How to embrace your intelligence

How to embrace your intelligence

How to embrace your intelligence

How to embrace your intelligence

When it comes to success, it’s easy to think that people blessed with brains are inevitably going to leave the rest of us in the dust. But new research from Stanford University will change your mind (and your attitude).

Psychologist Carol Dweck has spent her entire career studying attitude and performance, and her latest study shows that your attitude is a better predictor of your success than your IQ.

Dweck found that people’s core attitudes fall into one of two categories: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.

With a fixed mindset, you believe you are who you are and you cannot change. This creates problems when you’re challenged because anything that appears to be more than you can handle is bound to make you feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

People with a growth mindset believe that they can improve with effort. They outperform those with a fixed mindset, even when they have a lower IQ, because they embrace challenges, treating them as opportunities to learn something new.

How to embrace your intelligence

Common sense would suggest that having ability, like being smart, inspires confidence. It does, but only while the going is easy. The deciding factor in life is how you handle setbacks and challenges. People with a growth mindset welcome setbacks with open arms.

According to Dweck, success in life is all about how you deal with failure. She describes the approach to failure of people with the growth mindset this way,

Failure is information—we label it failure, but it’s more like, ‘This didn’t work, and I’m a problem solver, so I’ll try something else.’”

Regardless of which side of the chart you fall on, you can make changes and develop a growth mindset. What follows are some strategies that will fine-tune your mindset and help you make certain it’s as growth oriented as possible.

Have you read?

  • You are naturally biased to be negative. Here’s how to change
  • A growing number of people think their job is useless. Time to rethink the meaning of work

Don’t stay helpless. We all hit moments when we feel helpless. The test is how we react to that feeling. We can either learn from it and move forward or let it drag us down. There are countless successful people who would have never made it if they had succumbed to feelings of helplessness: Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas,” Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a TV anchor in Baltimore for being “too emotionally invested in her stories,” Henry Ford had two failed car companies prior to succeeding with Ford, and Steven Spielberg was rejected by USC’s Cinematic Arts School multiple times. Imagine what would have happened if any of these people had a fixed mindset. They would have succumbed to the rejection and given up hope. People with a growth mindset don’t feel helpless because they know that in order to be successful, you need to be willing to fail hard and then bounce right back.

Be passionate. Empowered people pursue their passions relentlessly. There’s always going to be someone who’s more naturally talented than you are, but what you lack in talent, you can make up for in passion. Empowered people’s passion is what drives their unrelenting pursuit of excellence. Warren Buffet recommends finding your truest passions using, what he calls, the 5/25 technique: Write down the 25 things that you care about the most. Then, cross out the bottom 20. The remaining 5 are your true passions. Everything else is merely a distraction.

Take action. It’s not that people with a growth mindset are able to overcome their fears because they are braver than the rest of us; it’s just that they know fear and anxiety are paralyzing emotions and that the best way to overcome this paralysis is to take action. People with a growth mindset are empowered, and empowered people know that there’s no such thing as a truly perfect moment to move forward. So why wait for one? Taking action turns all your worry and concern about failure into positive, focused energy.

Then go the extra mile (or two). Empowered people give it their all, even on their worst days. They’re always pushing themselves to go the extra mile. One of Bruce Lee’s pupils ran three miles every day with him. One day, they were about to hit the three-mile mark when Bruce said, “Let’s do two more.” His pupil was tired and said, “I’ll die if I run two more.” Bruce’s response? “Then do it.” His pupil became so angry that he finished the full five miles. Exhausted and furious, he confronted Bruce about his comment, and Bruce explained it this way: “Quit and you might as well be dead. If you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there; you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”

If you aren’t getting a little bit better each day, then you’re most likely getting a little worse—and what kind of life is that?

Expect results. People with a growth mindset know that they’re going to fail from time to time, but they never let that keep them from expecting results. Expecting results keeps you motivated and feeds the cycle of empowerment. After all, if you don’t think you’re going to succeed, then why bother?

Be flexible. Everyone encounters unanticipated adversity. People with an empowered, growth-oriented mindset embrace adversity as a means for improvement, as opposed to something that holds them back. When an unexpected situation challenges an empowered person, they flex until they get results.

Don’t complain when things don’t go your way. Complaining is an obvious sign of a fixed mindset. A growth mindset looks for opportunity in everything, so there’s no room for complaints.

Bringing It All Together

By keeping track of how you respond to the little things, you can work every day to keep yourself on the right side of the chart above.

About The Author:

Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.

Use emotional intelligence to help build trust, psychological safety, and a better feedback culture in your organization.

How to embrace your intelligence

“I can’t go on like this much longer.”

I was leading a project and Andrea was struggling. She was the top performer on my team, and she did amazing work. But we were serving a particularly difficult client, and she was feeling burnt out.

“I’m no spring chicken anymore,” Andrea told me.

I reassured her of how much I valued her, but I knew she needed a break. We finished up without her.

After the project finished, we got excellent feedback from the client. My first phone call was to Andrea. I told her the kind words the client had to say about her particularly, and how much I appreciated the effort she has put into this project.

“We couldn’t have done this without you,” I said.

“Thank you so much,” Andrea said. “You don’t know how much this means to me. I’d be happy to help out on a similar project in the future. Thank you again.”

I could “hear” her smiling from ear to ear.

After years of managing persons and projects across the globe, I’ve found that a simple rule of emotional intelligence helps me to establish deeper, stronger, more loyal relationships–both at work and at home.

I like to call it the rule of recognition.

The rule of recognition is simple: Your default setting is to focus on what a person does right, and make a point to commend the person for those positive actions, sincerely and specifically.

This accomplishes three things. Let’s break them down.

It encourages the person to continue those positive behaviors.

Sometimes a manager will ask me: “Why would you commend someone for doing something they’re supposed to do?”

My answer: “So they keep doing it.”

Some of us are so focused on looking for things to correct, we’re blind to all the positive things people do on a daily basis. But when you default to looking for the good in others and recognizing their potential, you create self-fulfilling prophecies: People who continue to fulfill what you’ve confirmed they’re capable of.

It builds trust and psychological safety.

After years of research on what makes teams effective, Google identified a single factor as most important: Psychological safety.

According to Google, in a team with high psychological safety, “teammates feel safe to take risks around their team members. They feel confident that no one on the team will embarrass or punish anyone else for admitting a mistake, asking a question, or offering a new idea.”

Psychological safety is really a fancy word for trust.

The rule of recognition builds trust because of the type of commendation it is. This isn’t empty words of flattery, which most people will see through. Rather, it’s sincere and specific commendation, tailored to the individual.

In the workplace, it might look like this: “Hi _________, do you have a minute? I wanted to tell you something. I know I don’t say it enough, but I really appreciate what you do around here. The way you [insert: specific action taking care of a project, client, problem]–it was great. I could really see your [insert: specific quality] in action and how much it benefits the company. Keep up the good work.”

How would those words make you feel?

Again, the key is to keep it real–by making your commendation sincere and specific.

It makes it easier to share constructive criticism.

Once your people see you as someone who looks for the positive, who recognizes their efforts, and who makes them feel safe, they’ll be more open to hear your criticism, too.

That’s because they’ll know you as someone who’s looking out for the best in them, rather than someone who’s always looking to criticize. The fact that your default feedback is positive will make any constructive criticism more palatable and easier to put into practice, especially if you deliver it in an emotionally intelligent way.

So if you’re looking to build stronger, healthier, and more loyal relationships, remember the rule of recognition.

If you do, you will:

  • Encourage your people to continue positive behavior.
  • Build trust and psychological safety.
  • Make it easier to share constructive criticism.

Above all, you’ll help your people to become the best version of themselves.

(If you enjoy the lessons in this article, be sure to sign up for my free emotional intelligence course, where each day for 10 days you get a similar rule designed to help you make emotions work for you, instead of against you.)

The rule of clocking out will help you set priorities, avoid burnout, and find more time in your day.

How to embrace your intelligence

“It won’t always be like this,” I told myself. “Starting a company is hard.”

Before I started my company, I spent over a decade working for a nonprofit that I loved. It was a fantastic organization where amazing mentors and colleagues taught me much of what I know about the practical side of emotional intelligence.

Over the years I worked there, I put in my share of overtime. But as much I loved my job, I had a pretty strict routine of leaving work. On most days, I clocked out at 5 p.m.

But a funny thing happened once I started working for myself: The workdays got longer and longer, later and later. And while, yes, starting a company was hard, I’d soon learn that growing a company and maintaining it is pretty hard, too.

After realizing that I was working much more than I wanted to, I made a change. I like to call it, “the rule of clocking out.” It’s based on principles of emotional intelligence, the ability to identify, understand, and manage emotions.

I’ve found this rule helps me to set my priorities, keep everything in its place, and take control of my life.

Here’s how it works.

How to set priorities, avoid burnout, and find more time in your day

When I first started my company, I was influenced by personalities like Mark Cuban, who says you have to outwork your competition, or they’ll put you out of business. To be fair, I’ve learned a lot from Cuban over the years–but I didn’t want to live life like him.

My work is definitely a priority.

But so is my family. And my mental health. And volunteering my time to help others.

Of course, one of the greatest things about being your own boss is you get to set your own hours. After realizing that I was working much more than I wanted to, I made a change. I would set a time every day to clock out. Then I’d treat that time like an important appointment, one that I can’t miss.

The principles of clocking out apply especially well to business owners. But in reality, they provide value for anyone.

For example, do you find that despite working later and later, there’s always more work to get done?

Or that by focusing much of your energy on goals for your work or business, you forget about other priorities–like your mental or physical health?

Or maybe you need to learn to clock out, not from work, but from something else that’s draining your time and energy–like a clingy friend, or even a Netflix or YouTube addiction.

If any of the above applies to you, it can be difficult to change. This is likely because your emotions are ruling your habits, causing you to repeat the same routine.

Here’s where emotional intelligence comes in.

But breaking free can be simple, if you do the following:

  1. List your priorities: Take time to write down what’s important to you, and what you want to spend more time on.
  2. Set a limit: Figure out which activity you’re spending too much time on and set a limit on it, a time to clock out. This can be a set time every day, a countdown timer you set when engaging in an activity, or simply a set number (of episodes, for example, if watching your favorite show on Netflix).
  3. Communicate: When it comes to work, if people try to set a meeting with you after you’ve scheduled to clock out, simply tell them you’re already booked. (After all, you are.) If you have a family, give them a head’s up on your schedule and let them know what time you’re clocking out.

Because sure, you can stay late and clear out your inbox. But there will be more emails tomorrow.

You can binge your favorite show. But you’ll just finish it quicker, and take away time from reading, sleeping, or something else that’s important to you.

You can keep saying yes to everything. Or you can start saying no, and take control of your time.

So take a moment to get your emotions under control and figure out how you can start clocking out.

Because you’ll find more happiness, not when you chase extremes.

But when you chase balance, instead.

(If you enjoyed this article, be sure to sign up for my free emotional intelligence course, where every day for 10 days, you get a rule designed to help you make emotions work for you, instead of against you.)

Intelligence has downsides, which can be compensated for.

Posted September 27, 2016

We tend to think of intelligence as all good. After all, it enables to you learn more quickly, problem-solve more complexly, remember more vividly.

Yet intelligence also imposes burdens on the person:

  • Intelligent people are more aware of a situation’s complexities and so are more likely to worry and/or be pessimistic. As Charles Darwin wrote, “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.” In short, ignorance is bliss.
  • Intelligent people are at risk of appearing “full of themselves.” But the alternative is to hide their intelligence. No-win.
  • They’re expected to always be intelligent. But even smart people aren’t always “on” and then, likely anyone else, they’re more mistake-prone. But they and others are particularly hard on them because of the disparity between their usual functioning and their error.
  • Intelligent people are expected to make a big difference in the world. Lest they choose a less ambitious career, they’re often denigrated as “not living up to their potential.” For example, one of the more intelligent people I knew in high school chose to forgo college in favor of driving an ice cream truck because it constantly gives people pleasure and he enjoyed driving and talking to kids. Also, it avoided his having to go to college, which he perceived as a poor use of his time and money. He read voraciously but only what he was motivated to read. Everyone blamed him for “not living up to his potential.”
  • Intelligent people are aware of their high ability. So they tend to rely too much on their own judgment. No matter how intelligent a person is, obtaining outside input often leads to better decisions. So they may end up making worse decisions than do somewhat less intelligent people who are aware of their limitations.
  • Most intelligent people’s career and self-esteem are tied to their intelligence. Aging’s inevitable cognitive decline tends to especially hurt smart people, practically and psychologically.

Coping with the burdens of intelligence

The good news is that these burdens can be mitigated or compensated for:

  • Fully embrace your intelligence. We live in an era in which egalitarianism rather than exceptionalism is extolled. Your intelligence is a powerful attribute that can be a force for good, even great good. Do consider devoting your smarts to important things.
  • Collaborate with other intelligent people—Your collective effort may be greater than the sum of its parts.
  • If you’re more of a solo operator, realize that working alone may yield more benefit than collaborating with lesser lights, where, as mentioned earlier, you may be trapped in the Catch-22 of seeming boastful or dumbing yourself down.
  • Recognize that while cognitive intelligence is correlated with emotional intelligence, the correlation is far from perfect. Use your cognitive intelligence to try to parse out what it takes to influence people and, if you wish, to get them to like you. What are your barriers to connection: Braggadocio? Intolerance of the less intelligent? A substance abuse problem? Inflated confidence?

The takeaway

Might any of the above ideas help you make the most of your intelligence or reduce its burden?

A few months after writing this article, I created a short YouTube video summarizing my current thinking about the burdens of intelligence. HERE is the link.


Emotional intelligence is the ability to accurately understand your emotions and recognize other people’s emotions accurately. It’s a critical soft skill for effective collaboration, interpersonal relationships, and good communication in the workplace. In this article, we’ll take a look at why emotional intelligence is important for leaders. Then, get nine tips to build your emotional intelligence skills.

What is emotional intelligence (EQ)?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, regulate, and understand emotions—both in yourself and in others. High emotional intelligence helps you connect with others, build empathetic connections, communicate effectively, overcome conflict, and express your feelings. You may have heard emotional intelligence referred to as EI or emotional quotient.

It often feels like emotional intelligence is something you either have or don’t have. But just like your intelligence quotient (IQ), EQ is a muscle you can develop over time.

The history of emotional intelligence

Psychologists have been studying emotional intelligence since the concept of “social intelligence” was introduced by Edward Thorndike in 1920. Later, Howard Gardner built on this theory by introducing the idea that more than one type of intelligence contributes to cognitive ability. In his 1983 book Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, Gardner introduced the concept of interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligences.

However, the term “emotional intelligence” only gained popularity after the 1995 book Emotional Intelligence, written by science journalist Daniel Goleman. In his book, Goleman defines emotional intelligence and establishes the importance of EQ in leadership.

Later, in 2004, Peter Salovey and John Mayer expanded the scope and understanding of emotional intelligence. Salovey and Mayer developed the trait model to develop and measure emotional intelligence. This later led to the first emotional intelligence test, the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso emotional intelligence test (MSCEIT).

Today, emotional intelligence is studied by a variety of psychologists looking to understand the different emotional competencies, interpersonal skills that contribute to emotional intelligence, and the difference between EQ and IQ. While many psychologists disagree on the exact details of emotional intelligence, most agree that this is a skill you can build with practice and training.

The benefits of high EQ

Studies have shown that emotional intelligence is equally important, or sometimes even more important, than traditional intelligence. According to a 2016 study, having high emotional intelligence was a better predictor of effective teamwork than having a high IQ. Additional studies have shown that high emotional intelligence leads to better job performance and leadership.

Emotional intelligence is all about understanding your own emotions and the emotions of others. High emotional intelligence helps you:

Think before acting or reacting

Reduce your gut reaction or impulse

Overcome issues—both at home and in the workplace

TIMESOFINDIA.COM | Last updated on – Jul 16, 2021, 11:00 IST

01 /8 ​7 reasons why intelligent people have a hard time finding love

It is intelligence that gives us the ability to think, learn from experience, solve problems, and adapt to new situations. Also, it is important because it has an impact on many human behaviors. However, what if your intelligence comes in the way of finding love? Love is already hard to find, and it is even more difficult for intelligent people. It might be because of their mind, understanding of things, approach towards life, etc. If you are also struggling with the same, here are 7 reasons why intelligent people have a hard time finding love.

02 /8 They are analytical

Smart people are aware of the fact that there is more to a successful relationship than sex. They often over-analyze their dates by wondering about the future, the best way to cultivate romance, and being too obsessed with finding the right person. Though it is not a bad thing at all, it makes their journey to find love extremely difficult.

03 /8 ​They know it’s better to single than with the wrong person

Intelligent people are often so focused on finding the right partner, that they will rather not experiment at all. They will choose to be single rather than date a person who makes life hell for them or hurts them in any way.

04 /8 ​They are fully aware that relationships end

Smart people know the harsh realities of life and do not like to be in an imaginary too-good-to-be-true world. Because of this, they sometimes take things too slow and have trouble committing to their partners.

05 /8 ​They might be intimidating

Intelligence can sometimes lead to people being intimidating. This can make people uncomfortable and make them think of you as an arrogant person, even if you are not. You may also experience that concern, leaving you a little uncomfortable.

06 /8 ​They prioritize their goals in life

Intelligent people are dreamers by nature. They have goals they have set to reach a certain point in their lives. They are always on the move. And sometimes falling in love with someone just isn’t a top priority.

07 /8 ​They aren’t easy to understand

Smart people are the hardest ones to persuade in this world. You can give the most convincing reasons as to why they should trust you, and yet they would still be skeptical about your words. They don’t say yes so easily. They have to give themselves time to ponder about their major decisions in life.

08 /8 ​They have high standards

Intelligent people don’t compromise. They never lower their standards just because everyone around them seems to be settling down already. They would rather suffer feeling lonely than be with a person they don’t really find attractive.

Technology, Generation Z and neuroscience are all contributing to emotional intelligence being the future of work.

Human emotion is one of the most powerful forces on the planet. Emotions start wars and create peace; spark love and force divorce. While unavoidable, emotions are also indispensable sources of orientation and propel us to take action. But unbridled emotion can make us and those around us to act irrationally.

How to embrace your intelligenceAndrii Zastrozhnov | Getty Images

Emotional intelligence is a relatively new construct, but its impact on how we work will be significant moving forward. The first academic article on emotional intelligence appeared in 1990, but the topic didn’t become mainstream until Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage one’s personal emotions and the emotions of others. Knowing how you’d feel in a certain situation helps you to gauge how others will feel in a similar environment thus enabling favorable social interactions and evoking favorable reactions from others.

Emotional intelligent people gain social aptitudes such as the ability to resolve conflict, teach others or manage teams.

The business case for emotional intelligence

Rising rates of loneliness, depression, and mental health concerns represent an opportunity for companies and leaders to embrace emotional intelligence in order to reengage people at work and life.

According to Google’s famous Project Aristotle initiative, a high-performing team needs three things: 1) a strong awareness of the importance of social connections or “social sensitivity,” 2) an environment where each person speaks equally, and 3) psychological safety where everyone feels safe to show and employ themselves without fear of negative consequences. To harness these three elements of a successful team, it takes an emotionally intelligent leader.

People feel cared for when these three items are present among a team or organization. People that feel cared for are more loyal, engaged, and productive.

  • 10 times more likely to recommend their company as a great place to work.
  • 9 times more likely to stay at their company for three or more years.
  • 7 times more likely to feel included at work.
  • 4 times less likely to suffer from stress and burnout.
  • 2 times as likely to be engaged at work.

1. Deep human needs

The three core human needs of work (and life) are to survive, belong and become. Much like Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs, once humans fulfill the need of food, water and shelter they will then seek to be accepted for who they are, and then finally to learn and grow to become their best selves.

As the world advances, more and more survival needs are being consistently met causing the workforce to turn their attention to the next tier of needs, most immediately being belonging. Emotionally intelligent leaders are capable of extending belonging to their teams.

2. Technology will enhance humanity

The Industrial Revolution required strong workers. The Information Age required knowledgeable workers. The future age of work will require emotionally intelligent workers.

As the world fills with more sophisticated technology such as artificial intelligence and 5G, human skills like compassion and empathy will define the competitive edge of workers and entire organizations.

In addition, as the world becomes more high-tech, there will be a desire and opportunity for more high-touch. As technology advances, it will take on a lot of the work that humans aren’t good at, don’t like, or too dangerous. This will leave us with more time and capacity to show up emotionally for each other.

For example, if artificial intelligence can diagnose diseases with greater accuracy than a doctor, doctors will have more margin to deliver the much needed human elements of empathy and compassion to patients. Or if robots can assemble a customer’s meal more accurately and efficiently than a human, that creates an opportunity for a human to get out from behind the counter to hold the door for a customer or meet them at their car during a rainstorm.

3. Work and life blending

Not only are emotions finding their way into work, but workers want it more. A pervasive myth exists that emotions don’t belong at work, and this often leads us to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or cold.

The boundaries between work and life continue to blur. People are bringing more work home, and more personal life is spilling into work. Try as we might, we cannot flip a switch and leave our pain, joy, sorrow and excitement at the office door. Emotions travel with us.

According to Liz Fossien, co-author of the Wall Street Journal best-seller, No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, “in the moments when our colleagues drop their glossy professional presentation, we are much more likely to believe what they are telling us. We feel connected to the people around us. We try harder. Perform better. And we are just generally kinder. So it’s about time we learn how to embrace emotion at work.”

4. Evolving employer-employee relationship

In the past, the employer-employee relationship was very transactional. Punch in, punch out and collect a check. But in today’s always-on work culture, the boundaries of the employee-employer relationship are expanding. And considering work is the activity people spend the most time engaged with after sleep, employees are expecting more from the workplace.

More and more employers are leaning into the highly emotional aspects of their employees’ lives. For example, Hilton offers an adoption assistance program that will reimburse team members for qualified adoption expense up to $10,000 per child, with no limit to the number of adoptions. Facebook offers employees up to 20 days of bereavement leave in the event of a family member’s death.

As employees seek more from their employers, moving from employing to empowering will serve employers well.

5. Generation Z demands it

Companies are struggling to adapt to the evolving emotional needs of their workforce. This is especially true among the emerging generations as 18-to-25-year-olds have the highest prevalence of serious mental illness compared to other age groups, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Additionally, Gen Z is the loneliest generation in the workplace with 73 percent reporting sometimes or always feeling alone.

It’s not surprising then that more than any other generation, Gen Z wants their managers to be empathetic, according to The Center for Generational Kinetics’ 2020 study, Solving the Remote Work Challenge Across Generations.

If the youth is the future, and Gen Z are lonely and psychologically stressed then the future of work must be emotional intelligence.

Entrepreneur Editors’ Picks

5 Habits Every CEO Should Avoid to Be a Remarkable Leader

‘We Kissed a Lot of Frogs.’ Kris Jenner on How She Built an Empire and Her Advice For Aspiring Entrepreneurs

Why We Choke Under Pressure and How to Avoid It, According to a Cognitive Scientist

How This ‘Accidental Entrepreneur’ Is Taking on Legacy Floral Companies and Disrupting the Industry

Why ‘Proximity Bias’ Keeps Leaders From Excelling in the Era of Remote Work

How to embrace your intelligence

Published on Jan 13th 2022

As a kid, I was a bit of a… okay, a massive geek. While I am in no way saying my level of intellect is close to Hermione’s, or that I was the cleverest person in my year group at school, I loved to learn and threw myself into every experience, just like Hermione would. I always did my homework, raised my hand in lessons, joined the debate team, got to the national finals of a children’s literature quiz and even won a prize for making the most effort in all of my classes. Very reminiscent of Hermione collecting up Gryffindor house points!

To begin with I didn’t feel ashamed – I adored trying new things and broadening my horizons. However, as I grew up, I started to realise it wasn’t cool to be so enthusiastic. The social side of school was rather difficult, and like Hermione, I didn’t have the easiest time making friends. When reading the Harry Potter books, I could always empathise with the way she managed to get on the wrong side of her peers – including those closest to her. After all, it was Ron that called her ‘a nightmare’ with no friends back in Philosopher’s Stone. To be honest, I am pretty sure similar words were said about me.

It wasn’t just my classmates that found me to be annoying, it was also some of my teachers. There was one that suggested at a parents’ evening that it might be a good idea if I just put my hand up less. That was a devastating blow to my confidence. Not only did it seem like my peers thought I was too much, now my teachers did too. Every time I re-read the moment where Snape called Hermione an ‘insufferable know-it-all’, I felt it deeply. It transported me right back to that humiliating time where I felt that I had to make myself smaller and hide a big part of my personality.

How to embrace your intelligence

Nevertheless, despite connecting with the tougher elements of Hermione’s experience while at school, I could always turn to the stories and to her character for comfort. It was great to find a character that had similar difficulties to me, but it was even better to find one which I could draw strength and inspiration from. I admired the way she handled those situations – and especially the way she kept going.

Hermione kept on learning as much as she possibly could and had confidence in her abilities. She never allowed the people who called her a know-it-all or exasperating to stop her. From the moment she burst into Harry and Ron’s train carriage on the Hogwarts Express, she was unapologetically herself. In fact, if she had allowed the nastiness of others to influence her, then the wizarding world would probably have been a very different place.

There were so many times that Hermione was the hero of the story and came to the rescue. In her very first year at Hogwarts, she was the one that figured out the mystery of Nicolas Flamel. In her second, she solved the puzzle of the Basilisk – long before Harry and Ron. In her third, she was allowed to use incredibly complex magic to travel in time so she could cram in more studying. Hermione was the one who really helped Harry get ready for the Triwizard Tournament. The formation of Dumbledore’s Army was her idea. And out of the golden trio, she was the one that managed to be the most prepared for the Horcrux hunt. What makes her more brilliant, is that these are merely a handful of examples of the fantastic things she did – they barely scratch the surface. If Hermione had let the critics get to her and squashed her talents, where would Harry and Ron have got to?

How to embrace your intelligence

That’s not to say Hermione always brushed everything off easily – she still showed vulnerability which only made her seem more relatable. Sometimes the animosity she faced did get to her. The most memorable incident being when she hid in the girls’ bathroom in Philosopher’s Stone. As a child, that was often described as ‘sensitive’, that more human side of her was reassuring. She proved to me that it’s how you move forward from hurtful things that matter, there’s no shame or harm in admitting something has caused you pain, but nothing good comes from allowing anyone to keep you down for too long.

This attitude is something that I still try to mimic as an adult. No longer am I the kid who felt as though they needed to curb their personality to suit those around them. I fully embrace my nerdy side and I don’t care if people don’t appreciate that part of me. I still enjoy learning and I won’t pretend to be less intelligent to stroke the ego of others. Luckily, I have found that as I have grown up and moved on from the confines of school, people actually like that part of me – which I didn’t believe was possible as a teenager.

I am also sure that I’m not the only one to take these lessons from this character. There will be plenty of other geeky folk that found it a struggle to find their place and fit in. Yet, Hermione will always be there to show that you should never be ashamed to embrace who you are. That is why the cleverest witch of her age continues to be my hero today.

How to embrace your intelligence

On this episode of 22 Motivational Minutes, Marlo breaks down the topic of emotional intelligence and how it impacts business today. Joshua Freedman is the CEO of the world’s largest emotional intelligence community. Listen in as we take this topic to a granular level. Joshua shares why the United Nations is so interested in EQ and what the future looks like for this topic. EQ is something to DO, not just sitting on a cushion and meditating.

What are you feeling?

What options do you have?

What do you really want?

In this episode you will find:

10:10 – performance questions

10:13 – Being smarter with feelings

10:14 – emotions are…

10:15 – 3 questions to ask yourself

10:19 – attention and ask yourself

10:21 – being awake, present and peaceful

For over a decade Joshua has led organizations and people to higher performance by helping them use emotions more effectively. An author, educator, consultant and trainer, Josh is one of the world leading experts on developing emotional intelligence. Focused on teaching leaders and professionals to understand and manage the emotional and people side of breakthrough performance, he leads the world’s most extensive network of emotional intelligence practitioners and researchers providing training on every continent to clients such FedEx, US Navy & Marine Corps, Make-A-Wish Foundation, Microsoft, and numerous educational, governmental, and social service organizations.

Talk of emotional intelligence, or EQ, and its importance for business success has been around for years, but some leaders still think it is touchy-feely nonsense.

The problem with this train of thought? Nothing could be further from the truth. EQ can actually make or break a person’s career, and that means every leader needs to be smart about emotional intelligence. Still not sold?

According to Emotional Intelligence 2.0, those with high EQ earn an average of $29,000 more annually compared to their low-EQ counterparts. Other studies have found when companies hire for EQ, sales go up and turnover goes down.

The 4 parts of emotional intelligence

Unsure what EQ is?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a competency. It includes the ability to recognize, understand and manage our own emotions. It’s also the ability to recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others. Individuals with high EQ tend to be less stressed and communicate better than their low EQ peers because they empathize with others and manage their reactions to their own and others’ emotions. Emotional intelligence breaks down into these four areas:

  • Self-awareness – The ability to recognize your emotions, strengths and weaknesses, and how your emotions affect your thoughts and behavior. Self-confidence is an important aspect of self-awareness because you have to trust yourself to judge your own emotions.
  • Maturity – The ability to manage your emotions in healthy ways, control impulsive behaviors, take initiative, follow through on promises and react with flexibility to change. Maturity refers to your ability to manage yourself and translates into others perceiving you as trustworthy, adaptable and conscientious.
  • Social skills – The ability to understand others, recognize emotional cues and body language, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the dynamics of a group. Social skills allow you to communicate clearly, influence others and manage conflict constructively.
  • Rapport – The ability to develop and maintain healthy relationships, communicate clearly, influence others, work in a team and manage conflict. In the workplace, relationship management helps you build bonds with co-workers, work toward goals cooperatively and coach effectively.

What does an employee with high EQ look like?

Team leader Jennifer is highly frustrated about a project and wants to yell at someone (self-awareness). However, she recognizes that wouldn’t be productive or reflect well on her ability to manage the project or her team (maturity and social skills). So, she takes a walk around the building to clear her head and focus on potential solutions (maturity). When she gets back, she discusses these solutions with her team, guiding them back into productivity (rapport).

EQ vs. IQ vs. personality

It’s common to confuse EQ with intelligence (IQ) or personality traits. However, these are all separate pieces of the self.

Think of IQ as your hardware. Your IQ is the ability to internalize information, process problems, and think critically. Personality traits are more hardware – whether you function as an introvert or extrovert, avoid conflict or react easily to change.

EQ is the software. Your emotional intelligence guides how you interact, empathize and handle those around you – and yourself – as you process problems or react to change. Like software, EQ can be learned and adjusted to suit new business situations. This means that EQ can also be unlearned if those skills aren’t continuously practiced.

Just one example: Your IT manager, Ken, tends to be a quiet guy (personality) who learns new software incredibly fast (intelligence). He’s quite passionate about IT security, which is an asset to your company, but if you get him going on the topic he doesn’t know when to stop (EQ). Ken can learn to recognize others’ body language and tailor his behavior to fit his surroundings (EQ).

EQ mistakes in business

Managers with good EQ inherently understand the need to be cognizant of others. These high-EQ managers understand that:

  • Emotions play a tangible role in the business world. The manager skilled in EQ can guide and encourage her employees to have pride in the company, feel satisfaction in a job well done, or be thankful for and have loyalty to a supportive boss.
  • Body language and other nonverbal cues need to be read and understood. We’ve all worked with someone who stands too close and makes everyone uncomfortable. This is just one example of a lack of self-awareness and social skills. Being able to “read the room” pays off for employees at all levels because they can gear their communication for the situation at hand, fostering greater productivity.
  • Getting to know your team is critical for success. On a micro level, a manager who doesn’t know who is striving for a promotion and why, or who is overwhelmed at home is unable to optimize the performance of his team. This can lead to missed targets, lost opportunities and productivity, inefficiencies, frustration and turnover.
  • Adapting to your company culture is essential. At the macro level, misunderstanding corporate culture can get a manager in trouble fast. Say a new employee pushes acceptance of a vendor he used in a former job, not recognizing that his vendor will displace another company that’s an old favorite of the CEO. This lack of EQ may color the CEO’s opinion of the new manager for years to come.

Building a better team through EQ

First, become more aware of your own strengths and blind spots when it comes to emotional intelligence. You can try this free EQ testing tool.

Learn to recognize stress or tension in yourself and others, and learn how to reduce it. Stress is not only unhealthy, which translates to absenteeism, but also leads to poor communication, causing mistakes and misunderstandings that lead to more stress.

Find ways to keep yourself calm and focused during stressful times, and encourage your team to do the same. Sometimes just acknowledging your team’s stress can improve everyone’s outlook.

Embrace the fact that conflict and disagreements aren’t always bad. It’s inevitable that team members will come at the same problem in different ways. Encourage creativity and employee engagement by pointing out the good ideas and the problems from both camps, and asking the groups to work as a team to resolve their issues.

Discover how a strong company culture can make your business more productive and profitable. Download: How to Develop a Top-notch Workforce That Will Accelerate Your Business.


According to Psychology Today , intelligence is “…a construct that includes problem solving abilities, spatial manipulation and language acquisition.” The American Psychological Association describes the definition of intelligence as all about how well our intellect functions, and what we often measure using IQ tests, aimed at measuring our intelligence quotients. Intelligence measured by IQ tests isn’t the be all and end all. Regardless of the number of languages that you learn to speak, the amount of information you memorize, and even how well you can complete math problems, intelligence inevitably is a more complex measure. Unfortunately , “IQ and technical skills will only get you so far.”

Two types of intelligences that are unmeasurable in IQ tests are pivotal for success in leadership levels in business, and even in innovation, as evidenced in the category for a recent Fast Company article about why venture capitalists look at one of these types of intelligence: innovation agents. These two kinds of intelligence are Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and Social Intelligence (SQ) .

Social Intelligence

Psychology Today states that social intelligence “…develops from experience with people and learning from success and failures in social settings. It is more commonly referred to as “tact,” “common sense,” or “street smarts.”

The magazine describes critical traits for people with high SQ:

  • They can carry on conversations with a wide array of people and verbally communicate with appropriate and tactful words, also known as “social expressiveness skills.”
  • They’re adept at learning how to play different social roles, and well-versed at the informal rules of the game that are the creed of social interaction.
  • They’re known to be excellent listeners.
  • They know how to efficiently analyze what makes people tick by paying attention to what they’re saying and how they’re behaving.
  • Not only do they know how to learn to play different social roles; they put those skills into practice to feel at ease with many different types of personalities.
  • They take care of the impression of themselves they exude on other people. This is the hardest skillset because it requires “…a delicate balance between managing and controlling the image you portray to others and being reasonably “authentic” and letting others see the true self.”

Emotional Intelligence

In contrast to SQ, Psychology Today describes emotional intelligence as “ … the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others.” Emotional intelligence contains three competencies:

  • Emotional awareness
  • Applying emotions to processes such as problem-solving and thinking
  • Emotion management implied as both being able to help control other peoples’ feelings as well as your own.

While the following video explaining the EQ concept has more concepts than what was in the Psychology Today article, it successfully breaks down this idea that will help you capitalize human ingenuity:

Emotional intelligence, in fact, is now entering the evaluation criteria for venture capitalists. Fast Company recently interviewed eight VCs about five questions they ask startup founders as they look to award funding. They are:

  • How often do they consult with others?
  • How do they inspire and encourage people?
  • How do they handle tough questions?
  • Can they stay flexible without losing focus?
  • What type of team have they assembled?

The goal from asking these questions related to emotional intelligence is to see how potential founders handle emotions in constantly-changing, fast-paced environments that feel like pressure cookers. Thus, VCs will be more willing to invest in those capable of developing and maintaining long-term relationships.

Keeping these skills in mind will help you in your quest of adapting your team, and even your overall organization, to the pressure-cooker VUCA world.

Together, they are ESI

When EQ and IQ come together, they form ESI, or Emotional and Social Intelligence. ESI competencies are those “…linked to self-awareness, self-management and relationship management, which enable people to understand and manage their own and others’ emotions in social interactions.” What does this combination mean for me? Think about how we said that technical skills and IQ are not enough to differentiate who will be the best leader, while some may wish that was the case. ESI competencies , rather than IQ and technical ones, are responsible for the gap between the performance of those leaders that are great from those just deemed average. Fortunately, while IQ often gets set in stone early on in life, ESI competencies can be learned and improved over time.

So, how are they different?

Both skillsets are critical for embracing innovation. But, when do we use emotional intelligence and when do we use social intelligence? Will Chou breaks it down like this:

Social intelligence, Chou says, is more about the future. Social intelligence came about so that people could survive, and it’s about figuring out the best way for you to get along, and come out of a situation with a favorable outcome. Even if you have the qualifications on paper, a lack of social intelligence could lead to strained or ruined relationships, as well as lost opportunities. As much as you would maybe like to be blunt with someone when giving feedback, you may try to edit your words to try to convey constructive criticism without putting your foot in your mouth.

In contrast, emotional intelligence is more about the present, and thus more closely related to emotions and feelings. By reading someone’s face, you can tell whether that person is happy, incredibly nervous before going into a job interview, or shy because that person happens to be in his or her own corner in the middle of a party.

How does this apply to Innovation for Growth?

EQ and SQ, combined with your IQ, will be key to harnessing the concepts and frameworks in the Innovation for Growth program to tap your most strategic asset: human ingenuity. You’ll be able to get the most out of your team if you know how to build relationships with them and bring them into your overall strategic goals.

Ready to up your SQ and EQ?

If you’re eager to know more about the Innovation for Growth HiOP, click here for your copy of our informational brochure. And if you’re set on joining us in our next intake, get started on your application .

How to embrace your intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) describes a person’s ability to recognize his or her own and other people’s emotions, to understand the powerful effect of these emotions, and to use that information to guide thinking and behavior. You can imagine why this quality greatly increases one’s efforts to achieve success.

A couple of weeks ago, I published a list of five brilliant TED talks that have helped me increase my own self-awareness and target areas for improvement. Response was amazing, with thousands of readers sharing the article and reaching out to express appreciation.

So, here are five more of my favorites.

1. Martin Pistorius: How My Mind Came Back to Life—and No One Knew

I figured I’d start with a doozy. At 12 years of age, Martin Pistorius contracted a brain infection and lost the ability to communicate. His parents were told that, for all intents and purposes, he had become a “vegetable” and was no longer mentally aware. But in reality, Martin’s mind had begun to knit itself back together. The problem? No one knew it.

This talk will make you cry, but it will also make you smile. Through it all, you’ll learn the value of a simple smile, the remarkable power of the mind, and why it’s important to look beyond the first impression.

2. Phil Hansen: Embrace the Shake

When Phil Hansen developed a tremor in his hand that initially destroyed his dream of becoming an artist, he was devastated. But a neurologist’s amazingly simple advice changed his life. (I guarantee you will be amazed at what resulted.)

Hansen’s incredible 10-minute talk will help you to appreciate how the power of perspective can turn seemingly insurmountable obstacles into unexpected gifts.

3. Taiye Selasi: Don’t Ask Where I’m From, Ask Where I’m Local

How do you answer the question, “Where are you from?” If you’re like Taiye Selasi, you know that can be a challenging question. Selasi was born in England, grew up in the United States, and has lived and felt emotional connections to a number of other places, for various reasons.

In her search for an answer, Selasi challenges us to explore why we ask that question in the first place. In the process, she also helps us to see that we all share more in common than you might think.

4.BJ Miller: What Really Matters at the End of Life

As a palliative care physician, BJ Miller is uniquely qualified to explore this topic. A gifted storyteller, Miller will fascinate, enlighten, and inspire you. But this talk is much bigger than the difficult subject that Miller tackles.

It’s an exercise in developing empathy and compassion for all with whom we work and live with on a daily basis.

5.Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

Dr. Brene Brown is world-famous for her studies on human connection. She describes herself as a researcher-storyteller, and this talk is a perfect example why.

In her years of research, Dr. Brown discovered that “vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.” So, what gives?

With the perfect dose of humor, Brown’s insightful talk will help you to see vulnerability, not as a weakness, but as an opportunity.

How to embrace your intelligenceHow to embrace your intelligenceHow to embrace your intelligenceHow to embrace your intelligence

103: How to Show Up Consistently and Authentically in Your Business
105: Get Your Business Online with Chrissy Rey

How to embrace your intelligence

Let’s talk about emotional intelligence.

In the Leading Ladies masterclass, we follow the acronym L.E.A.D.E.R. These letters stand for the key components that I believe make up the best leaders. There’s the learner’s mindset, engagement, authenticity, dedication to purpose and mission, emotional intelligence, and resilience.

In this episode of The Leading Lady podcast, I wanted to talk to you about emotional intelligence. Many people think that this means that you understand your emotions or you are able to read the emotions of others. However, when I discuss it with my masterclass, I like to go a little deeper.

Certain key components make up emotional intelligence that you need to keep in mind. There’s self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, empathy, and social skills. These components are vital if you want to be an emotionally intelligent person.

How does this relate to business? It’s actually extremely vital in business because in order to be good leaders we have to be aware of our triggers, our feelings, and know the difference between angry, sad, or nervous.

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • The components of emotional intelligence
  • How to become more self-aware
  • Why we have the power to change how we show up in the world
  • The impact of empathy
  • Why we have to take ownership of our emotions and how we respond to things
  • How social skills are important if you want to have emotional intelligence

These components are all impactful in how you show up as a leader. They affect how you lead a team, run your company, or make decisions in an organization.

When you are emotionally intelligent, you are more grounded in your values because you know how you show up is how you want to show up.

Share with me how emotional intelligence impacts your business, leadership role, or organization! If it’s something you’re working on or if it’s something you feel that you do really well with, I would love to hear your thoughts and insights on this topic. I do read every message sent to me so don’t be afraid to reach out.

I hope you found this episode helpful and that you are able to go into your week with more awareness of your emotions and how they impact yourself and other people!


Senior Lecturer in Applied Ethics & CyberSecurity, Griffith University

Disclosure statement

David Tuffley does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.


Griffith University provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU.

It could be argued artificial intelligence (AI) is already the indispensable tool of the 21st century. From helping doctors diagnose and treat patients to rapidly advancing new drug discoveries, it’s our trusted partner in so many ways.

Now it has found its way into the once exclusively-human domain of love and relationships. With AI-systems as matchmakers, in the coming decades it may become common to date a personalised avatar.

This was explored in the 2014 movie “Her”, in which a writer living in near-future Los Angeles develops affection for an AI system. The sci-fi film won an Academy Award for depicting what seemed like a highly unconventional love story.

In reality, we’ve already started down this road.

Delving into the human psyche

The online dating industrty is worth more than US$4 billion and there are a growing number of players in this market. Dominating it is the Match Group, which owns OkCupid, Match, Tinder and 45 other dating-related businesses.

Match and its competitors have accumulated a rich trove of personal data, which AI can analyse to predict how we choose partners.

The industry is majorly embracing AI. For instance, Match has an AI-enabled chatbot named “Lara” who guides people through the process of romance, offering suggestions based on up to 50 personal factors.

Tinder co-founder and CEO Sean Rad outlines his vision of AI being a simplifier: a smart filter that serves up what it knows a person is interested in.

Dating website eHarmony has used AI that analyses people’s chat and sends suggestions about how to make the next move. Happn uses AI to “rank” profiles and show those it predicts a user might prefer.

Loveflutter’s AI takes the guesswork out of moving the relationship along, such as by suggesting a restaurant both parties could visit. And Badoo uses facial recognition to suggest a partner that may look like a celebrity crush.

How to embrace your intelligence

Dating platforms are using AI to analyse all the finer details. From the results, they can identify a greater number of potential matches for a user.

They could also potentially examine a person’s public posts on social media websites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to get a sense of their attitudes and interests.

This would circumvent bias in how people represent themselves on matchmaking questionnaires. Research has shown inaccuracies in self-reported attributes are the main reason online dating isn’t successful.

While the sheer amount of data on the web is too much for a person to process, it’s all grist to the mill for a smart matchmaking AI.

Shovelling your data into the dating sandbox

As more user data is generated on the internet (especially on social media), AI will be able to make increasingly accurate predictions. Big players such as would be well-placed for this as they already have access to large pools of data.

And where there is AI there will often be its technological sibling, virtual reality (VR). As both evolve simultaneously, we’ll likely see versions of VR in which would-be daters can “practice” in simulated environments to avoid slipping up on a real date.

This isn’t a far stretch considering “virtual girlfriends”, which are supposed to help people practice dating, have already existed for some years and are maturing as a technology. A growing number of offerings point to a significant degree of interest in them.

With enough user data, future AI could eventually create a fully-customised partner for you in virtual reality – one that checks all your “boxes”. Controversially, the next step would be to experience an avatar as a physical entity.

It could inhabit a life-like android and become a combined interactive companion and sex partner. Such advanced androids don’t exist yet, but they could one day.

Proponents of companion robots argue this technology helps meet a legitimate need for more intimacy across society — especially for the elderly, widowed and people with disabilities.

Meanwhile, critics warn of the inherent risks of objectification, racism and dehumanisation — particularly of women, but also men.

How to embrace your intelligence

Using tech to save us from the problems of tech?

Another problematic consequence may be rising numbers of socially reclusive people who substitute technology for real human interaction. In Japan, this phenomenon (called “hikikomori”) is quite prevalent.

At the same time, Japan has also experienced a severe decline in birth rates for decades. The National Institute of Population and Social Security Research predicts the population will fall from 127 million to about 88 million by 2065.

Concerned by the declining birth rate, the Japanese government last month announced it would pour two billion yen (about A$25,000,000) into an AI-based matchmaking system.

AI as a facilitator, not a replacement

The debate on digital and robotic “love” is highly polarised, much like most major debates in the history of technology. Usually, consensus is reached somewhere in the middle.

But in this debate, it seems the technology is advancing faster than we are approaching a consensus.

Generally, the most constructive relationship a person can have with technology is one in which the person is in control, and the technology helps enhance their experiences. For technology to be in control is dehumanising.

Humans have leveraged new technologies for millenia. Just as we learned how to use fire without burning down cities, so too we will have to learn the risks and rewards accompanying future tech.

Emotional intelligence interview questions help hiring managers and recruiters assess EQ in job candidates as part of the interview process. Selecting the right EQ interview questions can be a key factor in finding the best employees who’ll fit in the company culture.

Are you a candidate?

How to embrace your intelligence

Why test candidates for emotional intelligence

High levels of Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ) play an important role in employee performance. EQ interview questions give recruiters and hiring managers a deeper understanding of a candidate’s ability to:

  • be aware of their own and other people’s emotions
  • recognize and regulate their behavior
  • and manage their emotions to adapt to different environments.

These qualities are an important decision factor in a successful hire, because employees with high emotional and social intelligence:

  • collaborate effectively with their teammates
  • embrace open communication
  • and adapt well to change.

Recruiters and hiring managers should measure emotional intelligence by asking specific questions that are relevant to the role they’re hiring for. For example, an emotionally intelligent salesperson is able to manage their frustration when listening to clients’ complaints. Similarly, a developer with a high EQ doesn’t get upset when their colleagues find bugs in their code during code reviews – instead, they accept their colleagues’ feedback and refocus on their work.

Certain emotional qualities are essential for all team members, regardless of their role. Emotionally intelligent employees have a natural empathy for other people’s feelings, which makes them thrive in a team environment. They build trusting relationships and effectively communicate with coworkers and customers. They’re also aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, which means they’re usually more open to receiving feedback than employees with lower levels of social intelligence or emotional awareness.

Consider adding an emotional intelligence assessment to your hiring process by asking some of these questions during your first or second-stage interview round:

Emotional intelligence interview questions

  • Tell me about a time you faced an ethical dilemma at work. How did you deal with it and what was the result?
  • Tell me about a time someone criticized your work. How did you respond and what did you learn?
  • How would you resolve a dispute between two colleagues?
  • If a customer called to complain that the price of our product/service is too high, how would you handle it?
  • Tell me about a time you had a conflict with your supervisor. How did you resolve it?

How to assess candidates’ emotional intelligence

  • Give your candidates some time to think of something from their personal experience. Or, give them a hypothetical scenario to test how they’d react. Choose something that they’re likely to face if you hired them. If your candidates describe a past experience, they should be able to elaborate and give you the entire picture. If necessary, ask further questions.
    • “What did your coworker say after that?”
    • “How did your relationship with your supervisor change?
    • Or “did you face a similar situation with a different client?”
  • Pay attention to your candidates’ reactions and body language as they answer your questions. Do they still seem unhappy when talking about negative feedback they received from their manager, or can they explain how they improved as a result of the feedback they received?
  • Tailor your questions to scenarios that match your company operations. For different roles, some emotional intelligence qualities matter more than others. For example, if a salesperson claims that they don’t react to client complaints, that could mean that they are indifferent or unmotivated and easily give up. But, for a social media coordinator, this response could be a good sign; instead of immediately responding to a bad comment, they might choose to get in touch and address the issue in a more discreet, appropriate way.
  • Translate the answers you get into real work experiences. Avoiding conflicts can be considered an advantage in some cases. But in a professional team, it’s an indicator of an employee who suppresses emotions and could cause collaboration and performance issues in the long-term.

Red flags

If candidates give a variation of one of the following responses, it’s likely that they may not have the emotional intelligence required for your position:

  • Boilerplate, templated answers, like: “I had a disagreement with a colleague on a project, but we sat down, discussed and solved the issue.” These kinds of answers seem ‘canned’ and give no specific examples from experience in real work environments.
  • Short, general answers, like “I stay calm under pressure” or “I’m good at collaborating with other people.” These answers are too vague to be useful – look for detailed responses that draw on an experience, instead.
  • Criticizing or accusing supervisors and/or coworkers. Candidates who criticize others may lack self assessment skills and avoid taking accountability for their actions. However, it’s not necessarily off-putting if a candidate describes a negative experience, so long as they have learned from their mistakes and changed their behavior.
  • Contradictory body language signals. Candidates who seem uncomfortable answering emotional intelligence questions, or who demonstrate poor impulse control, usually don’t perform well under stressful situations.

How to embrace your intelligence

  • Saturday Jun 05 2021 from 11:00 am until 03:00 pm
  • Bossa Nova Hotel, Beirut, Lebanon [See map][Hide map]

Embrace Your Emotions- An Emotional Intelligence workshop

An Emotional Intelligence workshop conducted by Personal & Professional Life Coach Adel Hakimi. During this workshop you will learn about emotional embracing & management which will help you increase your self & social awarenesses & enhance your self & social management skills. You will leave the workshop with the ability to:
-build emotional self awareness.
-improve emotional self management.
-become more social aware.
-enhance your social management skills.
– adopt a new perspective on emotional embracing & management.

Fees: 200,000 LL (including free parking & coffee break)
For registration & inquiries: +961-70447997
Limited seats

Conductor’s Bio:
Adel Hakimi is a Personal & Professional Life Coach & a Certified Management Accountant (CMA) based in Beirut, Lebanon. He works one-on-one with clients through coaching them on achieving major goals related to personal development & career advancement. He is also a Chief Operator at Embrace (an NGO that raises mental health awareness & provides a national lifeline service). He holds a certificate in life coaching from PragmaDoms institution which provides ICF (International Coach Federation) accredited coach training programs, a Masters in Finance from Hult International Business School in San Francisco, & a Bachelors of Business Accounting from the Lebanese American University in Beirut.

How well we handle our emotions can directly influence how we handle ourselves and our relationships. This emotional intelligence helps us analyze and think creatively while engaging our emotions to resolve problems.

Using your emotional intelligence in the workplace can help you be a more productive and effective employee, leading you to greater professional success.

What Is Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace?

Emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) consists of three main components:

  1. Accurately identifying your emotions and the emotions of others.
  2. Managing emotions, which includes controlling your emotions and the ability to influence others’ emotions (like calming them down or cheering them up).
  3. Using emotions and applying them to tasks like thinking and problem-solving.

Employees who possess these abilities generally have higher emotional intelligence. And those with higher emotional intelligence tend to be more successful at work because they are better able to:

  • Solve problems
  • Keep cool under pressure
  • Resolve conflicts
  • Listen, reflect, and respond to constructive criticism

In fact, one survey found emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of high performance, with 90% of top performers ranking high in emotional intelligence.

Using Emotional Intelligence for Professional Success

Using your emotional intelligence can help you attain workplace success. Here’s how.

1. Helps You Be Self-Motivated

Individuals with high levels of emotional intelligence tend to be self-motivated. The primary force behind their motivation is not title or money. What drives emotionally intelligent people is their intrinsic motivation—a sense of ambition.

These individuals possess the self-drive to achieve and improve, readiness to act on opportunities, a commitment to personal and organizational goals, and the capability to stay positive and keep on going in the face of setbacks.

2. Increases Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence and is also influential in our personal and organizational growth. Studies have found that employees with high emotional intelligence tend to be much more self-aware.

They understand and realize how their actions can affect other colleagues. Their performance is not affected by their resentment or grievance. They take feedback and criticism positively and are typically ready to learn from their mistakes.

3. Boosts Positivity

A high level of emotional intelligence empowers positivity. Employees with a positive attitude don’t hide from arduous endeavors, and they consider failure a learning opportunity.

A positive attitude enables you to be more creative, resourceful, flexible, and open-minded.

4. Increases Empathy

Empathy among employees leads to stronger relationships, mutual respect, trust, and openness. It helps you have a better understanding of your colleague’s situation, actively listen, and act accordingly. Empathy enables everyone to operate better as a team, connect with colleagues, and genuinely work together to achieve their common organizational goals.

5. Helps You Embrace Change

Individuals with high levels of emotional intelligence don’t run away in the face of change—they typically embrace it. They understand and accept that change is the only constant in life.

They’re also able to effectively and efficiently handle the psychological challenges associated with change. They’re able to manage several diverse demands from their stakeholders and shift priorities with ease.

Success In Many Forms

Success takes many forms, and there’s no one right path to get there. While your skills and drive can lead to success, your emotional intelligence can help elevate your career to greater heights.

For more tips like this, sign up for our newsletter. You’ll get the best advice, fresh job postings, and more sent right to your inbox.

Don’t forget to share this article with friends!

How to embrace your intelligence

Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship.

Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship.

Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship.

How to embrace your intelligence

What does it mean to accept your partner’s influence? And how do you do it?

In the Japanese martial art of Aikido, there’s a central principle called Yield to Win, which is a method of using your opponent’s energy and actions against them to win a fight, rather than strong-arming them into submission. It allows you to conserve energy and choose much more effective and efficient tactics.

But we definitely don’t want you using Aikido moves on your partner!

For our purposes, yielding to win means accepting, understanding, and allowing your partner’s perspective, feelings, and needs into your decision-making process as a couple. It means really listening to your partner and forming compromises so that you both feel satisfied.

Which is really more like yielding to win-win, and that’s we’re aiming for.

When men learn how to accept their partner’s influence and work toward a win-win solution, the outcomes are wonderful in heterosexual marriages. In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, we discovered that men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.

And this critical skill is not limited to heterosexual couples at all. In fact, research shows that same-sex couples are notably better at it than straight couples. Straight husbands can learn a lot from gay husbands , and they’d be wise to do so.

Rejecting influence is a dangerous move

Marriage can absolutely survive moments of anger, complaints, or criticism, and even some longer periods of negativity if conflict is managed in a healthy and respectful way. They can even flourish because conflict provides an opportunity for growth as a couple. But couples get in trouble when they match negativity with negativity instead of making repairs to de-escalate conflict.

As Mahatma Gandhi famously said, “An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.”

Clearly, counterattacking during an argument does not solve an issue or help to form a compromise. It does not allow your partner’s influence in the decision-making process. Our research shows that 65% of men increase negativity during an argument. And the Four Horsemen—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling—are telltale signs that a man is resisting his wife’s influence.

This is not to insult or belittle men, and usually, it’s not a personality fault or cognitive shortcoming. Rather, it is to enlighten men as to some instincts and tendencies they might have, but of which they aren’t aware.

There are simply some differences in how men and women experience conflict (for example, men are more prone to stonewalling, and 85% of stonewallers in our research were men). It takes two to make a marriage work and it is vital for all couples to make honor and respect central tenets of their relationships. But our research indicates that a majority of wives—even in unhappy marriages—already do this.

This doesn’t mean women don’t get angry and even contemptuous of their husbands. It just means that they tend to let their husbands influence their decision making by taking their opinions and feelings into account.

Unfortunately, data suggests that men often do not return the favor.

If heterosexual men in relationships don’t accept their partner’s influence, there is an 81% chance that a marriage will self-implode.

Men, it’s time to yield to win-win.

What men can learn from women

Some say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. While this is a common saying that cannot be true (obviously, we’re all from Earth and we have much more in common than we think), men and women often do feel different from each other.

This difference can start in childhood. When boys play games, their focus is on winning, not their emotions or the others playing. If one of the boys get hurt, he gets ignored and removed from the game. You see this in team sports all the time. Maybe someone comes to help carry the injured player off the field, but the game must go on.

But here’s the difference. In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman explains that “the truth is that ‘girlish’ games offer far better preparation for marriage and family life because they focus on relationships.” And that isn’t necessarily about gender roles, but about learning emotional intelligence.

Developing emotional intelligence is the first step

The husband who lacks emotional intelligence rejects his partner’s influence because he typically fears a loss of power. And because he is unwilling to accept influence, he will not be influential, and that dynamic will result in gridlock.

On the other hand, the emotionally intelligent husband is interested in his partner’s emotions because he honors and respects her. While this husband may not express his emotions in the same way his partner does, he will learn how to better connect with her by listening to and validating her perspective, understanding her needs, and expressing empathy.

When his partner needs to talk about something, an emotionally intelligent husband will set aside what he’s doing at the moment and talk with her. He will pick “we” over “me,” which shows solidarity with his partner. He will understand his partner’s inner world and continue to admire her, and he will communicate this respect by turning towards her.

His relationship, sex life, and overall happiness will be far greater than the man who lacks emotional intelligence.

The emotionally intelligent husband can also be a more supportive and empathetic father because he is not afraid of expressing and identifying emotions. He and his partner can teach their children to understand and respect their emotions, and they will validate their children’s emotions. And our Emotion Coaching parenting program is based on the power of emotional intelligence, which we can all benefit from learning.

How to accept influence

It’s most likely that men who resist their wives influence do so without realizing it. It happens, and that’s okay, but it’s time to learn how to accept influence. It is both a mindset and a skill cultivated by paying attention to your partner every day and supporting them. This means working on three essential relationship components: building your Love Maps, expressing your fondness and admiration, and accepting bids for connection.

And when conflict happens, the key is to listen intently to your partner’s point of view, to let them know that you understand them, to ask them what they need, and to be willing to compromise. One way to do this is for each of you to identify your core needs and search, together, for where those needs overlap. Then you can find common ground upon which to make decisions together.

That’s how you accept influence. Want to have a happy and stable marriage? Make your commitment to your partner stronger than your commitment to winning.

If you do that, you win, your partner wins, and, most importantly, your marriage will thrive.

If you want to build a deeply meaningful relationship full of trust and intimacy, then subscribe below to receive our blog posts directly to your inbox:

by Jen Durant , May 4, 2018

How to embrace your intelligence

How to embrace your intelligence

Keep Think Creative

How to embrace your intelligence

How to embrace your intelligence

What might a creatively intelligent person look like?

Many creatively intelligent people work regular jobs that often lack any kind of association to “creative”. In fact, you might be surprised to learn that many of these people don’t think of themselves as “creative”. Unfortunately, this may lead to feelings of depression, a lack of belonging, or being labeled with, “over sensitive” and “over emotional”.

What this brings to mind is how we view and interact with our world. If you love to daydream and explore the world around you. If you’re curious and are always noticing something new or inspiring then you might just be creatively intelligent.

“Highly creative people often face a lifetime of hardship and psychological pain because they do not see themselves or their abilities clearly. The abilities of highly creative people are frequently hidden under emotional, occupational and relationship difficulties.” -Mary Taylor, LCSW, of the Creative Intelligence Centre

Many have been so focused on what is directly in front of them that they miss a more beautiful, more fulfilling, more intense world. One where they are led by the passion of the heart rather than a fear of failing at a “normal” job or life. But, what is failure really? Some of our greatest achievements can be born from a perceived failure. Still not convinced? Check out these famous failures.

How to embrace your intelligence

Joy of Creativity

How to embrace your intelligence

Creative Brains With Peonies

How to embrace your intelligence

Are you someone that possesses creative intelligence?

I’m going to take a risk here and say if you’re reading this, then chances are – yes.

Author Orna Ross has put together a list of questions you can ask yourself to discover if you’re a hidden highly creative individual. We’ve included a few of her questions below. She suggests grabbing a notebook and writing down your answers. Do 3 or more resonate with you? Then you’re most likely highly creative.

  • Do you feel different from those around you or that you are on a different “path” than most?
  • Have you been told you “think too much” or are “too much of a perfectionist”?
  • Do/did your schoolteachers berate you for daydreaming or staring out the window?
  • Do you experience a level of imaginative activity that few around you seem to understand?
  • Do you believe you have “too many” interests?
  • Have you been told you are “overly emotional”?
  • Have you been told you are “too sensitive”?
  • Do people frequently ask you for advice — while you feel there is no one who understands you?

Have you ever experienced any of the above? Share your thoughts on creative intelligence in the comments below.

You may know your IQ but experts say knowing your EQ can make all the difference in your personal and professional life.

How to embrace your intelligence


From benchmark testing to IQ tests and the SAT, the list of methods to measure one’s intellectual prowess goes on and on. This hardly comes as a surprise, given that our IQ can carry a substantial weight in modern society. Often playing a role in college admissions and job placements, our intellectual intelligence has clearly taken precedence in determining our capabilities. But are IQ tests really the only (or the best) way to measure our intellect?

There is another form of intelligence that can give us an alternative perspective on mental capabilities. Coined “emotional intelligence” (also known as emotional quotient or EQ) by researchers Peter Salovey, now president of Yale University, and John Mayer in 1990 , the term has come to define our ability to recognize, interpret and respond to the emotions in ourselves and others.

Emotional Intelligence in a Nutshell

Are you someone who remains calm and collected even under the most distressing situations? Or, do you break down at the drop of a hat? Your emotional intelligence has a lot to do with how you react in various situations. Emotional intelligence is a skill that develops over time due to a combination of genetics and life experiences . Luckily, it is also a skill that can be learned or improved.

Now you may think that emotions seem like a broad category to measure. A study on the role of emotional intelligence and its influence in various situations gives us a hint on where to start. The study broke down EQ into three dimensions of emotions: perception and understanding, labeling and expressing, managing and regulating.

The first step in understanding emotional intelligence is self-awareness. This involves recognizing our various moods and their effects on others. Let’s say you had a bad day at work that made you depressed. Recognizing this emotion and how it might impact your interactions with others is a step in the right direction. However, simply recognizing the emotion isn’t enough.

Our emotions often need a concrete label in order to articulate our feelings to others. This ability to name and express our sentiments is the second step in achieving emotional intelligence skills. And you’re likely familiar with the phrase, “Think before you act.” This is essentially the final facet of EQ, which involves successfully regulating and controlling your emotions. This includes the ability to handle powerful emotions , such as anger, and redirect them in a positive or healthy manner.

How to Measure Your EQ

To find out how you rank in the emotional intelligence department, you need to assess your EQ. Measuring your EQ will indicate your ability to appropriately interpret and react to the emotions in yourself and others. In fact, many companies have started to embrace measuring their employee’s EQ as an assessment tool. Three common ways to do so include self-report surveys, other-report surveys and ability tests.

Self-report surveys typically involve filling out a questionnaire where participants are asked to score themselves on a scale of 1 to 5. This method has come under scrutiny in recent years due to responses being too subjective. Self-report surveys can also show skewed results due to respondents attempting to match their answers to more socially desirable or acceptable outcomes.

Other-report surveys seek feedback from colleagues of the subject. According to Harvard Business Review , formal 360-degree assessments, which are evaluations that incorporate observations of your behavior from your coworkers, tend to be the best predictors of business performance, job and life satisfaction and your leadership skills. These observations are essentially assessments of your emotional intellect rather than your IQ.

Ability tests involve an assessment of skills based on an individual’s response to situational scenarios. These tests are often administered by mental health professionals. There are two different types of ability tests : Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) and the Emotional and Social Competence Inventory (ESCI). The MSCEIT tests an individual’s emotional perception and management skills while the ESCI involves having people who are familiar with you rate your emotional and social abilities in different environments.

Emotions play a key role in the overall quality of our lives both personally and professionally. High emotional intelligence has proven to be a desirable trait with a multitude of benefits including improved communication skills, better relationships and reduced stress and anxiety. In fact, by some measures, your EQ matters just as much, if not more, than your IQ. According to a survey for hiring managers, 75% agreed that they valued an employee’s EQ more than their IQ. Ultimately, our strength to understand the emotions of ourselves and those around us is irreplaceable. While not everyone encompasses high emotional intelligence, the good news is that our EQ is flexible and typically tends to increase with age .

How to embrace your intelligence

What qualities come to mind when you think of a good leader or a good boss? I am sure that no matter who you ask, the answer will include traits such as charisma, empathy, resilience, integrity, confidence, or decision-making skills. These are all characteristics of emotional intelligence.

Every good professional or entrepreneur must have a healthy dose of emotional intelligence to thrive at work. As a matter of fact, EQ (emotional intelligence) is more important than IQ to predict performance. But what does emotional intelligence look like at work?

5 Examples of What EQ Looks Like at Work

  1. You get along with others naturally
  2. You respond carefully, even in the face of a challenge
  3. You have the ability to work well in teams
  4. You are proactive and can adjust to change
  5. You listen carefully and are not reactive in meetings

As you can see with these examples, emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware and in control of our emotions and manage them to adapt to our environment, succeed in our relationships with others, and fully appreciate ourselves. As with any other capacity, it can be broken down into a set of skills and behaviors that can be learned and developed.

The 4 Elements of Emotional Intelligence

How to embrace your intelligence

  1. Self-Awareness: This is the ability to identify and understand your feelings, motives, and desires, and to recognize the impact you have on others and your surroundings. A self-aware individual has mastered introspection and knows themselves so well they can leverage their strengths and improve on their weaknesses with patience, forgiveness, and self-love. Self-awareness is the base of the emotional intelligence pyramid and it begins by getting to know yourself better.
  2. Self-Regulation or Self-Control: Once you are self-aware, then you can self-regulate. As you get to know yourself deeply and begin to understand and embrace your temper and personality, you will be able to foresee and control your disruptive impulses and behaviors. Self-regulation takes lots of practice, but if you have mastered self-awareness you will have the strength and resiliency to forgive yourself and keep trying. A self-regulating individual is adaptable, trustworthy, balanced, and in control.
  3. Social Awareness: This is the ability to identify and understand other people´s emotions. It looks a lot like empathy that results in kindness. A socially aware individual is able to put themselves in other people´s shoes and work with them towards their goals—whether it´s giving them tough advice or listening to their problems in an understanding way.
  4. Social Skills or Relationship Management: This fourth element is at the top of the emotional intelligence pyramid. Social skills are what everyone wants in a leader, but you can´t be an outstanding leader without first having self-awareness, self-regulation, and social awareness. Some of the social skills you’ll be able to organically practice after developing the other three elements of emotional intelligence are conflict management, teamwork, and the ability to motivate and inspire others.

Ready to start on your journey towards emotional intelligence and become a better team player, entrepreneur, or boss at work? Here are a few questions you can ask yourself every day to raise your awareness and foster your emotional intelligence.

4 Questions to Boost Your EQ at Work

  1. How does my current mood affect my thoughts and behaviors? (Self-Awareness)
  2. What unhelpful emotion or limiting belief can I let go of? (Self-Control)
  3. What language are my colleagues using at work? (Social Awareness)
  4. Can I empathize without agreeing? (Relationship Management)

Learn How to Increase Your EQ

Another great way to increase your emotional intelligence and leadership skills is to practice mindfulness. It promotes emotional regulation and mitigates impulsivity by introducing a necessary space of observation and acceptance between the stimuli (what happens to us) and our response. And mindfulness is not only self-reflective; you can be mindful of others as well, which will increase your compassion and ability to understand those around you.

Use your IQ to increase your EQ through study and practice. As a leadership and executive coach, I work with clients on their emotional intelligence every day. Following the approach used by Chade-Meng Tan, author of Search inside Yourself, I focus on mindfulness as the base for emotional intelligence. We must see ourselves objectively and perceive our emotions with a higher level of clarity and resolution to become the best version of ourselves, in life and at work. My clients already have the expertise and the intelligence to complete their jobs, but improving their mindfulness and social awareness maximizes their personal and professional potential.

Do you feel stuck or anxious about the future? Do you feel it’s time to take a leap to keep growing in your career or business? No matter your situation, this free guide will walk you through my coaching process to get you moving and making progress. Get your copy now!

Written by: Loris Vitry (holistic coach)
Validated by: Cathy Maillot (Osteopath)

Caution: If you have any medical questions or concerns, please speak to your doctor. Even if the articles on this site are based on scientific studies, they do not replace professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

How to embrace your intelligence

  • 1 Encourage your curiosity
  • 2 Read a lot
  • 3 Take free online courses
  • 4 Do things the hard way and avoid letting technology handle everything
  • 5 Watch instructional videos
  • 6 Play smart games
  • 7 Download a brain training app
  • 8 Surround yourself with smart people
  • 9 Eat healthy and exercise

Feeling less intelligent can sometimes be stressful and irritable.

Although the Intellectual Quotient (IQ) varies from person to person, there is much room for improvement in their intellectual capacities.

To do this, it is enough to cultivate certain good practices.

So, do you want to know how to be smarter?

Check out this article for tips that can help you.

Encourage your curiosity

To become smarter, you have to be more curious.

To do this, get in the habit of questioning how things work.

Arousing your curiosity is not simply asking the question “Why”, you will of course receive the common answer “Because it is so”.

Rather, it is about seeking to know more, about obtaining other knowledge.

So try to have a much more impressive background in general culture.

Try to feed your brain with knowledge and interesting information for your well-being and to make it better.

Remember that he must be able to use his neural connections and develop to be more efficient and productive.

Read a lot

As for reading, it also remains one of the pillars on which you must base yourself.

Not only will it increase your vocabulary, but it will also help you develop your imagination.

Indeed, reading increases your linguistic, intrapersonal and emotional intelligence.

To be smarter, therefore, make friends with the reading.

Know that the more you read, the better your mental library will be provided.

This knowledge acquired through reading will certainly help you learn much more and more quickly.

To do this, get in the habit of reading books or novels as well as newspapers, whatever comes in handy.

For example, you can use the Internet for this purpose.

Instead of spending your days chatting, read a story or article on a topic that is new to you.

Take free online courses

Online courses can also help you increase your intelligence.

Today, there is a whole host of such free courses available to you on the Internet.

So you can take these courses on a specific topic.

Many sites offer free courses which are additionally presented with documents and sometimes course videos.

All you have to do is search the Internet for these free courses to find an interesting topic and gain new knowledge.

You might not know it, but be aware that some of these courses are sometimes considered in the points calculation for a degree at an accredited university.

In addition, you have the option of obtaining at the end of the course, certificates of course attendance or taking exams to return what you have learned.

Do things the hard way and avoid letting technology handle everything

You might be surprised, but know that doing things the hardest way can help.

When you do a routine activity, but in a different way, you force your brain to set up different neural channels to achieve the same result.

By doing this, you maintain your brain, prevent its oxidation and promote the creation of new neural connections.

Likewise, avoid excessively substituting your own intelligence for secondary or artificial intelligence.

With technology, life seems to be easier, but it doesn’t have to take the place of your own intelligence.

To be smarter, you must avoid leaving your intellectual activity in the hands of technology.

GPS, search engines, translators, calculators can be used, but not to the point of making you intellectually lazy.

Watch instructional videos

Instead of watching TV, focus on instructional videos.

You will get the most out of watching videos about a topic you are passionate about.

For example, opt for TED videos which are offered on various themes.

It is indeed a non-profit association that works for the dissemination of knowledge and ideas.

On this platform, conferences are organized calling on experts who make presentations on various subjects.

For constant access to these videos, go to and enjoy the plethora of videos that can educate you.

Each of the presentations lasts between ten and fifteen minutes.

Play smart games

There are also some educational games that can help you increase your intelligence.

For example, you can do crossword puzzles to improve your memory.

These games will indeed stimulate your word memory and strengthen your verbal skills.

You can find them in newspapers or on the Internet by downloading a crossword app.

You can also play scrabble to optimize your vocabulary, chess to challenge yourself or Rubik’s cube to optimize your concentration.

In addition, these games will reduce your stress and ensure a good mood.

Download a brain training app

In addition to the educational games, there are also several brain training apps that you can download.

These offer games and challenges to improve your problem-solving skills, your cognitive functioning and your memory.

These apps will help you exercise your mind and keep it active.

They will improve your brain’s data processing speed.

Surround yourself with smart people

Surrounding yourself with smart people will help you become smarter as well.

By discussing for example with such people, you will be compelled to think and reason more intelligently with mental effort.

In addition, it will allow you to learn new things every day.

It is therefore best to stay away from unintelligent people, as you risk oxidizing your brain.

Eat healthy and exercise

Eating a healthy diet and playing sports will also help.

To do this, avoid too rich meals that can make you soggy, as well as alcohol.

Use as much energy as possible while exercising, because the more blood circulates in your brain, the better it will perform.

You can also go for yoga to maintain your brain and your mind.

By practicing it regularly, you optimize your reasoning and problem-solving skills.

Yoga is also a great way to get rid of anxiety, stress, nervousness, and negative tension.

In short, feeling less intelligent shouldn’t be considered inevitable.

There are various methods with which you can increase your intelligence.

So try to combine those offered to you to become smarter.

There are many kinds of intelligences out there: Emotional Intelligence, Business Intelligence, Creative Intelligence, you name it. And don’t forget my former employer, the Secret Intelligence Service. IQ, EQ, BI & KPI – Intelligence is being measured and analyzed. And when it comes to business the analysis and indicators are worth it: Any strategic planning process and intelligent business decision relies on facts and numbers.

Know your KPI!

Say that again? You don’t even know what KPI means? Never heard of Business Intelligence? I’m guessing you must be one of the creative people out there, preferring form and design to numbers. Not to worry: You are not alone. A very big number of iPros, as we are sometimes called, is professionally creative. But even a creative one-woman-business is a business and as such relies on numbers and data analysis. But again, no worries: We have made it very easy for you. Just take your seat behind the zistemo Dashboard and you’ll see: Playing with numbers is fun!

Business Intelligence 101

What is Business Intelligence also known as BI? The term has been coined by Hans Peter Luhn, a German IT pioneer, nearly 70 years ago when he published an article in the IBM journal called „A Business Intelligence System“. The concept of Business Intelligence goes together with the invention of computers. All the data a computer processes and generates enable a new kind of understanding of business performance – that’s the keynote of BI. Integrated data analysis and data visualization create a new strategic planning process based on an intelligent system.

Key Performance Indicators (KPI)

The key to measure business performance are the KPI or Key Performance Indicators: Numbers that give critical information about the development of projects and processes. Thanks to clever interconnections these numbers allow you to actually see how your business performs. Take for example the revenue: A basic KPI for most businesses. A simple enough number, specifying the income of a business. But as we all know, revenues are not that simple. Thanks to Business Intelligence we can match revenue to clients. Or billed hours. Or team members. Per day, per week or per month. The possibilities are endless. Feel free to fool around with them in your zistemo Dashboard. Have fun – and enjoy the simplicity of our data visualization.

Visual Data Analysis

As the saying goes, a picture is more than a thousand words. This is true for numbers, too: One picture tells you more than a thousand numbers. That’s why we have created many different possibilities to visualize your data. Flexible diagrams in many forms and colors: You choose the chart that fits your needs. And if you’re not sure which one that is, ask yourself the following questions: What do I want to show? Do I want to compare data, show a distribution or understand relationships and processes? A quick look at the very handy Chart Chooser might help you with your decision (in form of a flow chart, by the way, the best way to vizualize a decision process).

Reports from the Data Warehouse

In fact, zistemo is your personal Data Warehouse – strictly confidential and using only your own data, of course. And a very secure warehouse, it is: My former boss and his secret intelligence would be proud of it. The zistemo Dashboard shows all relevant data on one screen, in any date range: Even the creative business-illiterates can get a whole lot of information out of that. You can see how well a project performs and compare it to similar projects or match it to clients. Does the same process tend to take longer with client A than with client B? Maybe it’s time to have a closer look. Maybe even invite client A to a nice lunch, talk things over and solve problems from their source. Are projects more profitable when team member X is in charge? Maybe it’s time for a promotion.

Smart strategic planning process

Whatever it is: streamline your strategic planning process with Business Intelligence. It has never been as easy – and intelligent. Whatever that really means. As much as intelligence is being measured, there is no real definition of the word yet. To my eyes, intelligence means to be able to integrate data and facts quickly and creatively. That’s why my virtual zistemo is a very intelligent woman, trustworthy of your business. But keep in mind: zistemo is only as creative as you are. We have created a flexible tool for Business Intelligence and data analysis – now it is up to you to make to most out of it, to match and create new connections and interpretations.

This is actually good news for all of you users from the creative community out there: You creatives are used to think outside the box, where no-one has dared to think before them. That’s your job.

With this in mind: Keep up the good work – and embrace your intelligence!

A world of exciting social, cultural
and intellectual opportunities

Welcome to Mensa, the High IQ Society

Mensa has members of all ages in almost 100 countries around the world. The society provides its members with diverse and exciting opportunities for social, cultural, and intellectual interaction.

The lively exchange of ideas through lectures, journals, and special-interest groups;

Stimulating discussions and debates at local, regional, national and international gatherings;

Thought-provoking surveys and investigations of members’ opinions and attitudes;

Valuable assistance to researchers, inside and outside Mensa, in projects dealing with intelligence and Mensa.

What is Mensa?

Discover Intelligence

Join Us

Mensa IQ Challenge

What our members say about us

I was looking for a community, new friends and an environment where I can speak faster. And, yes, I found it.

I enjoy encountering many different opinions within Mensa. In most cases, we manage to exchange opinions and discuss even sensitive topics without major fights… My horizon definitely became broader and I have been enriched with lots of new information. And yes, the daily dose of humour is addictive! Thank you all for adding colour to my days (and to grey matter as well)!

Originally, I just wanted to have my IQ tested. I guess I was looking for some external reinforcement. I thought I would never have the time to attend the programmes as I had two young children. Out of curiosity, I finally joined Mensa – and I have been a member for 14 years now. I found a great community, interesting activities, lots of love – and, eventually, a husband as well!

I have always been a misfit. I took the test to see if I really do differ from the average. And then, during the first meeting with fellow Mensans, I had this sense of homecoming: as if arriving from another galaxy to a place where I belong. I met plenty of valuable people: many of them I consider friends and there are lots of them I look up to.

I joined the “club” out of curiosity. What I found was a huge playground beyond imagination!

What has Mensa given me? Friends, a community, a big family, numerous fantastic programs and activities. Also, I discovered the security of receiving help for any problem I might have. Now I have friends and acquaintances across the entire country.

The world was a hostile territory. In order to preserve my human relationships, I had to wear a mask of courtesy. Still, under this mask, I was alone. Alone and lonely. I wanted to get rid of this mask; I was looking for an environment where people can understand me. And at the end, the people I found in Mensa tamed me: they made me a better person. I entered the community like a strange, wild animal – and some members just reached out for me and took me in. I am grateful.

It is an honour to be a member of Mensa. From the very first moment, my eyes have been sparkling: finally, I arrived in a place where people share similar thoughts, say similar puns, have similar associations like I have. Naturally, I also see the differences: different characters, attitudes and views – some of these I embrace, others I reject, but this makes the world complete. We cannot be different in the same way.