me and feel energized and ready for the next one ahead.

Before I continue, let’s get one thing straight: Being introverted isn’t the same thing as being shy. Introverts simply get their energy from spending time on their own, while extroverts get their fuel from spending time with others.

Despite the fact roughly 50 percent of people in the United States are introverted, our society isn’t one that really understands the nature of an introvert.

The kids who talked in class got the attention and praise from my teachers, and by the time high school rolled around, I started passing up party invitations because I craved a night in with a good book. My friends started calling me “lame.”

So, I adapted. By the time I entered the “real world,” I learned to speak up in meetings, and I started acing interviews.

I learned as long as I had some really close friends who I could have deep, meaningful conversations with on a regular basis, small talk wasn’t so bad. Alone time was still a necessity, but I needed a little less of it.

Maybe I morphed into an extrovert!

Then, online dating happened. Everyone was swiping left and right, obsessively checking their OkCupid profiles and going on multiple dates a week. I was single, so I thought I’d give it a try.

After my first Internet date, there was no question about it: I was mostВ definitelyВ still an introvert.

So, if you think you may have fallen for an introverted guy or girl, here’s what you need to know about dating that person.

Small talk is tough for introverts.

Maybe you can talk about the weather for hours on end, but small talk is difficult for introverts. They’re stimulated by deeper, more meaningful interactions, which is why they’re prone to having a few close friends rather than large groups of acquaintances.

Every time a Tinder date suggested “grabbing a drink,” it sounded harmless enough, but once I actually got there, I usually found myself exhausted within the first five minutes.

Of course, I was vaguely interested in what my date did for work. His summer plans sounded pretty cool, as did his cat.

But after a while, it was hard not to yawn or act at least a little disinterested. Why couldn’t he just tell me about the things he worried about when he couldn’t fall asleep at night?!В ThatВ was a conversation topic I could get on board with.

If you want things to work out with your introverted crush, spare him or her the constant comments about how crazy the weather has been this winter. Try taking the conversation to the next level.

Introverts think before they speak.

Introverts don’t just blurt out the first things floating into their heads. They listen, they reflect on what was said andВ thenВ they respond.

For an introverted person, I went on an impressive amount of dates before getting together with my current boyfriend.

Aside from the particularly silent fellas out there, I was almost always the quieter one on the date. It wasn’t because I was nervous or wasn’t having fun, I just wanted to make sure I could fully understand what was said so I could respond in a meaningful way.

Truth be told, it was exhausting, and I often sent the wrong message.

So if your date talks less than you, don’t take it as a bad sign. Your date just wants to make sure when he or she does speak, it’s meaningful.

Introverts don’t love phone calls.

If you are one of the few people out there who still picks up the phone and calls someone to ask him or her out, good for you!

But if an introvert is the object of your affection, you may want to rethink that one. Introverts see the ringing of theirВ phones as intrusive and viewВ phones as vehicles for much-dreaded small talk.

Take it from me: Send a text.

Introverts approach conflict differently.

Obviously, this one applies to when you’ve gone on more than a few dates with someone, but introverts need some time to think when it comes to arguments and fights.

This can be frustrating for extroverts, who have no problem saying everything they feel as they’re feeling it, but introverts need time to process what they’re upset about.

When I’m dealing with conflict, I need time to think through and process the problem. Sometimes, I need to go home, write about it and then think some more before voicing what I’m angry about.

I can see how this can be frustrating for anyone who doesn’t deal with conflict this way (trust me, it drives my boyfriend nuts), but it’s just the way introverts roll.

Introverts need time to decompress.

One thing I noticed a lot after first dates was even if I had a great time, IВ reallyВ wanted to go home.

Often my date would ask if I wanted to grab a drink at another bar or some food. I almost always said no, which put a lot of guys off.

But it wasn’t personal. Even if I liked the guy, I hated the small talk. I was completely exhausted! I needed some time to gather my energy and be alone with my thoughts.

To be totally honest, I think, sometimes, I didn’t get second dates because of this very quality. TheirВ loss!

Introverts are amazing listeners.

Introverts love to listen. This is why they crave deep conversation so intensely. They want to know about your hopes, your dreams, your worries and your fears.

So if you’re sitting across from a guy or girl who you suspect is an introvert on a first date, youВ never have to worry he or she isn’t listening to you. Your words are more than heard.

I may be a little biased, but I think being a good listener is a super important quality in a relationship. Don’t let a little silence here and there put you off.

Just a little note to all you extroverts out there: If you related to this article, you may be a lot more introverted than you thought.

Senior Reporter, HuffPost Life

How to date an introvert

Introverts and extroverts, different as they might be, often end up as romantic partners. Perhaps it’s a case of opposites attracting; the two personality types balance each other out.

The fundamental difference between innies and outies, as they’re sometimes called, is that introverts require alone time to recharge their batteries, while extroverts gain energy by being around other people. So you can see why they occasionally have trouble understanding each other’s needs.

How to date an introvert

“I’m an introvert while my wife is an extrovert,” relationship writer Seth Adam Smith told HuffPost. “Because of this, the first few years of our marriage were really challenging. I wanted to live in the quiet countryside and spend one-on-one time with her. She, on the other hand, wanted to live in a crowded city and visit with lots and lots of people. In the beginning, our opposing personalities had a negative impact on our relationship.”

Over time, Smith and his wife learned more about what makes the other tick and were able to embrace their differences.

“But after a while ― and, to be honest, after a few ‘heated discussions’ ― we learned that our opposing personalities were actually rooted in the ways we gather strength,” he said. “I gather strength from solitude: reading, hiking by myself or going for long drives. Things like that give me energy, while being around people drains me of energy. As a result, it was difficult for me to understand how my wife gets her strength from being with people. And yet, somehow, she does!”

Below, introverts reveal what they wish their extroverted partners better understood about their “innie” ways.

Note: The last names of some respondents have been withheld to protect their privacy.

1. Small talk is not our cup of tea.

“My wife talks to everyone she meets and always starts conversations with people while we’re out. I just want an invisibility cloak so I don’t have to stand there and laugh awkwardly while screaming inside.” ― Kellie J.

2. But we’re grateful we can lean on you in social situations.

“I’m an introvert in a relationship with a super social extrovert, and after explaining a few things on how we function, he’s incredibly supportive. I feel really safe going out with him. He’s always there to lead conversations when I retreat into my shell and he always makes sure to include me without throwing me into uncomfortable situations. It’s a great combination!” ― Dimitra N.

3. We can turn on our extroverted side when we need to. It’s just really draining for us.

“My extroverted wife always wondered how someone as introverted as I am can be successful at a career that requires a great deal of persuasive human interaction. She would likely believe in my career goals a little more if she understood that introverts often have a secondary personality of sorts that is used to succeed in those situations. Those secondary personalities can effectively communicate with others, but they lack depth.” ― Cody M.

4. We have to mentally prepare before socializing. So try not to spring stuff on us last minute.

“I wish my husband would understand that when we make plans, I’m only mentally prepared to socialize with the people we originally made the plans with. Adding random other people to the mix last-minute can be so mentally exhausting for me, especially if they are people I don’t know well. Although my husband does know this, as an extrovert, he can get excited in the moment and think, ‘The more the merrier’ and invite people out at the last minute like, ‘You are in the area? Come join us!’” ― Nichola Gwon of My Korean Husband

5. Once we’ve hit our limit, we may need to leave the party or event ASAP.

“I’m not someone that is huge on mingling after events. Sometimes my husband would take it as rude when I would go to the car immediately after the event, but I just don’t feel compelled to stay. I don’t like small talk and am already overwhelmed by the actual event, so by the end of it, I am ready to go. I just stay in the car and wait for him to finish. I don’t rush him at all, because I understand that’s his thing and wish he would understand it’s not mine.” ― Temitope Adesina of NaturallyTemi

6. For us, alone time is a necessity. We can’t function without it.

“I hope he understands that when I need alone time, I’m not rejecting him, I’m just recharging. Solitude is a fundamental need for introverts.” ― Marzi Wilson of Introvert Doodles

7. Please, don’t force us to make new friends. We’ll do it our way in our own time.

“My extroverted wife wants couple friends and it would be so much easier to make couple friends if she understood how introverts make friends. Extroverts sometimes try to force the friendship under the belief that an introvert just needs a little help in the friend-making department. That aggressive action usually ruins any possibility of a friendship because it’s way too invasive. If a friendship is going to happen, it will only happen naturally and over time.” ― Cody M.

8. We’re not ‘lazy’ or ‘boring’ just because we need a night in.

“When introverts feel drained, the last thing we want is to be chastised for being lazy or boring. What we truly wish for is a partner with whom we can recharge in tandem. We relish reading or daydreaming in side-by-side silence with the one we love.”― Michaela Chung of Introvert Spring

9. And if we don’t feel like going out, feel free to go without us. We’ll be just fine at home.

“Over the past 18 years, my husband and I have come to an understanding that works for us when it comes to our social calendar. He goes out a lot more often than I do. And it’s important that my alone time be just as sacred on the schedule as his boys’ night out. I am by no means anti-social: I have amazing friends and family that I absolutely adore. But I need quiet time every week to decompress, mentally process all that I’ve taken in and replenish my energy.” ― Kaia Roman, author of The Joy Plan

10. Just because we’re being quiet doesn’t mean we’re mad.

“If I’m quiet and or straight-faced, I’m probably not mad: I’m just people-watching. People fascinate me ― their quirks, mannerisms, inflections in their voice and I’m just observing.” ― Heather T.

How to date an introvert

Does your date hate social interactions, huge crowds, loud parties and friends’ get-togethers? He is an introvert then. Don’t work yourself up because of his behavior. Introverts can really be the best partners indeed. Here are a few tips that’ll help you build a beautiful, lasting relationship with an introvert. Check out these 9 things to do if your date is an introvert.

1. Take the initiative

Dating an introvert might involve a lot of initiation on your part. You’ll have to initiate things right from setting the date to initiating a conversation or even a hand brush or two. Put him at his ease, let him get comfortable with you, then see how much more willing he’s to give in return.

2. Share more

Tell him some intimate details about yourself, which you would normally not share with anyone. Be soft spoken. Show that you really find him special. Being warm and friendly will help him open up and share things with you.

3. Avoid loud arguments

Arguments are bound to happen in a relationship. But when you fight with an introvert, see to it that you don’t raise your voice too much. You’ll just end up forcing him back into his protective shell. After all your efforts, you don’t want him to avoid, sulk and withdraw, right?

4. Set a date at a quiet place

Introverts are basically mellow people. They love quiet places which emanate a sense of peace and calm. If you wish your date to be relaxed and chilled out, go to someplace like the beach or just be at home tonight.

5. Understand and compromise

You need to have a lot of patience and understanding to date an introvert guy. It’s not that he’s humorless or insensitive. Introverts inherently like brooding and introspecting. They may seem aloof and unreachable at times, but that’s them! You’ve got to look at the deeper beauty of them and brush off these periods of stand-offish behavior.

As an introvert, I realize how I can be frustrating to date. I need and enjoy my alone time, but I also like having people close to me to interact with when I need it.

Dating An Introvert

I can only imagine how frustrating this could be for an extravert. The extravert might want to take the time to tell their partner about their day, and what they are planning to do, and they might feel ignored and hurt if the introvert isn’t in the mood to reciprocate. The extravert may mistake this as a sign of rejection, or that they did something wrong.

This confusion and misunderstanding can seem like a daunting task to sort through, but if you recognize that the introvert needs their alone time to function best, it could take some pressure off you.

But That’s Not Fair. They’re Being Selfish.

You may also feel like their introversion is a reason you aren’t compatible. You need someone more outgoing and talkative. However, you might not realize you take some of the introverts strengths for granted sometimes.

We do have our good sides.

The introvert is steadfast and strong.

Many extraverts report that they feel “relaxed” being around introverts. We are able to help get them to calm down a bit, and realize they don’t need to feel pressure to keep the conversation going.

An introvert can also help an extravert reflect a bit more. If the extravert is in a rut, they might keep their own wheels spinning and never actually take time to reflect.

Before you think you need to call it quits with your introvert, remember that there was more to that spark of initial attraction than just their mysterious allure 😉

How to date an introvert

Have you ever felt pressure to ‘act the part’ when dating? Perhaps, you feel like you’re going through the motions as you try to tick all the boxes:

  • Be polite
  • Be interesting
  • Smile a lot
  • Ask the right questions

For introverts, there’s the added pressure to be on and open when our instinct is to have our shields up. Although doing and saying all the ‘right’ things may seem like the best approach, it can actually block chemistry.

A lot of people think that a spark is simply there or it isn’t. But there are little ways to create chemistry with just about anyone. The more you’re able to create a spark of connection with anyone, the easier it will be to have a magical time with that special person who gives you butterflies.

Admit you’re nervous

Admitting how you feel in the moment, whether it be sad, nervous or excited, is powerful. It will allow you both to drop the act and feel more connected. A simple, “I feel nervous, but in a good way” can work wonders.

Create warm fuzzies

Focus on topics, questions and stories that create a sense of warmth. Share something that inspired you or made you laugh. Or ask them what makes them feel happy. The idea is to bring up positive feelings that will make your time together sparkle.

As Maya Angelou once said, “people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Give a compliment

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had girlfriends complain that the person they’re dating doesn’t compliment them enough.

Compliments are more than just empty flattery. Many people’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation, so compliments and words of encouragement (“that’s really impressive”, “you’re so kind”, “thanks for being a great listener”) actually make them feel accepted and loved.

Smile

I know it’s cliche, but a sincere smile goes a long way. If you’re going to stretch your comfort zone in any way, I think this is the best bang for your buck. It only takes a little more energy to smile, but it creates a lot more chemistry.

The trick for introverts is to see smiling as a gift you’re offering your date to make them feel appreciated, rather than something you have to do to make a good impression.

Be grounded and present

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: your presence is enough. Truly grounding yourself in the conversation, making eye contact and focusing on listening rather than judging creates MAGIC on a date.

Create intrigue

Intrigue stems from a sense of mystery. Chemistry stems from a sense of excitement and connection. Finding the ideal balance between the two is the tricky part.

A good rule of thumb is to focus on being warm and present 80% of the time, but also lean back and create a little space between you at times to send off a confident and intriguing vibe.

If you’re an introvert looking for more personalized guidance, check out my 1:1 dating coaching for introverted men.

Be prepared for your introvert to take some time to open up to you. Introverts don’t deliberately keep their partners in the dark about things; often it is they don’t realize something is important to you. So, it might take you having to take the initiative in certain things to do with your relationship or make the first move and initiate sex. Introverts are very self contained people and there are some who lack confidences, or don’t trust they are reading the signs and signals you might send well. So sometimes you might need to be obvious.

Different people have different temperaments and while some enjoy the outdoors socializing experience, others just crave that indoor session of watching movies. There could be this cute girl or dude next door that sort of never seems to leave the house or talk much and could be you’ve been fantasizing about them looking for that magical trick to win them over. Top dating sites specialize in making matches between people with different temperaments and cultural backgrounds. You meet tons of introvert singles who teach you just what appeals to them and makes them smile. Study the introvert mind and be on your way to dating an attractive introverted genius today.

Life is made easier

Meeting and getting comfortable with new people as an introvert may sometimes feel like a punishment.

What’s worse than letting total strangers invade your comfort zone, right?

Now add the pressure of getting it right with romantic relationships, and you are just about ready to explode!

If you are an introvert and struggle to meet new people, here are a few introvert dating tips for shy guys that will come in handy.

13 online dating tips for introverts

It doesn’t get any easier than this

It doesn’t matter whether you are painfully shy or you enjoy your own solitary company way too much. Online dating is as easy as it will get for you as an introvert!

There is a sense of safety that the arrangement provides. That allows you to get to know different people without stepping too far out of your comfort zone.

Be honest when setting up your profile

Your profile is a window into your personality. The last thing you want is to trap yourself in a lie that you will have to keep up with!

So, the #1 rule of dating for introverts is to be honest about who you are and what they will be getting. You could even poke fun at your shy or introverted personality. Just don’t lean in too hard with the self-deprecation.

Do not take on too many interests at once

With online dating, one of the greatest challenges you will have to deal with is having too many options.

Yep, you read that right.

You are probably wondering how it is even remotely possible to have too many interests and suitors. The more, the merrier, right?

If you are an introvert, the last thing you want to do is get overwhelmed by the number of people you are talking to!

Have an idea of exactly what you want

With so many fish in the virtual sea, you will need some help narrowing things down. It doesn’t hurt to have a list of things or tips you are looking for in a potential partner.

Now, this doesn’t mean that you turn into a stereotypical rom-com protagonist with an actual list of must-have traits. Not at all. However, knowing your must-haves and non-negotiables is an excellent way to weed out the wrong people.

Choose the right type of person

Personality compatibility is essential, especially as an introvert. You need someone who will understand when you have one of those days when you just don’t feel like talking; someone who will not push you to be social if you are not comfortable.

While it is possible to find an understanding extrovert, it goes without saying that life is easier with a fellow introvert.

Be honest with yourself (and about yourself)

Being an introvert is not a disease. It is not something to be ashamed of. And it is most definitely not something you need to change to find love.

Therefore, be as authentic as you possibly can. It is also important to inform potential matches of your introverted disposition.

That will allow them to get a better idea of what to expect while also giving them a chance to run while it is still early.

You do not owe anyone anything

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being shy or withdrawn or whatever other forms your introvert nature takes.

However, this does not mean that people get to walk all over you or use you in any way when it comes to online dating.

Remember how easy it is to turn down that party invitation in real life? Well, use the same zeal to turn down anyone you do not feel you vibe with. They will get over it.

It takes two to tango

Online dating is about mutual effort. Being an introvert does not excuse you from making any effort.

Remember that for every one person you are interested in, there are several more people also shooting for it.

So, you need to bring your A-game – pick up your phone, be the one to text first, and work with the person to keep the conversation flowing.

Choose active dates

One of the biggest challenges of dating as an introvert is knowing how to break the ice or carry a conversation, especially when you are new to each other. This is why active dates are so awesome as they allow you to let loose and focus on anything else other than struggling to find something to talk about.

Anyone can make the first move

This fun little tip applies mainly to female introverts interested in online dating. Gone are the days when damsels had to wait for dashing gents to make the first move!

Making the first move is a great way to be a part of this new age of love and also to get over your reservations. It will rip you out of your comfort zone and drag you into a whole new world, and it will be worth it.

Prep ahead for conversation topics

If you know that conversation does not flow easily for you, it doesn’t hurt to prepare. This doesn’t mean coming up with a script and scribbling it on your hand like some underdog character in a rom-com.

However, having conversation topics lined up could help you keep that ball rolling. Read these online dating conversation starters to help you make the first move!

There are sites ideal for introverted personalities

Not all online dating websites are the same. Some are perfect for outgoing, bubbly personalities, while others are built to accommodate introverts just like you.

The tip here is to find these sites and make them your priority if you are serious about finding love online.

But ditch the apps if they stress you out

Online dating may help you avoid physical interaction, but it is every bit as socially draining. As an introvert, it is almost inevitable that the whole process will get old and stressful with time. If it starts to feel like a chore, then take some time out to recharge before getting back into it.

How to date an introvert

Congratulations! You’ve taken the leap and finally downloaded that dating app that your friend recommended months ago. You go to sign up, filled with anticipation, and then you’re asked to fill in your profile. It’s not an easy task, especially for introverts who tend to be private by nature.

But it can be done. As the founder of So Syncd, a dating app based on personality types with a user base of over 70% introverts, I’ve seen my fair share of introvert dating profiles. Plus, as an INFP personality type, I’m an introvert myself.

Here are some tips to help you create your perfect profile as an introvert.

How to create a dating profile if you’re an introvert

PACK YOUR PROFILE WITH PERSONALITY

There’s no sugar coating it; if you want to go on great dates and (hopefully!) meet your soulmate, you’re going to have to put yourself out there. Sharing details about yourself with people you’ve never met can feel unnatural as an introvert but the more of your personality you can show in your profile, the better. It can also help with conversation starters.

DON’T GO OVERBOARD WITH DETAIL

You absolutely want to get your personality across but there’s a balance between sharing enough about yourself to give someone a flavour of what you’re like and sharing too much. Profiles with more information do see higher activity on our app up until a point. No one needs to know that you had an argument with your sister-in-law three years ago or that you eat the same salad for lunch every day. Think of your profile as a book blurb; you need to add just enough information to intrigue potential dates and make them want to know more.

SHOW NOT TELL

It’s better to give examples that show your personality traits rather than claim to be a certain way. For example, instead of saying you’re an introvert that loves to read, add a couple of sentences about your favourite book and explain why you love it so much. Or instead of saying you have a great sense of humour, explain that you were voted class clown in your high school yearbook.

ADD FUN PHOTOS THAT ARE FLATTERING YET REALISTIC

Profiles with multiple photos get more attention. You should aim to add at least three photos of you by yourself and then you can add a couple more with friends if you like. Your photos should be flattering yet realistic. It’s completely fair to show your best side in your photos (in fact, you should) but you don’t want people to feel duped when you meet in person because you don’t look anything like your profile photos.

IF IN DOUBT, ASK YOUR FRIENDS

If you’re stuck, ask a couple of trusted friends for advice. Even better, make a girls’ night out of it and talk dating app profiles over pizza and wine. It can help to have a fresh pair of eyes look over your profile. They’ll see you in a different way to how you see yourself and they might even come up with some original ideas of their own.

BE POSITIVE

Keep your profile full of positive vibes. Stamping “no commitment phobic men” on your profile is not a good look. It might be what you’re thinking but negativity isn’t attractive. Plus, when something is written down it can come across in a more serious tone to how you originally meant it. It’s totally fine to state what you want in a partner but it should be framed in a positive way. For example, you could say that you are looking for a partner who is good with kids because you’ve got two wonderful daughters.

Dating as an introvert can be challenging. Introverts need a partner who understands the intricacies of their personality, including their need for alone time and the fact that they won’t be out having dinner with friends every night of the week.

Creating an awesome dating profile that attracts the right kind of partner is the first step towards this and taking the time to do it well is an investment in the long run. You can get a head start by following these tips.

How to date an introvert

Shy, dreamy and serious – the introverts, with their quiet charm, have a way of sweeping you off your floor. Dating an introvert is not the same as dating any normal guy; it’s like going through layers of wrapping before you finally find the gift. Here are 6 things to know before dating an introvert.

1. Reactions are sparse

Just because he looks bored, upset or uncaring, does not mean that he really is. In fact, he may be fine or even in the best of moods! With introverts, you really can’t tell. Also you need to stop asking yourself questions like “Is something wrong?” or “Is he angry?” You just need to stop feeling judged by his silence. If he is silent, he may either be in deep reflection or thinking about the best way to put forward something that he wants to say.

2. You will have to handle the talking department

When you’re with an introvert, you will mostly find yourself doing the talking or at least initiating them. In the initial days, you may have a bit of a tough time thinking about things to talk about but that will eventually get better as you start getting closer and he starts warming up to you.

3. Social events will cause uneasiness

Never leave your introvert boyfriend alone in a party. Introverts hate facing situations where they have to interact with lots of people. Social events are something that an introvert will try his best to wriggle out of. At parties of friends and family, it’s you who will have to head the conversation, tell his stories on behalf of him, tell people how you both met and talk about the fun things that happened on your last vacation.

What can INTJ men do to have more success with dating?

Life, including dating, is particularly rich and interesting when you’re an INTJ man.

Like other introverted personality types, you have a deep inner world. And because you’re an intuitive and thinking type, you likely have an excellent grasp on how things work.

Yet your personality type can encounter certain obstacles when it comes to learning how to date when you’re an INTJ man.

Whether you’ve just found out your Meyers-Briggs personality type or you’ve known yours for years, today’s post is made with love just for you.

We’ll help you build a successful strategy to date as an INTJ man by…

  • figuring out what awesome qualities you bring to relationships,
  • opening yourself to the emotional side of things, and
  • learning which personality types are most likely to complement yours in a relationship.

When we’re finished, you’ll have a clear plan of action designed to improve your dating life and get real results. An INTJ’s dream! 😉

First, let’s talk about the INTJ personality in a broader sense.

What sets INTJ men apart from other personality types?

Like all archetypes in the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), the letters INTJ form an acronym describing your major defining characteristics.

INTJ stands for…

  • Introversion,
  • INtuition,
  • Thinking, and
  • Judging.

Your type profile holds a wealth of information on what exactly these characteristics mean.

Like the INTP type that we covered last week, INTJs observe the world on a very internal basis. You thrive best when you have time alone to recharge (introversion), and you navigate situations with your well-honed intuition.

You primarily make decisions based on logic and reason (thinking) more than your feelings or the feelings of others.

The final characteristic, judging, describes the way you interact with the world.

You likely make plans well in advance and feel most at ease when you follow a clear plan of action that you have laid out methodically as the result of your logical conclusions.

Creating long-lasting relations is quite a challenging task in the contemporary world, especially if it goes about introverts. Psychologists tend to classify people’s character into the two general categories like extroverts – affable charismatic people who grab all the attention instantly, and introverts – reserved individuals who hate being in overcrowded places. Their energy is radiated inwardly and it mostly concentrates rather on their own feelings. According to the common belief, introverts serve as an embodiment of the aloof and extremely antisocial people, too shy to be at the center of attention. Nevertheless, their personalities usually hide explicit profoundness and richness of soul which isn’t visible at first glance. That’s why if you decide to date the introvert, there’re a few things you should know.

How to date an introvert

They aren’t shy

Unfortunately, lots of people accept such a ridiculous thought that all the introverts are utterly shy which isn’t right. They aren’t shy. They simply like observing while someone is telling jokes in front of the company. Make the first step to start the conversation and you will understand that he or she is rather an interesting person who easily maintains the conversation. But take into consideration, while dating the introvert frivolous jokes or watching together reallifecam shows for fun aren’t acceptable. Be careful and don ‘t ruin your relationships at once!

They need personal space

Those people need some time of loneliness, far away from the crowd. Having long walks on their own and reading a book in the park is a normal thing. It is necessary for them to restore the inner balance and order their thoughts and complicated feelings. Sometimes the vivid yarning of loneliness can transfer into a serious problem in case you want to spend more time with your loved one. But be patient and take into consideration the natural need of the introvert for personal space.

How to date an introvert

They make thoughtful decisions

Spontaneous actions or unpredictable decisions aren’t about introverts. Before doing something they have to consider all the possible options and only after that they take a final decision. It makes them quite dubious and suspicious about everything as well as extremely careful. They are often afraid of being fooled, so before creating serious relationships you need to gain their trust.

Introverts are perfect listeners

They know how to comfort you and are always ready to support you in case you need them. These people easily keep the secrets of others what makes them valuable friends. Introverts are capable of listening to others and will never judge you. At the same time be careful with your words and compliments; don ‘t flatter unnecessary. The introvert is able to understand when you are insincere in a few minutes and it may insult their fragile soul.

Generally, the classification of people according to their temperament is too rough. The character of each person comprises a unique mixture of different virtues and it would be foolish to claim that there exists a typical introvert or extravert.

How to date an introvert

In This Article

Introverts often end up being in romantic relationships with an extroverted personality despite the fundamental difference present in their temperament.

Dating as an introvert is a difficult task for many people, and no matter how much introverts balance extroverts out, the relationship is tricky. The question arises, can introverts and extroverts be in a relationship that is happy and long-lasting?

When it comes down to loving an introvert and introvert relationship advice, there are many different areas that you must know.

However, with the right kind of information, you can find out what an introvert needs in a relationship . Also, to understand how to have a relationship with an introvert and how to deal with introverts in a relationship, keep on reading. This article is full of introvert dating tips!

Being in a relationship with an introvert

If you are married to, romantically interested and even dating an introvert, there are a couple of things you should know. These dating tips for introvert will help you in knowing what to do and what not to do.

1. Do not take it personally when they need time

The first introvert dating tip you should know about is that introverts need some time alone and this has nothing to do with their partner. It does not mean that they are mad or drifting apart.

It just means that they need to recharge themselves so that they can come back and be in the moment entirely with their partner.

2. They do not need small talk

When dating an introvert woman, you must know that the general and small chit chats can get on their nerves. They do not like it, nor do they appreciate it, and it soon becomes awkward for them.

However, dating as an introverted man or women, you must know that in-depth talks are what catches their attention. Meaningful topics can make introverts ramble on and on with keen interest.

3. Do not try and change them

When loving an introvert keep in mind that they value your opinion the most.

If you so much as tell them that you need them to change their personality or their habits, they will shut themselves off and push you away.

So instead, try to understand the difference in their nature and know that they have their way of loving you. Remember, introverts in love are the most caring and sensitive people, but once they shut themselves out, they can be very mean and challenging to get along with.

How to date an introverted man

Whether you want to date a man or need to know how to date an introverted woman, there are certain things you should know. These things include:

  1. Sometimes introverts need a slight push in order to become social.
  2. After some time in a crowded place or a party, an introvert will start to distance themselves and retreat.
  3. If you want to get your introverted boyfriend/girlfriend out of the house, then you must plan out your social calendar beforehand.
  4. Introverts do not like talking to many people and so do not get confused with their quietness as them being uninterested.
  5. Make sure that you pay extra attention to their actions since they are not comfortable with speaking up.
  6. You cannot change introverted person personalities, so do not even try.

Introvert personality and relationships

Many people can be too introverted for a relationship, and this term may confuse any extrovert when they first hear it.

A relationship with an introvert can be a tricky yet the best relationship you can be in. In order to know how to date as an introvert , you can read the introvert relationship advice mentioned below and know more. This can also be helpful in understanding how to date an introverted man.

  1. Introverts perform best when in pair and with the one they love the most.
  2. If in an extrovert-introvert relationship, make sure to make plans that suit both of you .
  3. Introverts show love with their actions instead of their words.

Can introverts find love?

Like every other human being, introverts are very much capable of finding love. They are down to the right and simple human beings that like to spend time with the people they are comfortable around.

Should introverts date extroverts?

The answer to this difficult question is yes; introverts and extroverts are very much capable of being in a relationship as long as both the parties learn to compromise. With the above mentioned introvert relationship advice, an extrovert or introvert can live in a happy and long-lasting relationship without any issue.

Make use of the above-mentioned points; know the answer to questions such as how to date as an introvert ? How do introverts show love? Can introverts fall in love? And get them all answered.

Whether you want to know how to date a woman or a man, you have found your answers. Also, you now know what it’s like dating an introverted woman or man.

Are you an introvert looking for a love relationship? No matter if you are an outgoing introvert or a shy introvert, you need to start working on your perfect plan!

Dating as an introvert can be super easy and so much fun. We help you to understand your secret introverted talents and how to find love and friendship.

Step 1: Getting Ready For Dating

If we want to do the next step in life, we need to be ready and clean up our past. Here are some very important questions to check if you are ready for dating.

  • Are you really open to a new adventure? Or is there anything that holds you back, like emotional pain? Rejection is very common, for example.
  • Have you gotten rid of your past relationship experiences, or are you secretly dreaming of wanting to rebuild an old relationship?

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

  • Companionship
  • Marriage
  • A romantic relationship
  • A needy one where you want someone else to fulfill certain needs?

What kind of person are you looking for?

It helps to set a certain kind of compass so that you know what you are looking for. Here are some examples that could describe a potential partner

  • Generous
  • Loving
  • A Giver (Takers focus on getting as much as possible from others)

What are you ready to give? What can you offer to a potential partner?

Here are some ideas.

  • Friendship
  • Loyalty
  • Admiration
  • Emotional support like warmth
  • Fun and humor
  • Sharing house chores

Keep in mind that finding the right person is primarily a mental process, after all. It is about focussing your mind on your goal.

Step 2: Develop a Plan For Dating

Introverts are often a little insecure. Therefore dating with a plan can boost their confidence.

  • Make sure to start each conversation with “pleasantries” that make the other person feel good.
  • Did you know that introverts are extraordinarily good at listening? Prepare some opening questions to ask. They should be general, like the weather or referring to a current event.
  • Try to find out what the other person is looking for. It is amazing how many people pretend they are looking for a new relationship and even love”. “But in reality, they are still emotionally involved with an ex-partner. Others might simply look for a nightstand or want to be friends with benefits.
  • Consider developing categories of what the other person is looking for to make sure you reach your personal dating goal.
  • Prepare some open-ended questions that you find interesting and meaningful to get the conversation on a deeper level. Here are some examples that are proven to work.
  • What values describe you best?
  • What are you willing to give in a relationship?
  • Are there one or more things that you would like your partner to do for you?
  • Remember: Smiling and looking into people’s eyes makes most people feel good..
  • Consider studying your own face mimic like smiling in front of a mirror and listening to your own voice. Then you can both use it as a tool because a voice can sound warm and caring or simply full of joy and fun.
  • Make notes of what worked for you and what didn’t. Pay especially attention to how you felt when trying different strategies.

Step 3: Meeting Someone

After preparing yourself for dating, it is time to meet someone.

Dating Sites for Introverts:

According to Mashable, those are some of the best dating sites for Introvert singles.

Bumble

Here women always have to make the first move and decide whether or not to chat or take connections further. That means that a guy has no risk and a woman is free to guide the communication.

Elite Singles

A personality test identifies the traits that really make you who you are. The dating service can match you with exactly the type of personality you’d be most compatible with. Thus introverts automatically get matched with each other.

Eharmony

Your profile is only visible to the people who are a good match for you, so the experience can help to narrow your potentials down to only those who are actually a good fit.

Online Dating For Introverts

Online dating seems perfect for introverts. It even gets better when you follow these rules:

  • Only date someone if you have a good gut feeling. Trusting your gut helps you to make good people’s choices.
  • Set yourself a time limit and communicate it openly. This makes you more interesting and protects you from wasting your time with people you don’t feel comfortable with.

Start working on your personal dating journey today. Preparation is a major part of your road to a new relationship.

How to date an introvert

In This Article

They say opposites attract . This statement cannot be truer when it comes to the introvert personality type. Nine out of ten introverts find themselves with extroverts when it comes to romantic liaisons, despite the key differences in dispositions. Perhaps, it is their exact personality type that draws them towards each other .

Are introverts affectionate?

Extroverts prove to be wonderful partners to introverts, as they help ease their loved ones into the world and make them used to the hustle and bustle without it all gets overwhelming.

Extroverts are loud when they are in love. They will jump and shout it all from the top of a tower.

Whereas, to find whether an introvert is in love requires a keen eye. For introverts, they use their own peculiar way to express their feelings. They help their extrovert partner channel their feelings on a much bigger scale and settle down.

Introvert personality and relationships are difficult to pin down. As they shy away from words so much, that if one does not pay attention, they will miss everything. They are very low-key about their feelings and are also not fond of socializing.

Can introverts be in relationships?

Many people wonder several things about introverts due to lack of awareness. Therefore, many also wonder can introverts be in relationships or not. Since introverts are a slightly bit withdrawn, it takes a keen eye actually to see an introvert’s true potential, real self.

Being in love with an introvert is an amazing emotional ride, as they are quiet and reserved when it comes to social outings.

They prove to be great observers.

Introvert personality and relationships are extremely complicated, as they hardly ever express their emotions and sometimes even bottle things up. They tackle any problem head-on and are very much in tune with themselves – though they almost never show it.

Handling an introvert personality and relationship is a tough task; however, if done correctly, it is a ride worthwhile.

Things to know about being in a relationship with an introvert

If you are married to, or are in a relationship with an introvert, or even if you are romantically interested in one, here are a few pointers to ease you into a conversation to avoid any and all introvert-extrovert relationship problems –

1. An introvert’s decompression means staying in

After a long week of everyday struggle, when exhaustion tries its best to pull you under, a number of people crave to go out of the town for an evening just to decompress and re-energize.

They recharge themselves by talking and dancing with, perhaps, complete strangers or a group of friends. It refreshes them and rejuvenates them for the upcoming week.

In contrast, introverts find the idea of socializing tiresome . Their job is a necessity to them; everyone needs to get paid. However, the idea of extending the requirement to further expand their social circle by going out to pubs seems like a hell of a task.

This is where the idea loses its charm.

Kindly, do not challenge an introvert’s desire to stay at home during the weekends by pointing out that “normal people” tend to go out and have fun. The insinuation that there is something inherently abnormal about an introvert does not sit well with them.

2. Do not appreciate the lecture

Introverts are already aware of the fact that they are ‘stay-at-home’ couch potatoes, who talk the least they can.

They do not need you to remind them how much they are missing in life constantly. The constant reminder that they have been silent for a while, or that they need to talk more will only put pressure on them and cause them anxiety as well.

If you need a talkative friend, then you are barking up the wrong tree, my friend.

3. It takes an introvert a while to fully unveil themselves

Introverts are extremely mindful and respectful of others.

As they are afraid not to impose or put a burden on anyone, they remain quiet and endure whatever comes their way. Be it more work, unflattering rumors, or just assumptions regarding them from others.

Introverts are very picky when it comes to having friends.

Having a large group of rowdy friends who cannot put two words together in a conversation to save their life but knows how to party is not the kind of people that an introvert would generally look for.

Introvert personality and relationships go hand in hand, they have a small but highly intellectual group, as their entertainment comes from having deep and meaningful conversations.

4. Introverts require that occasional nudge

In order to survive, introverts require the occasional nudge, though they will never admit to it.

This is where having an extrovert partner pays up.

As love-y dove-y an introvert describes their home relaxation time to be, life is all about balance; and though they will never admit, the introvert depends on their extrovert partner to snatch and pull them out of the house for a night out in town.

However, this trust is hard to earn for the extrovert. They have to be very careful and not push the introvert further away due to unprecedented nagging.

When it comes to introverts in love relationships, they are very protective about their personality and identity, and it should not be taken lightly.

5. Please, do not try to change them

Last but definitely not the least, the worst you can do with an introvert is to try and change them, either by love or force.

This is a part of their personality. No matter what you do, they will never change, nor should they. If you love them, then it was their mild and quiet personality that drew you in, then why the personality make-over now?

After all, you know your partner best , extrovert or not, do what makes your loved one happy. Make your own rules and follow them. Be your own example to the world.

How to date an introvert

He’s the life and soul of the party whereas she likes to leave a couple of hours before it ends. They’re your classic extrovert-introvert couple. There are noticeable differences between how introverts and extroverts live their lives but, when dating, they can balance each other out perfectly.

An introvert-extrovert relationship can be fulfilling in a lot of ways. Introverts encourage extroverts to take time to slow down and introspect. Extroverts inspire introverts to get out there and do things they’d never usually do.

But if you’re an extrovert dating an introvert, there can be friction if you don’t take time to understand each other’s differences. Today we share seven tips for extroverts dating introverts.

1. Don’t take it personally

Introverts, by definition, like their alone time. They might love you more than anything in the world but they’ll still need to spend time by themselves in order to recharge. It’s best for everyone. An over-socialised introvert is not a pretty sight.

2. Realize that introverts need space to think

You might want to resolve an argument in the moment, but your introvert might need time to process their thoughts. Extroverts tend to think out loud while introverts prefer quiet environments to process their thoughts, so they might not want to respond right away during an argument.

3. Accept that you’ll have completely different social lives

You might have different groups of friends that you see on different nights of the week, whereas your introvert will lead a different kind of social life. Introverts appreciate friends just as much as extroverts but they won’t spend as much time with them.

How to date an introvert

4. Embrace that introverts don’t do small talk

Introverts find small talk draining. It’s genuinely exhausting for introverts to talk at length about the weather or the birthday party of your auntie’s best friend. Seeing as introverts have limited social energy, they’d rather spend it on deeper topics that forge meaningful connections.

5. Avoid date nights in loud bars

Introverts are more sensitive to noise than extroverts. The kind of situation that gives you a buzz might completely overwhelm your introvert. And science can explain why. Extroverts have a more active dopamine reward network compared to introverts. So if you’re an extrovert dating an introvert, swap a loud bar date for a more peaceful setting.

6. Appreciate that introverts are happy listening

Your introvert will probably do more listening than talking, at least at first. When meeting new people, introverts are happy to stay out of the spotlight and observe what’s going on. They’ll appreciate having you to carry the conversation as it takes the pressure off them.

7. Accept your introvert as they are

Despite the ‘introvert-friendly movement’ making good headway, a lot of introverts feel like they don’t fit in. The world is still set up for extroverts and extroversion is rewarded. Accepting your introvert as they are is one of the best things you could do for them.

How to date an introvert

Extrovert-introvert dating

These tips will help pave the way for smooth introvert-extrovert dating phase and beyond. We can guarantee that your efforts in understanding and accepting your introvert will be appreciated.

And, of course, let’s not forget that you have needs too that your introvert should recognize. Just because someone is an introvert, it doesn’t mean that they have the green light to do whatever they want and completely disregard your desires.

Like all aspects of a relationship, it should be a two-way street. Sometimes mutual understanding will do the trick and other times you’ll need to compromise. For example, you might want to chat after a long day at work while your introvert might want to retreat to their man cave. There will be a way of meeting each other half-way.

Find your introvert on So Syncd

If you’re an extrovert looking to date an introvert (or vice versa), sign up to So Syncd to meet your perfect personality match. You can download So Syncd in your iOS or Android app store.