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How to get a date

How to get a date

A new year is here but, like many of the things stressing us out, the demoralizing process that we refer to as modern dating (in a pandemic, no less) is much the same. But on a hopeful note, January is scientifically the best time of year to be online dating. When I was a single lady on the apps (which was basically all of my 20s), I would make lists of dating “resolutions” each year that ranged from “Go on two dates per week” to “Delete Tinder” and “Stop dating emotionally unavailable fuccbois.” None of these was scientifically informed, but the idea was to date better or rather, smarter, so I would waste less of my time.

It’s natural to want to create healthier, smarter habits at the beginning of the year (the “fresh-start effect” is a real thing). But as with any resolution that affects your well-being, you want to be sure you’re setting goals that are backed by science. So we turned to Logan Ury, a dating coach and Hinge’s director of relationship science, whose forthcoming book, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love, addresses how to set yourself up for dating success. According to a recent Hinge study, two out of three users are optimistic about dating in 2021 and feel confident that it’ll be better than 2020. Here’s hoping.

Since you’re definitely not going to be meeting anyone in a crowded bar any time soon, read on for a few of her scientifically informed strategies—or rather, your new resolutions—for dating effectively online in 2021.

1. Find your blind spots.

Whether it’s your first time or 100th dip into the dating pool, taking a moment to give yourself an honest self-evaluation is a healthy first step. From there, you can then begin to identify certain behaviors that might be preventing you from finding the connection you’re looking for.

“If you’ve been single for a while and you feel like there are certain patterns that are holding you back, I would really encourage people to be intentional,” says Ury. “Take a step back and say, ‘Why am I single? What are my patterns?’ Someone’s pattern might be ‘I’m too picky. I rarely accept incoming matches, and when I go out with them, I rarely go on a second date.’ Another one might be ‘I’m not picky enough. I don’t spend enough time thinking about who I want to invest my time in. I often end up with people who aren't interested in a relationship.’ This is a great time to take that step back and do that self-reflection.”

Admittedly, it can be tricky to know your own dating blind spots, so Ury suggests reaching out to a friend or someone you trust for their opinion. “Say, ‘I want you to be honest with me: What do you think are some of my bad habits that are holding me back?’” says Ury. “Once you've actually identified those things, then you can make a real commitment to yourself, to your friend, whoever your accountability partner is and say, ‘I'm going to work on being more open-minded this year,’ or, ‘I’m going to work on being more present during my dates.’ Maybe that means going on fewer of them!”

2. Be specific about what you’re looking for.

Details matter—they help spark conversation and allow potential matches to get a better sense of who you are.

For example, if you asked someone what they enjoy doing on the weekends and they replied “watching TV,” it’s an automatic invitation to be disinterested. However, if they responded with “I make a bomb bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on Sundays and then binge-watch The Office,” that’s something you can work with. Give your matches something to work with.

If the dating app you’re using provides prompts, Ury recommends taking the time to answer those questions in a thoughtful way. “With prompt responses, people love humor, but you can’t be all silly or all serious,” says Ury. “People are really looking for that combination of vulnerability and humor. So when you’re choosing the prompts that you respond to or choosing your responses, you should think about showing a few different sides of your personality to give people a sense of who you really are.”

3. Focus on quality control.

Furiously swiping for four hours straight or sending over 100 “Hey there!” messages aren't going to increase your odds of finding your mate. It’s only setting you up for dating fatigue. And especially in a year when we are still navigating safe, socially distant dates, you don’t want to overload yourself.

To those who may claim that dating is “just a numbers game,” Ury says yes and no. Sure, you probably do need to meet a certain amount of people before you find someone you click with, but the key component is really thoughtfulness. “If you show up but you don’t put thoughtfulness into the profile, you aren’t being intentional with who you’re matching,” says Ury.

In other words, having a workhorse mentality won’t necessarily yield the results you want just as sending out 500 generic résumés won’t guarantee you a job offer. “You’re much better off crafting a résumé to a few jobs that you’re a really good fit for and investing there,” Ury says. This mindset should be applied to your dating life, whether it’s curating a well-rounded profile or writing a playful message that might compel a match to want to engage. It may take more time, but the extra effort will increase your odds in the long run.

4. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there IRL.

We live in a digital world, yet there are still opportunities where it’s possible to meet people organically and IRL—safely, of course.

Group gatherings like birthday parties and book signings may be off the table, but you can always strike up a (masked) conversation if you’re at the dog park with your pup or even from a safe six feet away while you’re waiting in line to get coffee. “I think one thing about the pandemic that's a silver lining is that we are all going through a shared experience,” says Ury. And while you don’t have to center your conversation around it, Ury says that it’s certainly an appropriate and easy opening line to simply ask, “How has your experience been?” or “What are you doing to stay safe these days?”

“Realizing that we actually are all going through something challenging at the same time is a way to connect and find that moment of connection a little faster,” she says.

Taylor Trudon is a writer based in Brooklyn. Find her on Twitter @taylortrudon.

How long should your bio be? How many selfies is too many selfies? What’s the best opener?

How to get a date

If you’re wondering why a Bradley Cooper lookalike hasn’t appeared out of the depths of your iPhone and swiped right on your selfie, Tinder’s Vice President of Branding and Communications, Rosette Pambakian, might have the answer.

Is it because you’re wearing grey in your profile picture? Is your bio too long? Have you connected to your Instagram? Here’s her advice on how to actually bag a date on Tinder.

1. Opening lines should feel natural

“There is no magic opening line that works best, but the most successful way for a Tinder match to get my attention is by pointing out something in my profile that sparked their interest – whether it’s my job, where I went to school, or my (adorable) dog Bijou.

“Plus, you can use the GIF function, that’s a really fun way to show your personality and sense of humour. Just remember that there’s mutual interest [because you’ve matched with each other]. This skips the awkward step of trying to figure out if someone has an initial level of interest in you, so just relax and be yourself.

How to get a date

2. Don’t skip the bio

“Never skip the bio section! It’s your opportunity to tell your potential matches more about yourself – your hobbies, your interests, what you’re looking for. We surveyed some female Tinder users who date men recently, and discovered that they’re 98% less likely to “swipe right” on someone if they don’t have anything in their bio. But don’t go overboard. We have a 500-character limit for a reason – no one wants to read a novel when swiping on profiles.”

3. It is actually worth connecting your Instagram

“The photos we take tell a totally unique story about us and it’s the way people communicate today – Instagram is a great way to learn more about someone AND it’s a great conversation starter. Connecting Instagram also automatically keeps your profile fresh and up-to-date without you having to do it manually.”

How to get a date

4. Sunday evenings are your best swiping time

“We’ve found most users are most active on Sunday evenings. But I personally just make it work for me and use it whenever I get some downtime at the office or with friends – and especially when I’m travelling.”

5. Don’t be too hasty giving out your number

“I’ve heard of couples who fell in “love at first swipe” with the first person they matched with on Tinder and exchanged numbers right away, but I think it’s worth chatting within the app until you’re sure you are interested in meeting them.

“Be sure you’re interested in meeting them”

“You’re able to unmatch with the other person on the app if you decide you’re no longer interested, which is a lot easier than telling them to lose your number!”

6. Make sure there’s a talking point in your pictures

“Be genuine. Your pictures should give others a sense of your personality, hobbies and interests. If you like to go skiing or hiking, show it. If you’re kind of a goofball, show it. We all deserve to be liked for who we really are.”

7. Don’t let small talk put you off

“If things are drying up, it’s always worth sending a funny GIF or making the most of message liking, which I love – now if you don’t want to engage in small talk but you don’t necessarily want to end the conversation, you can like (click the green heart next to the message) the last message your match sent you.”

8. Super Likes ACTUALLY increase your chance of a match

“Your chances of getting a match are 3x higher with a Super Like, and conversations that start with a Super Like last 70% longer. I’m really flattered when I receive one knowing that someone sent their one daily Super Like to me, and others will be the same.”

9. Avoid neutral colours in your photos

“We recently conducted a study that showed that the majority of Tinder users wear neutral colours (black, white, navy, grey, etc.) – so if you really want to stand out, show a pop of colour in your outfit.”

“If you want to stand out, wear colour”

10. More pictures = more matches. Fact.

“Having more profile photos and making good use of the bio section increases your chances of getting more matches exponentially. Adding your job and education to your profile works amazingly well also.

“Since we updated so you can upload profile photos directly from your phone’s camera roll, it’s easier than ever to revamp your Tinder profile. You’re no longer limited to the photos you have on Facebook. “

11. Don’t be restricted to the UK.

“You can swipe anyone, anywhere in the world with Passport – I know someone in every major city now and have made some great friends and connections around the globe. It can really change the way you travel and help you to meet amazing people along the way – because you can browse profiles without actually being in that location.”

These methods can be used for getting information from a date object:

Method Description
getFullYear() Get the year as a four digit number (yyyy)
getMonth() Get the month as a number (0-11)
getDate() Get the day as a number (1-31)
getHours() Get the hour (0-23)
getMinutes() Get the minute (0-59)
getSeconds() Get the second (0-59)
getMilliseconds() Get the millisecond (0-999)
getTime() Get the time (milliseconds since January 1, 1970)
getDay() Get the weekday as a number (0-6)
Date.now() Get the time. ECMAScript 5.

The getTime() Method

The getTime() method returns the number of milliseconds since January 1, 1970:

Example

The getFullYear() Method

The getFullYear() method returns the year of a date as a four digit number:

Example

The getMonth() Method

The getMonth() method returns the month of a date as a number (0-11):

Example

In JavaScript, the first month (January) is month number 0, so December returns month number 11.

You can use an array of names, and getMonth() to return the month as a name:

Example

const d = new Date();
let month = months[d.getMonth()];

The getDate() Method

The getDate() method returns the day of a date as a number (1-31):

Example

The getHours() Method

The getHours() method returns the hours of a date as a number (0-23):

Example

The getMinutes() Method

The getMinutes() method returns the minutes of a date as a number (0-59):

Example

The getSeconds() Method

The getSeconds() method returns the seconds of a date as a number (0-59):

Example

The getMilliseconds() Method

The getMilliseconds() method returns the milliseconds of a date as a number (0-999):

Example

The getDay() Method

The getDay() method returns the weekday of a date as a number (0-6):

Example

In JavaScript, the first day of the week (0) means "Sunday", even if some countries in the world consider the first day of the week to be "Monday"

You can use an array of names, and getDay() to return the weekday as a name:

Example

const d = new Date();
let day = days[d.getDay()];

UTC Date Methods

UTC date methods are used for working with UTC dates (Universal Time Zone dates):

Method Description
getUTCDate() Same as getDate(), but returns the UTC date
getUTCDay() Same as getDay(), but returns the UTC day
getUTCFullYear() Same as getFullYear(), but returns the UTC year
getUTCHours() Same as getHours(), but returns the UTC hour
getUTCMilliseconds() Same as getMilliseconds(), but returns the UTC milliseconds
getUTCMinutes() Same as getMinutes(), but returns the UTC minutes
getUTCMonth() Same as getMonth(), but returns the UTC month
getUTCSeconds() Same as getSeconds(), but returns the UTC seconds

Complete JavaScript Date Reference

For a complete Date reference, go to our:

The reference contains descriptions and examples of all Date properties and methods.

How to get a date

In a world where many singles are digital natives, it’s becoming increasingly easy to swipe for a date, rather than look up from our devices and notice all of the dateable people physically surrounding us every day.

In a world where many singles are digital natives, it’s becoming increasingly easy to swipe for a date, rather than look up from our devices and notice all of the dateable people physically surrounding us every day. Sure, the perfect Tinder pick-up line may not be too hard to master (for most people), but what about interacting with someone the old-fashioned way?

With 38 percent of American singles now online dating, it’s time for a refresher on how to spark with someone IRL. For this, we consulted eight professional matchmakers to find out their best tips for meeting someone offline. While you can keep your online dating profile, in the name of efficiency, it only seems fair to put a little effort into your love life during the many hours you’re (hopefully) not looking at a screen.

Here’s what the matchmakers had to say:

1. Expand your social circle.

“First, you have to put yourself in places and situations that make it possible [to meet someone]. Finding events and activities that you enjoy will help you meet new people outside of your circle. Expanding your circle is the best way to meet a partner — you never know who can introduce you to your match. While you are out and about, have the intention that you are open. Smile, make eye contact and be willing to say hi to people you are attracted to. ” –Rachel DeAlto, Dating & Relationship Coach

2. Take on hobbies that get you interacting with people.

“The person you’re meant to be with is someone who shares your lifestyle. They have the same taste in how they spend their time and the same taste in how they spend their money. In other words, go out and do stuff you actually like. Make time for your hobbies and interests, but make sure to invest in the interests that get you interacting with people instead of solo-activities, like knitting, reading or swimming. If you attended two events a week, like networking parties, BBQs or happy hours, you’d most likely be in a relationship in three months. Challenge yourself to invest in your social calendar.” –Maria Avgitidis, Founder and Head Matchmaker and Dating Coach, Agape Match

3. Don’t just look at your phone when you’re walking around — look up and notice people.

“First and foremost, make sure you exude confidence, and make sure you are emotionally available and realistic with your expectations. Be open-minded and smile — your smile is your calling card. Put your phone away. Look up when you are out walking in the street or at the bank or Starbucks. Wherever you are, you never know where he or she might be. If you are busy texting or on your phone, you won’t get to meet someone.” – Janis Spindel, President and Founder, Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking

4. Be friendly.

“Smile and say hello — friendly people are approachable people. A smile lets off positive energy and is inviting. When you spark a conversation with someone, it opens the door to a possible new relationship. I know that might sound too simple, but people make meeting people too complicated. It always begins with a simple introduction.” – Amanda Rose , Founder and CEO, Dating Boutique

5. Be open to set-ups.

“People have to train themselves to think that the Internet is a mirage of endless opportunities to impress a nebulous person — or at least the best version of that person. Be open to set-ups from those who truly know you. Force yourself to have genuine human interactions. Attend social events from your undergraduate or graduate schools. Be physically active; try new things or fitness concepts. The key here is to actually go out and meet him or her instead of hiding behind technology or being drawn into an infinite world of pretend opportunity.” – Brooke Wise , Founder, Wise Matchmaking

6. Exude confidence.

“My best tip for meeting and sparking with someone in the real world is to sparkle. It might sound completely corny, but everyone wants to be around someone who has this aura around them that shines and radiates happiness and confidence. It’s attractive, it’s sexy, it’s desirable. When you encounter that type of person, you naturally gravitate toward them because they’re positive and seem to know something you might not know — the secret to living a carefree, genuinely happy life.” – Amy Andersen , Founder and CEO, Linx Dating

7. When you notice someone you like, get in close physical proximity.

“First, put down the technology — your cell phone, iPad and earphones — since all of these things create a barrier to meeting someone. Men tell me all the time that they won’t approach a woman on her phone, as they think that she’s busy and doesn’t want to be bothered. Second, open your eyes and notice people around you. When you notice someone you’re interested in, get in close physical proximity to him or her. And third, to take the pressure off of getting rejected, just ask a question. All you want to do is open the door to a conversation to see if you even want to get to know him or her further.” –Suzanne Oshima, Dating Coach, Dream Bachelor & Bachelorette

8. Don’t go into a date thinking about your other options.

“Don’t go into a date thinking that there are hundreds of more men or women to choose from where he or she came from, pursuing some fantasy of your ideal perfect person. By thinking this way, you don’t give yourself or your date the chance for a normal in-person interaction. We’ve been programmed by our iPhones to click next, next, next — we’re becoming less human and more like computers. Often, someone that doesn’t fill all of your checkboxes on paper can turn out to be ‘the one.'” –Fay Goldman, Matchmaker, Meaningful Connections

How to get a date

You’ve made a match and think you’re ready to move things offline, but how do you make a smooth transition? Fostering a budding relationship is a two-way street. Both parties need to feel safe, confident, and enthusiastic about where you’re going. While there’s no algorithm to guarantee a date IRL, we do have a few recommendations to help make it a little easier.

Start small

Instead of going bold and asking for a date outright, start small by chatting back and forth for a few days — or weeks! — is a low-key way to get a little more personal without getting too intimate, too soon. If your match would rather keep it on Bumble for the time being rather than giving you their phone number, respect their decision and keep getting to know them before initiating anything further off the app.

Move past casual banter

Begin building trust by having conversations that require a bit more openness. This isn’t to say you should overshare, but by bringing up topics that speak to your values (think: family, etc.), your match will get to know you on a deeper level. If he or she follows suit, this may be a sign that your match is getting comfortable with you.

Make each other real

Another surefire way to create a sense of safety is to ask your match if they’d like to talk on the phone or FaceTime before meeting in the wild. You’ll be amazed how much more approachable someone seems after hearing their voice or seeing their facial expressions. Another added benefit? Both of you are likely to feel a lot less anxious when you physically meet for the first time.

Provide options

Once you’re confident that your match shares your romantic interest, it’s time to take the plunge! Suggest a few first dates that are tailored to your match’s interests. Then have them make the final call on where you go and when. You’ll show your thoughtfulness and can rest assured you’re meeting up for a date that your match is going to enjoy.

Above all, remember that some people like to move slower than others, and never pressure someone to do something they’re not ready for. Now get out there and make a move!

The getTimezoneOffset() method returns the difference, in minutes, between a date as evaluated in the UTC time zone, and the same date as evaluated in the local time zone.

Try it

Syntax

Return value

The difference, in minutes, between date, as evaluated in the UTC time zone, and as evaluated in the local time zone.

Description

date.getTimezoneOffset() returns the difference, in minutes, between date as evaluated in the UTC time zone, and date as evaluated in the local time zone — that is, the time zone of the host system in which the browser is being used (if the code is run from the Web in a browser), or otherwise the host system of whatever JavaScript runtime (for example, a Node.js environment) the code is executed in.

Negative values and positive values

The number of minutes returned by getTimezoneOffset() is positive if the local time zone is behind UTC, and negative if the local time zone is ahead of UTC. For example, for UTC+10, -600 will be returned.

Current time zone UTC-8 UTC UTC+3
Return Value 480 0 -180

Varied results in Daylight Saving Time (DST) time zones

In a time zone that annually shifts in and out of Daylight Saving Time (DST), the number of minutes returned by calling getTimezoneOffset() can vary.

Consider a given local time zone and a date date1 that are both in DST, and consider minutes, the number of minutes returned by calling date1.getTimezoneOffset() ; then:

  • If the local time zone is currently in DST, but a given date date2 is not in DST, then the number of minutes returned by date2.getTimezoneOffset() is minutes ± 60.
  • If the local time zone is not currently in DST, but a given date date3 is in DST, then the number of minutes returned by date3.getTimezoneOffset() is minutes ± 60.

In a time zone that doesn’t annually shift in and out of Daylight Saving Time (DST), the number of minutes returned by calling getTimezoneOffset() always returns the same number of minutes, regardless of the date instance it’s called from.

Note: The above description is a simplification. In implementations, the IANA time zone database (tzdata) is used for precisely determining the effect of DST on the calculation of the time-zone difference.

If you have some solid experience in the Java ecosystem (4+ years), and you’re interested in sharing that experience with the community, we’ve just opened up a new position on the editorial team.

Get started with Spring 5 and Spring Boot 2, through the Learn Spring course:

> CHECK OUT THE COURSE

1. Introduction

This quick article describes how we may get the current date, current time and current time stamp in Java 8.

2. Current Date

First, let’s use java.time.LocalDate to get the current system date:

To get the date in any other timezone we can use LocalDate.now(ZoneId):

We can also use java.time.LocalDateTime to get an instance of LocalDate:

3. Current Time

With java.time.LocalTime, let’s retrieve the current system time:

To get the current time in a specific time zone, we can use LocalTime.now(ZoneId):

We can also use java.time.LocalDateTime to get an instance of LocalTime:

4. Current Timestamp

Use java.time.Instant to get a time stamp from the Java epoch. According to the JavaDoc, “epoch-seconds are measured from the standard Java epoch of 1970-01-01T00:00:00Z, where instants after the epoch have positive values:

We may obtain the number of epoch-seconds seconds:

5. Conclusion

In this tutorial we’ve focused using java.time.* to get the current date, time and time stamp.

As always, the code for the article is available over on GitHub.

If you have some solid experience in the Java ecosystem (4+ years), and you’re interested in sharing that experience with the community, we’ve just opened up a new position on the editorial team.

You would like to display yesterday’s date (without time) in a PostgreSQL database.

Solution 1:

Assuming today is 2020-09-24, the result is:

yesterday_date
2020-09-23

Discussion:

To get yesterday’s date, you need to subtract one day from today’s date. Use current_date to get today’s date. Note that you don’t need brackets at the end of the current_date function. In PostgreSQL, you can subtract or add any number of days using the INTEGER keyword. Here, since you need to subtract one day, you use – INTEGER ‘1’ to get yesterday’s date. Note that the result of this calculation still has the column type date .

Solution 2:

Assuming today is 2020-09-24, the result is:

yesterday_date
2020-09-23

Discussion:

Get today’s date using current_date . You need to subtract an interval of one day from the current date. To do this, use the INTERVAL keyword, which creates any time/date interval you want (here, ‘1 day’ , which in PostgreSQL is the same as 24 hours). Subtracting INTERVAL ‘1 day’ from today’s date will result in a column formatted as a timestamp, so you need to cast it to date . The quickest way to do so in PostgreSQL is appending ::date to the whole expression (remember to enclose the expression in parentheses).

Of course, you can go back by any time interval just as easily. Here’s an example:

An INTERVAL can also be added to a date. So, here’s a way if you want to get tomorrow’s date:

Going to the prom is a major social milestone in the lives of many girls. While some girls may choose to attend prom without a date, getting a prom date may require that you step out of your comfort zone by interacting with guys at school, looking to your social supports and friends for help and taking initiative by asking a guy if he has a date to the prom.

Explore this article

1 Examine Your Possibilities

Before embarking on a quest to find a prom date, you should first examine your options for prom dates. Immediately eliminate any guys who are dating someone, or who you know are taking other girls. Once you have eliminated any guys with dates, make a list of eligible boys that may not have dates to prom that you would be happy bringing along as your date.

2 Get a Little Help From Your Friends

Talk to your friends about your desire to go to prom with someone. Your friends can be a vital resource in finding a prom date. If you don’t talk to many guys, your friends might know who is asking whom to prom and also know who does not have a date. They may even have a single friend who needs a date as well that they can set you up with. Even if they don’t know of anyone looking for a date, they may be willing to break the ice and ask around for you.

3 Overcoming Shyness

Shyness can quickly overwhelm you and jeopardize your attempts to get a prom date. Shyness at its core is very similar to anxiety according to psychologist Bill Knaus. In his article in “Psychology Today,” Knaus explains that you can overcome the feelings associated with shyness toward boys by watching your friends ask a guy to prom, then visualizing yourself in her place. Knaus also reminds readers that only you are in control of your feelings, so you can set yourself up for a positive outcome by thinking positively and approaching the situation in a confident manner.

4 Being Attractive, Inside and Out

Jeremy Nicholson, psychologist suggests that being attractive, both physically and psychologically, can improve your odds at social finding a date. Nicholson suggests in “The Attraction Doctor,” that being open-minded, optimistic and sharing fun qualities about yourself can make you seem more psychologically attractive. Nicholson also suggests looking your best, clarifying that you don’t need to be a supermodel, but being clean, well-groomed and wearing flattering clothing that fits can be assets to finding a date.

5 Go Ahead and Ask

Taking initiative can be nerve-wracking, but you stand the best chance of getting a prom date by outright asking someone, even if you don’t know him that well. Hald and Hogh-Olesen examined this situation in a study published in “Evolution & Human Behavior” by having a moderately attractive person approach 173 men and ask them on a date. About 68 percent of single men agreed to a date from this total stranger. If this applies to real life, about seven out of every 10 single guys that you ask to prom will likely accept if you take initiative and ask them.

references

  • 1 PsycCentral: All About Shyness
  • 2 Psychology Today: Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxieties
  • 3 Evolution & Human Behavior: Receptivity to Sexual Invitations from Strangers of the Opposite Gender
  • 4 The Attraction Doctor: Overcoming Social Anxiety, Approach Anxiety, and Shyness
  • 5 The Attraction Doctor: Basic Rules for Successful Dating

About the Author

Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.