How to deal with hypocrites

Every one of us has had to have faced a family member or friend who is hypocritical very often. They always find faults or advise you about your personality, job, habits, etc., and can hurt your self-confidence badly. On the other hand, they never seem to follow their advice themselves. Here, we offer a few tips on how to deal with hypocrites, to arm yourself with when faced with such a situation.

Every one of us has had to have faced a family member or friend who is hypocritical very often. They always find faults or advise you about your personality, job, habits, etc., and can hurt your self-confidence badly. On the other hand, they never seem to follow their advice themselves. Here, we offer a few tips on how to deal with hypocrites, to arm yourself with when faced with such a situation.

Doing this is never easy. You have to be alert at all times. People might simply exude sincerity in their mannerisms and words, but one should still be cautious and not accept a person at face value. Every person, including yourself, should prove themselves multiple times, before becoming worthy of trust.

If a person is judging and pointing faults at you, it is important that you not feel guilty. You know your situation best, and your reasons for your behavior. Keep things in perspective to be stress-free. You don’t have to listen just because they are talking.

While hypocrites do not follow their own advice, most of the time their inputs comes out of a genuine concern for you. While their constant criticism can be overbearing, finding the reasons behind their behavior can definitely lessen the stress on you.

No matter how strong one’s beliefs are, no human has been able to match their actions accordingly, all the time. Compromises are constantly made, and deeds are done which contradict our thoughts. So, to a certain degree, each one of us is a hypocrite. Unfortunate though it is, this is a deeply embedded part of human society.

Being upfront and honest with co-workers or family members about your feelings on their hypocrisy will ensure that they will not bug you for a while. However, it can also lead to hurt feelings and blocks in relationships, which is why calmness and politeness is very important. This approach takes practice and thought, which may not be easy for everyone. But the rewards are worth it.

This should be the last resort, as ignoring the person will not really make the problem go away, but only delay the next confrontation. This measure is only to be used if you cannot resolve your differences after repeated attempts, and you find that the hypocrisy is actually harming you.

If a hypocrite criticizes you, sincerely take a look at what he is saying, and whether it is genuinely a good solution to the problem. Remember, it is not important whether you are right or wrong, but that the situation is completely resolved. You might find that their advice benefits you in the end, even if they don’t follow it themselves.

Directly accusing a hypocrite of not practicing what he preaches is useless, as such people tend to immediately go on the defensive, and try to divert the attention back onto you or someone else. Your best bet would be to use subtle suggestions which will gradually bring their attention to what they are doing, and if and when they do follow through, make sure to be appreciative, without pointing out their past faults.

A good way to dismiss hypocrites is to listen to them silently, and afterwards share your feelings about the absurdities with your friends, to get it off your chest. If the hypocrite is your friend, confide in a family member, and so on.

It is important to get rules defined as to one’s duties, and think about the situations which bring out hypocritical behavior in a person. This will allow you to be prepared well in advance. Now you can persist in your resistance, or accept that the person will not change, and that you are the better person.

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Friendship, Personalities

How to deal with hypocrites

Hypocritical people can be infuriating and frustrating to deal with, especially when they criticize the way you conduct your life!

Few people want to be told what to do or how to do it. And even fewer than that want to be told what to do by someone who doesn’t practice what they preach. It’s hard to look at that person as someone trustworthy or speaking with your well-being in mind.

However, sometimes a person you perceive as being a hypocrite may have a streak of truth in what they have to say. The truth is that there is not a single person on this planet who can completely and totally act in line with their personal beliefs.

In fact, there may be times when that actually isn’t the right thing to do!

Consider a leader, like a politician. They may not personally believe in a particular ideal, but still, they follow through with that ideal because it’s what their constituents want.

On the one hand, people can point at that politician and call them a hypocrite because they are, in that situation. On the other hand, they’re also acting in a way that is consistent with democracy. Their job isn’t to do what they personally feel is best. Their job is to uphold the will of the voters.

Of course, life doesn’t always work out that way, but it’s not so easy to simply say hypocrites are always bad. They’re not. Sometimes they are doing or saying what they feel is best, regardless of their own personal experiences and beliefs.

How you handle a hypocrite will depend on what kind of influence they are having in your life. Here are some key pieces of advice.

1. Listen to what they have to say.

Be open-minded and listen to what the person has to say. You may not agree with it, but you can take the time to hear what they have to say to see whether or not they have any useful insights into your situation.

Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. Either way, you won’t know unless you take a few minutes to hear what they have to say.

2. Determine the intent behind the words.

The intent behind the words is important. Consider a long-time alcoholic sitting down to tell you that you really need to consider getting sober now instead of waiting until your life falls apart.

He may be able to tell you in-depth how alcohol has ruined his life, cost him his marriage, a relationship with his kids, and jobs, all the while polishing off a can of beer.

Is that man a hypocrite? Yes.

The truth of the matter is that it is difficult to get sober, and he may have tried several times. That advice is solid, even though it’s coming from someone who isn’t practicing what he preaches. The intent behind his words is to save you the suffering of his life.

On the other hand, maybe you have a judgmental parent who is quick to say how wrong you live your life. They may know you as your parent, but they may not necessarily have your best interests in mind if they aren’t a healthy person.

Maybe they’re trying to coerce you down a path they want you on or that they think applies to you, rather than what is actually best for you. The parent may not know you well enough as an adult to make that kind of judgment call.

Intent matters behind the advice that a person gives.

3. Consider whether or not they have a valid point.

How valid is their criticism? Is it something that might help you? Does it not fit you or your life at all?

If the point is valid and the person isn’t trying to harm you with their advice, it might help to have a conversation with them to figure out where they’re coming from. Their experience or knowledge may be something that you need in order to get through a situation in your own life.

If they genuinely care about you and your well-being, this should be an okay conversation to have, and they will likely want to talk it out with you further. Approach the conversation from a neutral stance to best facilitate communication.

But maybe they don’t have a valid point. Maybe they’re just talking because they like to gossip or tell other people what to do with their life. In which case, continue with step 4.

4. Set a firm boundary.

You’ll need to set a firm boundary without throwing gasoline on the flames of an argument. Do not approach the person with anger, or you will end up in an easily avoidable conflict.

Instead, inform them that you’ve heard what they have to say, but you don’t agree, and their suggestion is not what you want to do. You’re not open to discussing it further and want the subject to be dropped.

This should be enough if they are a reasonable person and generally care about you. If they’re not, then you’re just going to have to take things further and implement step 5.

5. Reduce contact and ignore their advice.

Simply put, you can’t control the actions of other people. The only thing you can really do with that situation is not to get involved.

If they insist on criticizing you and your life, then you’ll just need to reduce contact with the person and let their advice slide off your back.

Confronting and arguing with the person is rarely a good idea. That usually just causes the person to dig in and defend themselves harder. In many cases, it’s a pointless waste of time and just an easy way for you to blow a lot of emotional energy for no real gain.

Dealing with a hypocrite is frustrating, but you can’t really control their thoughts or what they choose to do. All you get to control is how you respond to it.

Don’t waste your anger on it. If anything, be bored with it. Just shrug and say, “Yeah, whatever.” And then get on with your life. You don’t have to care what the hypocrite in your life thinks about you.

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What do you feel about hypocrisy? Do you think it is easy to deal with hypocrites?

Let us inform you that dealing with a hypocrite is always a hard time.

Especially when you face hypocrisy in the workplace. You will feel like you never want to work with them. However, you need to deal with dishonesty.

Here are some of the ways to deal with the bunch of hypocrites that you are working with.

1. Know what is hypocrisy and the hypocritical behavior

What people need to know before they try to come out to face the hypocrites is how they behave.

You need to know that hypocrisy might turn you off sometimes, but you need to stay alert.

The very first thing that you can do is keep your mind fresh and not lose your temper.

You need to make sure that no one can affect your day with their words and actions.

If you find someone doing this, you can count backward or take a deep breath.

Therefore, with this, you will try to escape hypocrisy and get out of it.

Also, make sure that you don’t interact with the hypocrites often.

If you are to have a conversation with the hypocrites in the workplace, make sure that they cannot change your mind.

Moreover, you need to leave the people you are with if you are facing hypocrisy at the workplace.

It is always better to stay away in the right way with a smile.

Hence, try to avoid any type of conflict that you come up with and try to avoid hypocrisy at the workplace as much as possible.

2. Ignore the Hypocrites at workplace

The best thing that you can do to be away from facing a bunch of hypocrites at the workplace is by ignoring them.

If someone shows you that kind of behavior, you can turn your face anytime you want.

Sometimes it can be annoying, and you might not get to leave. But, you should try to see the person if it continues rarely.

At times, you will want the hypocrites in the workplace to admit their behavior and show you a better form of themselves.

You need to know that it is not possible most of the time. So, you need to set a different mindset and ignore their behavior because you can’t prove them.

Additionally, you can make sure that you spend very little time with the hypocrites in the workplace so that you do not become a victim of hypocrisy in the workplace.

Hence, spend time with yourself rather than spending time with these kind of people.

3. Confront the hypocrites

When avoiding and ignoring is no longer a solution, the best thing you can do is confront the person that creates hypocrisy in the workplace.

This is because it might affect you in a harmful way.

Other than the annoyance that these people create, you will go on the destructive side. So, always confront a hypocrite if being comfortable doesn’t work.

However, always try to confront them politely because they might take another meaning and hurt you at the end. Although you will face it, you will have to confront something positive at the end.

Also, you need to make sure that you need to mention yourself while giving advice or confronting hypocrites too.

Because, if you do something wrong while facing them, hypocrisy in the workplace might be even fatal.

4. Say No to Revenge

You should never keep any revenge on the hypocrites.

It won’t make them taste their medicine but will make you face the bad more.

You can follow the knife of vengeance with yourself instead of using them to test the hypocrites or teach them a lesson.

Also, you can try to cope with the fake co-worker you have.

5. Get Some Space from the hypocrites

If you want to get out of the world of hypocrites, you should first get some space for yourself.

Giving space to self will make you feel better about yourself and make you feel delighted. So, you will have no time for the hypocrites in the workplace.

Hence, the best thing that you could do to deal with these kind of people is by creating distance.

You can always stay away from them and the things that they do. This will help you to feel better in the long run.

I will not write much on what is hypocrisy. We all are well aware. The hypocrites are everywhere. One does wonder about the ‘factory’ of generation. Is there a power plant working at full throttle in creating these social maniacs? The other argument of natural creation by god partially throws light on their survival capabilities in a society. Let us begin with the notable characteristics of these individuals.

1. They are never honest : Mark my words on this. Most politicians are high ranked hypocrites in every political system. Call it a democracy or dictatorship, but one should understand the definition of democracy by Aristotle. It says, “The tyranny of many is called democracy.” Obviously, not a pun at the famous, “Government of the people and by the people…

Dishonesty includes cheating, fake behavior, unnecessary interference or in other words- poking nose in affairs whether needed or not, and last but not the least, the jealousy factor.

2. Hypocrites are pathetic souls inwardly and psychologically ill people : They cannot see you smile, happy and having fun. This is just intolerable for them. The big question rests in what and how does this fun and enjoyment bring harm to them; it may sound weird, but hypocrites are cold at heart with zero care for others.

3. What are their weapons of mass hatred? : The tongue is the most popular among them. A philosopher wisely says, “A tongue is the best and the worst part of a human simultaneously, depending upon the usage.” The hypocrites happily use it to hurt and inflict pain. They discourage on purpose. They provoke agony willfully. All evils stay in them by virtue of a mere tongue.

4. The Visigothic : I have independent study and research of plenty such cases in which marriages were broken, jobs were lost, and relationships became bitter and other serious violent issues. Not to mention here who were the responsible behind these incidents that happened frequently.

A simple ignore is the easiest and simplest counter-hypocrisy methodology. It works well enough to prevent negativity in you and your life. However, some situations demand a detailed and proper thoughtful response. It can be anything. You can chose to tell the suspected hypocrite to stay away, or you can inform others about such person. One should remember about the consequences of hypocrites on mind, life and ethics. Hypocrites have influence, obviously negative, which is much more to worry about than just countering and preventing yourself from dishonest people. The action speaks louder than the personality. Success is never enjoyable with distasteful and crude praises. Failure is never a learning curve with extremely disgusting demoralization.

Hypocrisy yields numerous harmful byproducts. Consider pessimism, sarcasm, insulting attitude, stupidity and many more. Do you remember Titanic/Terminator fame director, James Cameron? He was ridiculed, mocked and almost insulted for making a huge ship, and then sinking it. He ignored the naught criticism and he knew exactly what was in making. Eventually, success kissed his feet and I bet even Cameron did not hope for such ground breaking response and business of the movie. A sensitive person is normally the victim of hypocrites. The sensitive tender personality is ruined easily. A tough person hardly cares and thus is at ease.

Some very interesting quotes on Hypocrisy:

    Forbear to judge, for we are sinners all.

William Shakespeare, Henry VI
Go put your creed into your deed.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most melancholy thing about human nature, is, that a man may guide others into the path of salvation, without walking in it himself; that he may be a pilot, and yet a castaway.

Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.

The golden tip is to avoid hypocrites and hypocrisy by being honest and fair. Life should be fun and cheerful at all costs.