How to get a girl

So, there’s this girl. They are special, and you’ve finally found the courage to ask them out. What if they say no? Scarier still: What if they say yes?

There is no secret or trick to successful dating. But there are things you can do to make it easier — for both of you.

All in the Approach

This goes beyond the (hopefully) obvious steps of bathing and using deodorant, which are important. You should also be respectful in how you approach them.

When you ask them out, see what they are up for. Mention an activity, like going to a movie or a basketball game, and then ask them what they think about the idea. “That way you’re letting her know how you feel and also considering her,” says Geraldine K. Piorkowski, PhD.

If they don’t like your suggestion, throw out a different one. But if they give you a hard no, take the hint. “Know when to back off,” Piorkowski says. “Most young women do not feel good about being pushed.”

It’s About |Them

It’s About |Them

During the date, focus on them, not yourself. This starts at the front door. “I think we’re past the days when a strong female would be offended if you opened the door for her,” says California State University of Sacramento psychologist Nancy Kalish, PhD. “Use basic manners: If it’s cold out, give her your jacket.”

If you’re feeling nervous, don’t sweat it. “She’s as scared as you,” Kalish says. So do what you can to put them at ease. Look them in the eye. Smile.

Remember, dating is all about talking. Talk to them. And more importantly, talk about them. If you’re chatty by nature, be sure to give them a chance to speak.

If you’re not a talker, think up a list of possible topics — TV shows, music, school — before the date, Piorkowski says. Pick an activity where you won’t have to talk the entire time, like a movie or a sporting event, Kalish says.

Keep the first date short. “The longer you go,” Kalish says, “the more problems you run into.”

Put Away the Phone

It should be a no-brainer to avoid thumbing your smartphone during the date.

Also, think twice before texting or emailing them after the date, tempting as it may be. First, wait a few days. You don’t want to look overly eager. When you do follow up, try to do so in person.

“With texting and email, all you get is words,” Piorkowski says. You miss out on the body language and facial cues that will give you a better idea of how they really feel. Worst case, if you can’t see theim face to face, just call. That way you at least get a clue from the tone of their voice.

Get Real

Once you start dating, it’s easy to start thinking that the world revolves around this girl. But be careful not to put too much pressure on them or the relationship. This isn’t a Hollywood romance. “On these romantic comedies, love is all about infatuation and feelings,” Kalish says. “Real love is a behavior. It’s about caring and growing.”

You need to give them and yourself room to grow as individuals, Piorkowski says. Balance your schedule. Spend time with them, but also spend time with your guy friends. Stay involved with your sports team or your after-school clubs.

“She can’t be the end-all be-all,” Piorkowski says. “She can’t take the place of what’s important for you.”

When you’re with them, live in the moment. Try not to worry about commitment or the distant future. They are a friend, so enjoy your time with them. Dating should be fun.

Take the High Road

Rejection is part of dating. It’s hard. But how you handle the end of a relationship can be just as important as how you handled the beginning.

If they break up with you, try not to get mad. “Boys turn sadness into anger,” Kalish says. “They tend to lash out.”

It’s OK to go home and cry. It’s not OK to smear their reputation or stalk them. Respect their space. Remember, the reason they gave you for the breakup may not be the true reason. (Kalish says her research shows that 90% of the time, the parents cause the breakup.) Besides, if you really like them, you don’t want to ruin the chances that you might get back together someday.

On the other hand, if you do the breaking up, do it respectfully. Not by email or text and certainly not over social media. But you might not want to do it in person, either. A phone call may be the way to go, Kalish says. “It’s a bit colder in a way, but it’s safer for her,” Kalish says. “At least on the phone, she won’t be embarrassed.”

Letting them down respectfully makes the breakup easier on you and them, and it makes you look like a good guy. That’s a great reputation to have if you want to date other girls in the same school.

Show Sources

Nancy Kalish, PhD, Professor Emeritus of Psychology, California State University Sacramento.

Geraldine Piorkowski, PhD, Director of Counseling Center, University of Illinois at Chicago.

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How to get a girl

One way to get a girl’s attention is to take up more space. Insecure men often shrink away, collapsing their shoulders, hoping they won’t stick out. Confident men on the other hand, have no trouble showing it through their comfortable, natural body language.
One great way to take up more space and project confidence is by standing up straight and keeping your hands out of your pockets.

Beyond looking confident, you also want to show women you are friendly and approachable. How do you do this? One trick is to simply stay alert and engaged in your environment by making eye contact and smiling at people who walk by.How to get a girl

A great way to get girls to notice you is to start fun, friendly conversations with the people around you. If you’re not sure how to do this, one trick is to take note of what a person is wearing or eating and drinking and use that as the on-ramp to a conversation.

Seems like a no-brainer given the site you’re reading, but dressing sharp and looking clean goes a long, long way to getting girls to notice you.

If there’s someone you’re eyeing, ask her a question about her drink if it’s unique looking or compliment her outfit, eyes or smile. If she engages, remember to make eye contact, smile, and say her name throughout the conversation.

We discussed earlier about making eye contact with people walking by to be more approachable. However, making direct eye contact with the girl you’re interested in is the surest way to get her attention. And also the surest way to tell if she’s interested. If she holds it longer than normal and/or keeps looking in your direction, that’s as big as a cross-the-room greenlight as you’re going to get.

21 questions is a GOATed game. And coming up with 21 questions to ask a girl is pretty easy if you know what you’re doing. For example, if you’ve got homework you haven’t done, one question could be ‘What’s the answer to 1A?’.

Right, but we want fun questions though. The best 21 questions to ask girls give them a chance to open up and lead to you having a great conversation about their answer. So, let’s get into it.


Once you have a bunch of good questions for 21 questions to ask a girl, you have the opportunity to ask her things that could otherwise be a little awkward to approach. Keep in mind that the best 21 questions to ask a girl you like are the ones that are fun, unique, and that they can’t respond to with only ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers.

Check out these good questions for 21 questions to ask a girl to get your crush to open up and have a great time:

  1. What are five words you would use to describe yourself?
  2. What are five words you think other people would use to describe you?
  3. What is your dream vacation?
  4. If you could have a house by the ocean or in the mountains, which would you choose?
  5. What does your dream house look like?
  6. If you could be a character in a movie, who would you be?
  7. What is your biggest achievement?
  8. What’s something about you that I wouldn’t know when first meeting you?
  9. If you could binge watch an entire movie series in one day, which would you choose? (Or ask what show they’ve done that with already).
  10. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
  11. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
  12. What was your dream job as a kid?
  13. If you could have dinner with three people living or dead, who would they be?
  14. Who is your celebrity crush? (Try and guess this one, we often have a completely different idea of who our crush finds attractive – fingers crossed they choose a celebrity that kinda looks like you).
  15. What’s your favorite smell on a guy? (Hopefully you’ll find it here).
  16. If you could switch places with anyone for a day, who would it be?
  17. What’s your favorite dinosaur? (Throw a random one in there, mix it up).
  18. Who was your first crush/first kiss?
  19. What’s your idea of the perfect date? (And take notes!)
  20. What are your bad habits?
  21. Imagine yourself in 10 years: what do you see?

The best questions to ask a girl or guy should always aim to discover more about them. Make sure that you’re really listening to the answers they give you.

How to Get a Girl to Like You in the Sixth Grade. If you’re in the sixth grade and you want to get a girl to like you, then you should use some specific techniques to make your moves. Girls in sixth grade can be picky when it comes to guys; they might be looking for a Prince Charming because of all the fairy tales they hear when growing up. Look like a knight in shining armor and win a girl’s heart.

Explore this article

1 Start

Start by talking to her every now and then. Say “Hi” when you get to class and say “Bye” when school ends. Make her notice you by making light conversation.

2 Listen to her

Listen to her. If she talks to you one day and you get into a conversation, try to actively listen. Girls like when guys pay attention to what they say instead of interrupting.

3 Ask her

Ask her if she wants to study with you for the next exam. This activity will bring you a lot closer if you are spending time studying after school. You can find out her likes and dislikes.

4 Saying her outfit

Compliment her by saying her outfit is nice or her hair looks great. Be subtle and don’t go overboard and become mushy, since it is a big turn-off for girls.

5 Stick up for her

Stick up for her if she ever has any complications with other students. She will like you for your heroic attitude.

6 Write her a poem

Write her a poem. A girl is charmed by poetry and the arts. Pull her aside and read it to her in private. She will love the effort you are making to express yourself.

How to get a girl

As you can imagine, this didn’t exactly help me woo the ladies (unless by “woo” you mean make them want to giggle, run away, and/or hide).

My troubles were a symptom of a common problem shared by many guys like you: I wasn’t confident in myself. Know the feeling? Let’s give your confidence (and dating life) a helpful shove in the right direction. This is how to ask a girl out and get a yes (almost) every time.

Table of Contents

Ground Rules

Your Posture Should Scream Confidence

Most men guarantee a rejection before they even open their mouth because their appearance does not express confidence. Here are some simple cues to help you remember the do’s and don’ts of posture.

Do not:

  • Stare at the ground
  • Cross your legs/arms
  • Slump your shoulders
  • Fidget


  • Keep your chin up
  • Gaze forward
  • Shoulders down and back
  • Chest high

When in doubt, think about how much space you are taking up. Is it a lot, or a little? If you’re not taking up much space, it’s possible you are curled up in a sad little ball (which just doesn’t make you look confident).

Take up as much space with your body as you can to reflect that you are comfortable in your body (and this hopefully goes without saying, but keep it within reason — don’t go lying down on the ground in the middle of the bar or anything crazy!)

The Clothes Make the Man

No, you don’t have to be donned in a freshly tailored suit when you ask a girl out. But that doesn’t mean you should look like a slob either. Dress in whatever style fits your personality, but keep it classy. No wrinkled tees, dirty shoes, or other fashion disasters allowed. Don’t sweat the specifics, but whatever you do, dress like the handsome and polished fella you are.

Gauging Interest

Engage Eye Contact

If a coffeehouse cutie catches your eye, shoot a few harmless glances in her direction. Linger for a brief moment before turning your attention elsewhere, but don’t voyage beyond the five second mark unless you want to be labeled a creeper.

If she returns your gaze with a smile, this is a good sign that the feeling might be mutual.

Do Not Confuse Kindness with Attraction

Just because a woman smiles at or talks to you, does not mean she wants to take your friendship to the next level, so don’t get your hopes up without good reason.

Not sure if a friend likes you or not? Ask her out and if she says, “What, like a date?” reply, “Yes!” without hesitation. Confidence is sexy (and even if she says, “No,” at least you’ll know for sure).

The Approach

Keep It Simple

Don’t try to be funny and forget about impressing her. Women are attracted to men who are confident in their own skin, so bending over backwards in an attempt to “wow” a woman will probably just make her think you are trying too hard.

Take a few deep breaths, think to yourself, “No big deal,” confidently walk up to her, and say, “Hi.” For bonus points, find something about her to compliment (maybe she has a neat tattoo, an expressive smile, or a witty t-shirt?).

Does Popping the Question Sound Terrifying?

If you’re worried about appearing nervous, let’s make your approach as quick-and-painless as possible.

March up to her and say something like, “Hello! I know this is a bit random, but I just wanted to say you caught my eye. I’m running late for a meeting/work/class/(you get the idea), but I’d love to get your phone number if that’s okay?”

The Big Night

Don’t Take a Sporty Woman to the Opera

Did she say yes? Sweet! Let’s get ready for your date, you fine hunk of man, you.

Do some homework before the Big Night arrives. Ask her about things like favorite movies, sports, musical genres, and hobbies.

This way, you can disguise your detective work as small-talk and surprise her with a perfect night out that fits her interests.

Are You Listening, Ogling, or Waiting for Your Turn to Speak?

Keep your eyes on her eyes when she speaks. If you show her what a classy, interesting guy you are, you’ll have more opportunities to check those out later.

And REALLY listen to her! Listen actively, smiling and nodding in the appropriate places, and be ready with follow-up questions that show her how thoughtful you are. First impressions are huge, so don’t blow it!

Keep It in Your Pants

If you’re both ready to hop in bed together after the first night, I’m not gonna stop you. Different women have different comfort zones when it comes to sex, so I can’t give you a sweeping suggestion for when sex should become a serious consideration.

That said, don’t push the issue if she isn’t ready. If you really like this girl, don’t blow it in a moment of overwhelming libido. I know it’s hard to be patient but remember: everything is better when you have to wait for it (plus it will be a lot more fun when she is ready … promise!)


No Mind Games Allowed

There is no “best time” to text or call after a date, so stop over-analyzing it.

If she likes you, she will be more than happy to hear from you, no matter when that might be (Note: if the first date was a Grand Slam, you’d be wise to say, “Hi,” the following day and schedule a follow-up date ASAP because momentum is your friend).

The only rule? Don’t be clingy. Confidence is hot, so keep calm and cool.

Fellas: I hope you feel more confident in the question, “How to ask a girl out?”

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This Girl Can believes that there’s no right way to get active – if it gets your heart rate up, it counts. And we want more women to find what’s right for them.

The campaign celebrates active women who are doing their thing no matter how they look, how well they do it or how sweaty they get. We want to challenge the conventional idea of what exercise looks like and reach out to women of all backgrounds and ethnicities who feel left behind by traditional exercise.

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How to get a girl

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We knew that we had to address the gender gap and the reason behind it; and we knew we had to do something different.

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In January 2020, This Girl Can’s new TV ad premiered, once again showing the raw, unfiltered reality of women exercising in whatever way works for them.

And in September 2020 an updated ad launched, highlighting the inventive ways in which women had kept, or got, active during the challenging times of the coronavirus pandemic and the increased barriers to activity that came with it.

When you’re working on how to get your girl in the mood, know that anticipation is key. You have to keep her wanting in your mind, and you have to do so without revealing too much about your desires. It’s a tough balance to maintain, and yes, chances are you might fail the first few times you try this method. But guess what? Practice makes perfect, and we’re here to help you with that.

How to Get a Girl in the Mood

Isolate her

If you’re at a bar or a club and see a woman hanging out with her friends, then the best way of having a shot with her is to isolate her from her friends temporarily of course. Now this can be tricky because women don’t trust strange men. So how about you walk over to the group, introduce yourself to all her friends, and then ask her politely if she’d like to step away and speak with you for 5 minutes? Or you could offer to buy her a drink. Opt for a tactic you’re most comfortable with.

Slow down

Now that you have her alone, you don’t have to rush into getting her in the mood just because you have a limited time span. Talk calmly and keep deliberate pauses in your sentences. Not only they give a dramatic flair to what you’re saying, but also build anticipation about what you’re saying. Also, remember to keep your hands to yourself. Just because she’s agreed to talk to you doesn’t mean she’s consented to you touching her.

Brush aside her hair

This is a small gesture on your part but has great effect, especially for her. If her hair’s slightly covering her face, look into her eyes, smile gently and then brush her hair behind her ear or over her shoulder. Apart from showing her that you care about her, this gesture can easily escalate the sexual tension between you two.

Use your body language

Your body language plays a vital part in how to get a girl in the mood. Sit straight, and keep your chin up and your chest pushed a little forward. Avoid crossing your arms, maintain eye contact, smile from time to time and when you walk, walk tall. If you’re on a date, then instead of sitting next to her, sit opposite her. That way neither of you will have any trouble seeing each other clearly, and maintaining eye contact will become that much easier.

Triangle gazing works

In all probability you may have never heard of this technique, so let me elaborate. From time to time, look first at her left eye for 2 seconds, then to her right eye for another 2 seconds, and then shift your gaze to her lips for 2-3 seconds. And that’s it. Much like the movie Inception, this technique plants an idea into her head that you’re interested in her. And it will improve your chances of being kissed by her.

Observe her body language

Most men get so lost when talking to a woman that they seldom notice the most obvious signs that they’ve lost their potential partners. Here are some signs which show that she’s interested in you:

She plays with her hair;

She smiles/laughs often;

She exposes parts of her body like her neck or shoulders, a subconscious invitation towards you that she’s sexually available;

She's sitting close to you;

She maintains eye contact with you;

She has dilated pupils until and unless you’re in a dim environment.

Pull her towards you

Most women are still old-fashioned when it comes to men – they are more likely attracted to men who are strong, assertive, slightly dominating and fall into the stereotypical category of being “manly”. When the date ends, you can either hold her hands or if you have the opportunity, put your hands around her waist and pull her gently towards you. Then ever so slowly, pull her closer till your faces are almost touching each other’s. And if she seems responsive or doesn't pull away, that’s your cue to kiss her. Trust me, she’s going to remember this kiss for a very long time. Remember this the next time you’re working on how to get a girl in the mood.

Kiss her, but.

On her forehead. This works perfectly for guys who are out on their first dates and aren’t sure whether or not to kiss her on the lips. So why not play it safe and kiss her on the forehead? It’s very cute, shows her that you’re affectionate towards her, as well as reveals the fact that you’re enough of a gentleman to not push her into doing something she doesn’t want to do!

Build a lingering sexual tension

Of course, there are different ways of building sexual tension and a few methods have already been shared above. But here are some more subtle and highly effective ways in which you can increase her anticipation by leaving the sexual tension lingering in the air:

Let your finger linger on her waist, hand, shoulders or face for 2 seconds after your hands move away;

Trace your fingers in a zigzag line on her back, starting from the bottom of the nape of her neck to just around her lower waist;

Sometimes, just lower your voice so that she has to move in closer to listen to you or whisper in her ear from time to time;

Look at her lips for one second or two, and when she catches you looking at them, smile and look away.

Play to her sense of smell

Now this one works either when you’re having a date at home (Netflix and chill) or you’re at a place where you can control the environment (like your friend’s bar). The sense of smell is one of the most underrated senses out there, which is why using it to figure out how to get a girl in the mood is pure genius. Throw out your cheesy colognes and instead invest in some scented candles, like vanilla, apple spice or even strawberry. If that’s not possible, invest in a room spray or air freshener, but make sure it’s mild and something like rose or sandalwood scented products is great. Bonus points – find out what her fav scents or perfumes are and use them to please her senses!

How to get a girl

You’re thinking about trying to conceive — yay! Prepare to embark on an incredible life adventure, friend. Of course, if you’re anything like us, preparing for the adventure of pregnancy probably entails envisioning what your future child might look like. And that may lead you to wonder how to get pregnant with a girl. Is that even possible? Can you influence the sex of your offspring? Let’s take a look.

Before we do, though, please know that you don’t have to feel guilty about *not-so-secretly* hoping you’ll have a girl. It’s a natural inclination to want to put a face to the future child in your head. And having a daughter is amazing! Just remember (and understand and accept) that the sex of your child may not be the gender identity they choose for themselves later. With that said, here’s what you need to know about how to conceive a girl.

Is it possible to guarantee a baby girl?

Well, it depends on who you ask. There are some high-tech medical procedures that dramatically increase your chances of having a girl. The companies offering those might even claim that they can up your odds to 100 percent or pretty darn close. More on that in a minute. But the bottom line is that there isn’t a natural, medical-intervention-free way to guarantee preferred sex. There are, however, many wives’ tales and theories parents swear by for influencing it. These include:

There are a few different schools of theory when it comes to how food affects the sex of a baby. One British study suggests that you may be more likely to have a little girl if you’re a vegetarian. Some researchers claim that you’re more likely to have a female if you create a more acidic environment (so, maybe eat more tomatoes and chocolate?). Apparently, male sperm have a harder time reaching the eggs when in an acidic space. But keep in mind, this kind of acidic diet is not healthy for you or the baby, so don’t overdo it. Also, it’s thought that women with a low salt intake might have a slightly higher chance of having a girl. This means, cutting out the meat or blue cheeses if you’re want to give the possibility of having a little girl a fighting chance.

Timing Methods

When it comes to gender-swaying, some people insist timing is everything. Here are a few methods that seem to back that assertion:

  • The Shettles Method: The gist here is that female-producing sperm (X-sperm) are slower swimmers than male-producing sperm (Y-sperm), but they live longer. To capitalize on that, the Shettles Method recommends having sex as two to four days before ovulation. The idea is that “girl sperm” (X sperm) are stronger and have more endurance than “boy sperm” (Y sperm), so they’re more likely to last long enough for the egg to arrive.
  • The Whelan Method: Not crazy about the Shettles Method? Well, you could always do the opposite — aka the Whelan Method. Here, the idea is that a woman’s body is more favorable to Y-sperm at certain times in her cycle. Specifically, it states you should have sex four to six days before ovulation if you want a boy. It recommends sex two to three days prior to ovulation for a girl (so, in that respect, similar to Shettles).

Sexual Position & More

Hey, this may not have any scientific basis, but at least it’ll be fun, right? The logic here again relies on the fact that boy sperm lacks the endurance of female sperm. They can swim fast, but only for short bursts. So, you want to choose sexual positions that get them as close to the cervix as possible, like Missionary.

There are a few other things to consider in the bedroom if you’re hoping to conceive a girl. First, the female orgasm releases an alkaline secretion that could help the sperm survive longer. Accordingly, some people believe that a woman trying to have a baby girl should abstain from climaxing (we’re just the messengers!). On the plus side — or maybe negative if you’re supposed to skip the big O every time — it’s also suggested that having a lot of sex leading up to your key conception window may help weed out boy sperm by reducing your partner’s sperm count.

What medical interventions might help conceive a girl?

If you have your heart set on conceiving a girl and cost isn’t an issue, you might want to consider a more high-tech form of sex-selection. These include:

  • Preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD): This method was created to help identify markers of serious genetic disorders. However, it has also become popular for determining gender. The process, which takes place in conjunction with in-vitro fertilization, involves doctors examining cells from each fertilized embryo and keeping only embryos of the desired sex for implantation. Although it’s thought to be around 95 percent accurate, it’s also controversial. Plus, it’s extremely costly and requires IVF.
  • Sperm sorting or spinning: Another approach that leans into science is sperm sorting, also known as MicroSort or “spinning.” here, the father-to-be provides a sperm sample, which is separated out into X and Y chromosomes. The sperm with the desired chromosomes (so, X if you want a little girl) will then be used for IVF or intrauterine insemination (IUI).

Are there any old wives’ tales about how to get pregnant with a girl?

As long as you take it with a grain of salt, you could always consult gender prediction calendars and use them to try to conceive a girl. You can find both the Mayan and Chinese gender prediction calendars. Your best approach with this (totally unscientific but still fun) method may be to find a block of months that are all “girl months,” then count backward to find the ideal conception time.

Some people also believe it’s helpful to eat a bunch of fruits and vegetables if you want to put that ballerina-themed nursery to good use. The same goes for consuming food that is high in calcium and magnesium.

And if you like long hot showers, you may also be inadvertently boosting your chances of having a baby girl. Granted, like all the information in this section, this is not proven. However, boy sperm apparently hates the heat. So, if your dream is to have a baby girl, go ahead and soak in a hot tub before sex. It’ll weaken any boy sperm that makes its way inside of you.

Then again, if you’re feeling really festive, you could roll the dice with a particularly adventurous old wives’ tale about conceiving a baby girl. What is it? You’re going to need to chart the lunar cycle in addition to your own, because some people believe you’ll get pregnant with a daughter if you have sex when the moon is full! If this works, you should totally give your baby girl a lunar name.

When will I find out if I’m having a baby girl?

Well, if you opted for IVF, you may already know going into the procedure — you have the option of choosing to have only embryos of your desired sex implanted. If you aren’t planning on IVF, though, you could find out as soon as 10 weeks through tests like the non-invasive prenatal test (NIPT) or chorionic villus sampling (CVS).

If you don’t have either of these tests, you’ll likely learn the sex of your baby at your 20-week anatomy scan.