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How to distract someone

This article was co-authored by Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD. Dr. Nicole Moshfegh is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Author based in Los Angeles, California. Dr. Moshfegh specializes in multicultural competence and treating patients with mood and anxiety disorders and insomnia. She holds a BA in Psychology and Social Behavior from The University of California, Irvine (UCI), and an MA and Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Pepperdine University. Dr. Moshfegh completed her predoctoral internship and postdoctoral fellowship at The University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). Additionally, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, National Register of Health Service Psychologists, Los Angeles County Psychological Association, and Collaborative Family Healthcare Association. Dr. Moshfegh is also the best-selling author of “The Book of Sleep: 75 Strategies to Relieve Insomnia”.

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There are plenty of good reasons why you might want to distract someone. It’s possible a friend of yours has recently gone through something tragic and needs to get his mind off things for a while. On the other hand, a family member’s birthday may be approaching, and it’s up to you to stave her off before her surprise party is ready to receive her. Distracting someone can be easy or tough depending on the person and situation you find yourself in. While you’ll ultimately need to come up with a solution that best suits your own circumstances, there are lots of potential ideas out there which you can use to your own advantage.

  • Join Date: Jun 2019
  • Posts: 526

How to distract someone and improve your chances of winning

Two words: Chat bombing.

At the beginning of the game, start out with ‘in your face!’ and ‘you’re going down!’ and throughout the game, just chat bomb them. distract them, demoralize them. if they make a good shot, chat ‘you are so lucky!’ and that might lower their spirits.

You can also lag them out to distract them. leave the game by exiting the browser or going to another web site. this will give them the message that network connection is screwed, ‘please don’t leave the game’. But make sure to to come back within 31 seconds or so otherwise you will forfeit the game.

I have post it notes folded in half to cover that crap, but once just ignored it because it was a denial. problem is right now I am in pain and not on my game well.

i use pc and have increased the screen size which has helped a bit.

This POS did it to me all game and if you use a rule (straight edge) you can see it was a denial, but I was too busy to cover his crap.

Comment

  • Join Date: Jul 2014
  • Posts: 517

My chats are always muted so jokers like the OP cannot distract me with their foolishness.
If ever the chat facility would allow me to express my true feelings, I would consider switching it on again.

As to the second strategy mentioned, making the player wait with their silly games, I have two response to that.
1. When it is your time to finally play again, make the joker wait till you are one second away of running out of time.
2. The moment I see “Waiting for opponent’s response, do not leave the game”, I am sending an invitation to join the club.

They get the message.

Also, as a bonus : if I am winning the game and I have ball in hand for the last (easy) shot, I pick up the cue ball and perform the now famous “Dhakapapa dance”, swirling all over the place, going round the nine ball, visiting all the pockets and at the very end of my time, putting in the nine ball very slowly. Sometimes I raise two middle fingers as well but my opponent unfortunately cannot see that.

One of the most important skills in life is learning how to stop thinking about someone. Everyone wants to forget someone – an ex girlfriend or boyfriend, a toxic friend, an abusive relative, the list goes on.

Sometimes distractions help, like talking to new, understanding people.

But stopping a nostalgic or resentful train of thought is harder than it seems. Pull the emergency brake and follow these steps for how to stop thinking about someone, both right now and in the long term.

Fast ways to forget about someone

(Pro tip: talking to someone else, like in a 24/7 anonymous chat, is the fastest.)

1. Stop virtual stalking

The last thing you need when you’re figuring out how to stop thinking about someone is constant notifications about them. Unfollow, unsubscribe and unfriend!

Constantly checking who they’re hanging out with or what they’re up to is only going to slow down your recovery. Regular posts about them can also cause unpleasant flashbacks. Do yourself a favor and remove the temptation by removing them on social media or blocking them. Also remove any of their friends with whom you aren’t close.

2. Toss nostalgic memorabilia

Physical reminders also make it harder to forget someone. Get rid of all of the items that remind you of them!

Maybe it’s a hoodie, a framed picture, or photos on your phone. If these items have financial value and you’re reluctant to throw them away, consider boxing them up and leaving them with a friend. Your emotional connection to them may fade eventually.

3. No contact rule

We’ve all been there — you may feel tempted to contact the person and stir the pot of emotions again. Don’t fall into this trap. Follow the no contact rule!

Don’t text, call, or message them, and minimize contact any way you can. This means avoiding places you know they visit often, like their favorite coffee shop. While you may think you want to see or talk to them again, all you’re doing is indulging masochistic drives and torturing yourself.

If you really have to communicate with this person for financial, logistical, or other reasons, consider appointing a friend as a go-between. If this person needs to get you a message, they can send it to your friend, and vice versa.

How to distract someone

4. Move your body

Don’t sit at home all day and ruminate about this person. Go out and experience the world by yourself or with other positive people in your life.

Even better, try some hobbies you couldn’t engage in while this person was around in your life. No matter what you choose to do, engage yourself in something physical and remind yourself that an entire world exists without them.

5. Transport your mind

If you can’t get up and go out, try some techniques to shift your mind space. This can be as simple as closing your eyes and imagining a place you love to be in.

If that’s too unstructured for you, try asking a friend if you can help with something on their mind. Attending to others’ problems easily removes you from your immediate world. You can also read an engrossing novel or watch something on Netflix.

Let your mind roam where this person doesn’t occupy and can’t intrude.

6. Imagine a future, when you’ll be with someone who…

  • Loves you most on the days you’re not trying
  • Sees how your mind works
  • Values your quirks
  • Automatically meets you halfway
  • Shares a sense of humor
  • Respects your autonomy
  • Gets to know your friends
  • Hears you out
  • Makes you feel calm
  • Gives you strength

Slow ways to get someone out of your head

7. Forgive to forget

This one is really difficult for many people, but just as essential. This person probably hurt you, bad, in some way. For your own sake, not theirs, don’t wish ill upon them. Fueling yourself with constant anger will make it harder to forget this person.

One way to do this is to imagine yourself sending this person a ball of white light and surrounding them with it. You can also try drafting a letter to them, and achieve closure by releasing emotions.

8. Respect yourself

How to stop thinking about someone that you still love? How about thinking of someone else you still love — yourself!

Often, we put people on pedestals even if they mistreated us, causing obsessive thoughts, self-blame and doubt. You deserve better.

Build yourself up by engaging in empowering activities and thinking about your own emotional needs. One example of this is treating yourself to an entire self care day.

9. Let yourself feel the pain

All of the strategies used to move on only work if you’ve allowed yourself the proper time to grieve. The end of any relationship, even if it was toxic, can be painful.

Trying to move on without validating your emotions can lead to denial and suppression – building up the pressure in a bottle you’ll eventually have to open.

Before you try to forget, walk yourself through the course of what happened with this person. Let yourself feel the pain and sadness that is due, and then let it go.

How to distract someone

10. Avoid substances

In the search for a quick fix brain cleanse, you may consider falling back on alcohol or other substances. While these may offer temporary relief, they also dig you into a deeper pit.

Substances can also lower your inhibitions, making it easier to contact the person you want to forget – and then you’ll have to start this whole process over again. Put down the shot glasses and find other ways to distract yourself, like talking to understanding strangers.

11. Look forward with excitement

Learn to accept that you can’t go back in time and change what happened. However, this person is not a permanent mark on your life — there’s so much more to come.

Consider sharing your excitement for the future with supportive folks!

You have the ability to mold yourself by learning from past experiences. Whether these experiences were good or bad, each relationship we have gives us wisdom we can apply to the future. You’ve already learned that you deserve better, that you are resilient and that you are capable.

12. Talk to someone else!

Hopefully these tips on how to stop thinking about someone have helped you feel better today. If you’re seeking support and need help distracting yourself from a certain individual, consider reaching out to Supportiv’s peer support network.

Hit Chat Now, enter what’s on your mind, and you’ll be connected with understanding folks in less than a minute. No bots, no personal information – just support.

My boss was trying to have our monthly one-on-one meeting the other day. I had to leave soon and these meetings take longer than anticipated. I had to leave at 11:00 and he came up to me trying to have the meeting at 10:45. These meetings usually last 45 minutes so I’d have to wait until 11:45 to leave. Then I noticed something. I noticed this new girl he hired has a Celtic Cross tattoo on her forearm. My boss has a Celtic Cross tattoo on his wrist. My boss was trying to pull me into the meeting when I said “Hey Catherine, you and Sunny have the same tattoo!” And they both noticed in complete awe. The names are fake, but the situation is real. From that moment on I got the TV fixed and for the next 15 minutes, Catherine and Sunny had a conversation about tattoos. This gave me time to fix the TV and avoid my monthly meeting. These monthly meetings are timed out very well so I am safe from that dreadful meeting for another month at least. I distracted my boss by averting his attention to a commonality he has with someone. So the first rule to being observant in order to distract someone is to find a commonality they can discuss with someone else ad nauseam.

The ability to distract worthless people from your work and what you are trying to accomplish is a massive life hack. It gives you less pressure and more clarity to focus on your work. And you will not have the misfortune of people trying to make you feel inadequate for what you are trying to do.

The tattoo example is a simple one. How do you distract someone from and get them to focus on someone or something else when the obvious tattoo situation isn’t there? There was this dude I met at a wedding party. He tried getting way too buddy-buddy with me. I was clearly puzzled and wondering why he was trying to get so close, and no, he’s not gay. So how did I figure him out? I observed how he behaved with other people around him. At that point, I know why he tried to get buddy-buddy with me. He knows I have a lot of attractive female friends and he was trying to get me to help him get one. So I went along with it. I asked this girl to help this guy get to know the rest of our friends. She is a very nice girl who I could tell her personality would be compatible with this guy. So for the next four hours, my female friend and he got acquainted and I observed in awe at just how I easily I could do that. All I had to do was shut the fuck up and observe somebody as if I was Morgan Freeman being the narrator for an Academy Award-winning film.

The two examples I gave were done in little situations and many of you wondering how you can do this when it actually counts. The answer is the little situations add up little by little to be the sum that is your whole life. You need to learn to stop these things at the micro-level. If you let these situations bring you down then you will never get ahead in life. Learn to distract those who mean nothing to you and your development as a human being. Many of these situations will do nothing but add unnecessary stress to your life. You cannot get ahead if you are in a perpetual state of stress. The situation I described with my boss is a prime example. He is using his position to belittle me. And you can only ignore being belittled for so long and eventually you begin to wonder whether those who belittle you might be right.

With that being said. When someone wants to distract you from them get the hint before they do something to get them away from you. It will save your ego from getting hurt. Hypothetically I meet a friend I have not seen in a while. We make plans to go out for dinner and when we do he seems very standoffish. By him being standoffish you should make an excuse to leave immediately. He will try and do the same to you and you’ll end up being the one who feels like his ego is hurt. If you can tell he needs an excuse to leave then you just leave. Do yourselves both that favor. The lesson here is: learn when you are the one who needs to be distracted. No point in associated with those who don’t enjoy your presence.

The presence of people is all that matters in life. You are who you associate with. And if you associate with those who you constantly need to distract yourself from then YOU, yes I mean YOU are the one who is being distracted by people who you want to be around.

The best way to avoid being the target of a distraction play is to surround yourself with people who want to be with you. The guy at the wedding party. Me distracting him was a dick move. That situation was one of humor. He wasn’t trying to belittle me or put me down.

The real lesson here is to distract those from you who add nothing but negativity to your life. An annoying drunk guy at a party trying to be your friend isn’t good for being distracted. It’s a wedding party everyone is annoying and drunk. But in your professional life learn to distract your competition. It will get you higher up the food chain.